Ugh ..AP is not a downgrade

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s so pathetic how everyone is jumping on the OW and not
OP’s husband. Maybe he told her they were separated or divorcing. We have no idea what her perception of his marital status was. HE is the cheater yet here you all go slamming the woman he may have duped and misled as well.

Either he didn’t mislead her and she’s a whore, or he did and she’s dumb as a box of rocks and a whore.

Someone who can’t pull together enough facts over a period of time to realize they’re a side piece isn’t some wonderful catch either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s so pathetic how everyone is jumping on the OW and not
OP’s husband. Maybe he told her they were separated or divorcing. We have no idea what her perception of his marital status was. HE is the cheater yet here you all go slamming the woman he may have duped and misled as well.

Either he didn’t mislead her and she’s a whore, or he did and she’s dumb as a box of rocks and a whore.

Someone who can’t pull together enough facts over a period of time to realize they’re a side piece isn’t some wonderful catch either.

Yep. All women know you research the guy before the coffee date. You know like Google, county records to see if he's been married/divorced. There are a million search engines, lol so that doesn't fly.

I'm in the dumb as a box of rocks, and a whore camp. Still the DH is just as bad, I didn't minimize that and said so. There are decent spouses that picked poorly who are stuck with a cheater because of kids and finances. It sucks to find out you married a pos.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s so pathetic how everyone is jumping on the OW and not
OP’s husband. Maybe he told her they were separated or divorcing. We have no idea what her perception of his marital status was. HE is the cheater yet here you all go slamming the woman he may have duped and misled as well.

I admit OP's husband is no good. If possible she should probably divorce him, but I don't know what her situation is. I've known women close to retirement, they pretty much have to stay with the cheater. Sure they hope he slips on a banana peel.

I would tell the AP's husband maybe even before confronting her own. Or marching right over to their home, that's me though. I can support myself, and am comfortable so I would be happy to blow up AP's life, and stick it to my cheating husband as well.

[Anonymous]

Calling someone a “whore” isn’t productive, but you deserve better than to compare yourself to some other woman like your husband is shopping for a car. It wouldn’t matter if she was J-Lo or something - the problem is between you and your husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s so pathetic how everyone is jumping on the OW and not
OP’s husband. Maybe he told her they were separated or divorcing. We have no idea what her perception of his marital status was. HE is the cheater yet here you all go slamming the woman he may have duped and misled as well.

I admit OP's husband is no good. If possible she should probably divorce him, but I don't know what her situation is. I've known women close to retirement, they pretty much have to stay with the cheater. Sure they hope he slips on a banana peel.

I would tell the AP's husband maybe even before confronting her own. Or marching right over to their home, that's me though. I can support myself, and am comfortable so I would be happy to blow up AP's life, and stick it to my cheating husband as well.

My neighbor did this. The OW’s husband kicked her out, then my neighbor’s husband left my neighbor to be with his now-single girlfriend.

They’ve been together for five years, and seem to be happy. I see them when they come pick up his kids (she kept the house, and they do week on/week off custody). She seems happy now too—she went back to work and travels a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s so pathetic how everyone is jumping on the OW and not
OP’s husband. Maybe he told her they were separated or divorcing. We have no idea what her perception of his marital status was. HE is the cheater yet here you all go slamming the woman he may have duped and misled as well.

It’s not pathetic. The OP is about the OW. It’s just on topic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s so pathetic how everyone is jumping on the OW and not
OP’s husband. Maybe he told her they were separated or divorcing. We have no idea what her perception of his marital status was. HE is the cheater yet here you all go slamming the woman he may have duped and misled as well.

It’s not pathetic. The OP is about the OW. It’s just on topic.

Besides, I think everyone agreed he is a lying loser, too. Did anyone not???

[Anonymous]

Don’t you have to explore the relationship with the AP first and make sure it will last before seeking a divorce?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s so pathetic how everyone is jumping on the OW and not
OP’s husband. Maybe he told her they were separated or divorcing. We have no idea what her perception of his marital status was. HE is the cheater yet here you all go slamming the woman he may have duped and misled as well.

I admit OP's husband is no good. If possible she should probably divorce him, but I don't know what her situation is. I've known women close to retirement, they pretty much have to stay with the cheater. Sure they hope he slips on a banana peel.

I would tell the AP's husband maybe even before confronting her own. Or marching right over to their home, that's me though. I can support myself, and am comfortable so I would be happy to blow up AP's life, and stick it to my cheating husband as well.

