White privilege and asian-bashing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
White mom here. Yes you are right. I want my kids to have a childhood that does not feel like drill school. I also am not a fan of travel sports teams for most kids as they seem ridiculous over investment of time/money vs enjoying playing the sport for fun.

I do not want to be in an atmosphere where my kid needs to drill for hours to keep up with the top vs doing a normal amount of work and letting aptitude help them along.

I do not think those other parents are bad parents. I just do not want that environment for my kids. We picked a more “normal” (for America) school zone and are happy with the non-extreme level of competitiveness.

PP here. I don't think there's anything wrong with more laid back parenting. The thing I think is wrong is criticizing other parents because their kids are working harder than yours and winning the awards. There are many activities out there that my family has decided that we have no desire to be competitive and won't be winning any awards. That's fine. People should choose the level of investment they want in an activity, and then accept the outcomes that will naturally flow from that choice.

It's very white privilege to choose to work very hard at sports, but not at academics or music, happily accept that your kids are winning all of the sports awards, but complain that Asians are dominating the academics and music.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not all South Asian or East Asian immigrants to US are MC or UMC.

And not tiger parents are Asian.
Still the phenomenon exists.
Tiger parents come to good school districts in droves and[b] disrupt them.[/b] It’s about the numbers, the concentration of ppl with a different philosophy.
Not about their ethnicity or race or class.

This is a load of BS. There is something inherently wrong if a school cannot accommodate high achievers. The Tiger Parents are not kidnapping other people's children and making them study hard. I think people are upset because their children were getting easy A's and all of a sudden they are being graded in a curve.

A good school district should welcome Tiger parents and students. MCPS is not thriving when instead of Tiger parents they are getting more and more of ESOL, FARMS and low performing kids.

A good school district will expand opportunities. If you had spelling bees before, include Geography, Biology, Science, Literature Bees, Cinema Bee, Sports Bee, Pop Music Bee too,

If you had school newspaper before, include school comic strip. If you had a Green Recycling Team before, include a Butterfly Garden club, a Blue Bird Trail team There is so much a school district can do to include parents and businesses and create more and more opportunities for all caliber of students.

After a point though, parents have to be inconvenienced and make the sacrifice of their time and resources to support their children. Sorry, that is what good human parenting is about.

[Anonymous]

Both Asians and whites should know that they are The Privileged Enemy in the “equity training” your kids’ teachers are now forced to go through.

I just stay quiet and let it wash over me. Such BS.

- a teacher in NoVa

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“White parents were accustomed to having their kids shine at everything without working hard. Then, people came along who worked harder and won everything. Rather than developing a work ethic and investing more time into activities, the white parents complain about Asians prepping and "ruining their children's childhood" with too much school. This sentiment is very obvious if you read the AAP forum. There is a huge cultural divide at play, since Asian families are more impressed by work ethic while white ones are more impressed by natural aptitude. ”

White mom here. Yes you are right. I want my kids to have a childhood that does not feel like drill school. I also am not a fan of travel sports teams for most kids as they seem ridiculous over investment of time/money vs enjoying playing the sport for fun.

I do not want to be in an atmosphere where my kid needs to drill for hours to keep up with the top vs doing a normal amount of work and letting aptitude help them along.

I do not think those other parents are bad parents. I just do not want that environment for my kids. We picked a more “normal” (for America) school zone and are happy with the non-extreme level of competitiveness.

And the best part is your kid arguably has a better chance of going to an elite school being at the top in your less competitive area vs having to fight tooth and nail to get to the top in one of they hyper competitive school zone/pyramids

[Anonymous]

I'm not really laid back- ie my kid is in aap, I drill them in math facts and help them study for tests, and want them to excel academically. But if excelling meant we had to send them to cram school every night then I would move and get out of the aap world. I think cramming and over scheduling leads to mental health issues and life for me is too short to make my kids living their lives to meet their parent's expectations. Of course people can choose to do this, but it would upset me if my the academic culture of my kids school chanced in this way regardless of the cultural group that lead the policy change.

[Anonymous]

Winning what prizes? The same admission to UVA that almost 40 percent of instate applicants get?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Winning what prizes? The same admission to UVA that almost 40 percent of instate applicants get?

Spelling Bees, math contests, being a soloist in the top orchestras, winning chess competitions, and other things like that which are dominated by Asians. Getting rid of things like that because some kids are working harder and winning all of the awards would be ludicrous. We all have to prioritize things as we see fit, and then accept the natural outcome flowing from that decision. I personally think spelling bees are silly, and I have no desire to push my kids to practice. If other kids want to practice and win, more power to them. Likewise, if other people want to put their kids into cram schools, I'm not sure why I should care.

[Anonymous]

“I'm not really laid back- ie my kid is in aap, I drill them in math facts and help them study for tests, and want them to excel academically. But if excelling meant we had to send them to cram school every night then I would move and get out of the aap world. I think cramming and over scheduling leads to mental health issues and life for me is too short to make my kids living their lives to meet their parent's expectations. Of course people can choose to do this, but it would upset me if my the academic culture of my kids school chanced in this way regardless of the cultural group that lead the policy change.”

This. Spot on.

[Anonymous]

Which school system is so competitive that bright kids need to attend hours of cram school to keep up? It’s certainly not the case in any DC metro schools. Some kids might be doing tutoring to keep up, but most bright kids handle AP classes perfectly fine. Unless they’re making the classes harder in response to the people doing cram school, it shouldn’t matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Which school system is so competitive that bright kids need to attend hours of cram school to keep up? It’s certainly not the case in any DC metro schools. Some kids might be doing tutoring to keep up, but most bright kids handle AP classes perfectly fine. Unless they’re making the classes harder in response to the people doing cram school, it shouldn’t matter.

It's not that the classes are harder in response to kids doing cram school, it's that teachers then expect that the students already know the material so don't actually teach it. My kid is bright and doesn't need a lot of teaching but he does need some teaching. Teaching, not reminding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
It's not that the classes are harder in response to kids doing cram school, it's that teachers then expect that the students already know the material so don't actually teach it. My kid is bright and doesn't need a lot of teaching but he does need some teaching. Teaching, not reminding.

In that case, you should bash the teachers for not doing their jobs rather than bashing Asian parents. The teachers should cover the materials that they're supposed to cover, and if kids are bored because they've pre-taught themselves the material, that's their problem. Teachers shouldn't be catering to that at the expense of everyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It's not that the classes are harder in response to kids doing cram school, it's that teachers then expect that the students already know the material so don't actually teach it. My kid is bright and doesn't need a lot of teaching but he does need some teaching. Teaching, not reminding.

In that case, you should bash the teachers for not doing their jobs rather than bashing Asian parents. The teachers should cover the materials that they're supposed to cover, and if kids are bored because they've pre-taught themselves the material, that's their problem. Teachers shouldn't be catering to that at the expense of everyone else.

Yup and that's the current state of education today. Multiplication is supposed to be taught in third grade. How are you supposed to teach when 1/3 of the class already knows multiplication 1/3 is actually on grade level and the other 1/3 is behind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah,well,you know,this is how the white elites started reacting to Jewish success too.

Yup.

And incredibly many of those Jewish Americans now support racial discrimination vs. Asian Americans.

What de Blasio is doing in NY is truly shameful.

It's the liberal machine at its finest.

Remember in November. R

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
We're an Asian family living in Bethesda with kids from elementary to high school, and while I definitely see the mindfulness, low-competition, anti-comparison trend surging in neighboring elementary schools, it is not explicitly or even implicitly linked to Asian families. It's more because our area attracts wealthy, educated families from all ethnicities and nationalities, who have high educational standards and demand more challenge from the schools, and the schools and some progressive parents push back to protect young students' mental health.

In middle and high school, you can bet that all that stuff goes out of the window as college applications start looming in the most progressive parents' heads...

WTH?!? We’re in Bethesda too, WWHS specifically, but this post makes it seem like mental health is not something worth valuing. It’s BS that concern for mental health goes out the window as kids get older and it’s not just a “progressive” thing. Talk about stereotyping.

I'm the PP you replied to. Being hysterical and uninformed makes you look even worse.

I've seen all the (mostly white, mostly long-time American) parents who in elementary school decried the competition and pressure and lamented the fact that childhood was for play and not homework, rethink their positions in middle school, and become the most stressed-out, competitive parents in high school, as well as the biggest spenders on resume-boosting trips, tutoring, prep classes, etc in high school. Too bad they didn't see that coming in elementary. You can't magically un-waste years of doing nothing by dropping $400/hr on SAT prep...

As for mindfulness, I am on the PTA board of my kids' schools and have contributed to the burgeoning mindfulness practice in MCPS, and teacher training at the elementary level, which to me is very important. Is it important to the majority of parents? Is it even on their radar? Of course not. Bethesda-area public schools are actually leading in that respect, as they've led in other things. In the years to come, mindfulness will be better valued for children in a school setting, but there's still a lot of outreach to do.

My point is that of the tortoise and the hare. You can panic and stress yourself out at the end of the race, or you can prepare throughout.

yikes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: The white parents are unsetting because their snowflakes are not the best students in the schools anymore . .

I think this is a large part of it. White parents were accustomed to having their kids shine at everything without working hard. Then, people came along who worked harder and won everything. Rather than developing a work ethic and investing more time into activities, the white parents complain about Asians prepping and "ruining their children's childhood" with too much school. This sentiment is very obvious if you read the AAP forum. There is a huge cultural divide at play, since Asian families are more impressed by work ethic while white ones are more impressed by natural aptitude.

White parents have to make a choice. Either they need to decide that winning isn't important and then stop complaining that their children aren't winning, or they need to decide that it is important and work harder. It's absurd to complain that your children aren't the best because someone else is working harder, and that the solution is that the other person needs to stop practicing. I'm white, FWIW.

This. You see it in DC with respect to a lot of rigorous programs like KIPP and Banneker. That said, I am not in favor of acceleration in elementary school, and if the school was starting to pile on homework at parent demand, I'd be annoyed.