My neighbor did this. The OW’s husband kicked her out, then my neighbor’s husband left my neighbor to be with his now-single girlfriend.

They’ve been together for five years, and seem to be happy. I see them when they come pick up his kids (she kept the house, and they do week on/week off custody). She seems happy now too—she went back to work and travels a lot.

Lol. What a pretty little picture except for all the kids whose lives were upended and are probably full of resentment and the families who hate each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t you have to explore the relationship with the AP first and make sure it will last before seeking a divorce?

No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s someone who’d sleep with a married man who has a family. Sounds like a pretty big personality flaw to me.

+1 Who cares how externally successful she is? She has the morals of Tony Soprano.

She has Daddy Issues most likely. She probably had to compete for his attention with a sister or something.

Yeah, because women with Daddy issues come from functional families, they just have a sister. WTF? There are many women out there with daddy issues, but having a sister is not one of those causes.

What say ye, Ivanka?

DP. This is what you are focusing on? Why, it was clearly just an example.

I always wonder about PPs who get angry and hung up on some little aside like this instead of sticking with the main topic. Wonder what is up in their own lives that this catches their attention and sets them off.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s so pathetic how everyone is jumping on the OW and not
OP’s husband. Maybe he told her they were separated or divorcing. We have no idea what her perception of his marital status was. HE is the cheater yet here you all go slamming the woman he may have duped and misled as well.

Either he didn’t mislead her and she’s a whore, or he did and she’s dumb as a box of rocks and a whore.

Someone who can’t pull together enough facts over a period of time to realize they’re a side piece isn’t some wonderful catch either.

You’re an idiot.

I dated a married guy. He told me they were separated by mutual decision and detailed a lot of their fights. Separated is fine by me. He slept at my house twice a week on average, and we hung out probably 4-5 nights per week total. We were out in public constantly, out with our co-workers and he would put his arm around me, etc. We attended each others’ holiday parties. Twice we went away together for the weekend, to a concert and another time to a big city just to get away. He always answered my calls or texts and wasn’t really ever on his phone around me (and if he was, didn’t hide it). I finally figured out that he must not really be separated or didn’t plan to actually move forward to divorce, and it’s now 5 years later and they’re still married. But you can’t honestly say that I’m an idiot for dating him, the way our relationship was.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s so pathetic how everyone is jumping on the OW and not
OP’s husband. Maybe he told her they were separated or divorcing. We have no idea what her perception of his marital status was. HE is the cheater yet here you all go slamming the woman he may have duped and misled as well.

Either he didn’t mislead her and she’s a whore, or he did and she’s dumb as a box of rocks and a whore.

Someone who can’t pull together enough facts over a period of time to realize they’re a side piece isn’t some wonderful catch either.

You’re an idiot.

I dated a married guy. He told me they were separated by mutual decision and detailed a lot of their fights. Separated is fine by me. He slept at my house twice a week on average, and we hung out probably 4-5 nights per week total. We were out in public constantly, out with our co-workers and he would put his arm around me, etc. We attended each others’ holiday parties. Twice we went away together for the weekend, to a concert and another time to a big city just to get away. He always answered my calls or texts and wasn’t really ever on his phone around me (and if he was, didn’t hide it). I finally figured out that he must not really be separated or didn’t plan to actually move forward to divorce, and it’s now 5 years later and they’re still married. But you can’t honestly say that I’m an idiot for dating him, the way our relationship was.

Actually, that could be said. "Separated" is not divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about a situation where the people having an affair are a genuinely better match? What do you do if you meet someone life that -- divorce first?

Yes. As someone who has been in that situation, the one regret I have is both of us not ending our relationships first. It all worked out in the end, my ex and I get along and she later acknowledged I was right about us not being right for each other. Her relationship with her ex is "agreeable" at best, but it's better than when they were married. But even with all that, it still continues to weigh on me that we didn't go about it the right way.

It's just hard to believe that someone would end a marriage before they know whether or not there is physical chemistry... i don't believe it happens. I have to think most of these "found a better match" things start with an affair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s someone who’d sleep with a married man who has a family. Sounds like a pretty big personality flaw to me.

+1 Who cares how externally successful she is? She has the morals of Tony Soprano.

She has Daddy Issues most likely. She probably had to compete for his attention with a sister or something.

That or she just finds him extremely HOT and they have chemistry together. Hate on her all you want, but he made the affair decision. He is the one in a committed relationship.