11 year old Son wants to be a Girl

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s a fad. Unpopular opinion. I don’t care. All of a sudden in the past year we have all these transgenders coming out of the woodwork in high school. I don’t believe half of them are serious.

+1.

There is ZERO objective evidence to treat this other than a mental health disorder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a fad. Unpopular opinion. I don’t care. All of a sudden in the past year we have all these transgenders coming out of the woodwork in high school. I don’t believe half of them are serious.

Someone must be in the water of American cities.

Well, fish are becoming two genders in the Potomac.

"The prevalence of intersex fish in the Potomac River basin has raised concerns about river health.

Intersex conditions, the presence of both male and female characteristics in an animal that should exhibit the characteristics of just one sex in its lifetime, occur when chemicals like pesticides, pharmaceuticals or personal care products enter the water and disturb the hormonal systems of fish and other species. Because the hormonal systems of fish are similar to those of humans, anomalies found in fish are an indication these chemicals may also pose a risk to people."

There are definitely traces of antidepressants, birth control, antibiotics in some water supply systems. Flushing them down the toilet is a biggie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would tell my son that when he is 18, he can be or do whatever he wants, and you will support it then, but at 11, not happening under my roof.

Honestly, with that approach, your child might not live to 18.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would tell my son that when he is 18, he can be or do whatever he wants, and you will support it then, but at 11, not happening under my roof.

Honestly, with that approach, your child might not live to 18.

And definitely wouldnt speak to her when he was free and clear. But hey. At least that poster would have had the strength of her convictions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a fad. Unpopular opinion. I don’t care. All of a sudden in the past year we have all these transgenders coming out of the woodwork in high school. I don’t believe half of them are serious.

+1.

There is ZERO objective evidence to treat this other than a mental health disorder.

It doesn’t help when there are so mentally ill adults encouraging this

[Anonymous]

Haven't read whole thread In similar boat with DD. Highly recommend therapy. Be sure before he changes anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a fad. Unpopular opinion. I don’t care. All of a sudden in the past year we have all these transgenders coming out of the woodwork in high school. I don’t believe half of them are serious.

+1.

There is ZERO objective evidence to treat this other than a mental health disorder.

YES. Kids who are truly gender dysphoric show signs as young toddlers. Rapid onset gender dysphoria is a trend. Ask your kid, what does it mean to be a girl? You can be a boy and have stereotypical female interests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would tell my son that when he is 18, he can be or do whatever he wants, and you will support it then, but at 11, not happening under my roof.

Honestly, with that approach, your child might not live to 18.

If my kid was trans, I would be fine with that...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a fad. Unpopular opinion. I don’t care. All of a sudden in the past year we have all these transgenders coming out of the woodwork in high school. I don’t believe half of them are serious.

+1.

There is ZERO objective evidence to treat this other than a mental health disorder.

YES. Kids who are truly gender dysphoric show signs as young toddlers. Rapid onset gender dysphoria is a trend. Ask your kid, what does it mean to be a girl? You can be a boy and have stereotypical female interests.

This post is so flawed. The person who “created” ROGD did so based on an incredibly flawed study. She didn’t even survey the trans kids or their medical teams, only the parents opinions. I’m sorry, but some parents don’t want to see, and most children aren’t confiding all their gender concerns with their parents while they’re figuring things out. Different people show different signs of being transgender at different stages. Other people notice those signs at different rates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would tell my son that when he is 18, he can be or do whatever he wants, and you will support it then, but at 11, not happening under my roof.

Honestly, with that approach, your child might not live to 18.

If my kid was trans, I would be fine with that...

Some parents used to say things like that about their kids marrying someone the parents deemed to be the wrong race, religion or gender.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Suicide is the second leading cause of death among the 10-24 age group.

In a national study, 40% of transgender adults reported having made a suicide attempt.

LGB youth who come from highly rejecting families are 8.4 times as likely to have attempted suicide as LGB peers who reported no or low levels of family rejection.

https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/preventing-suicide/facts-about-suicide/#sm.0017bqcnq6goe3l10fd147tfbnp3k

Acceptance is vital. It’s not just the fact that they’re trans that makes kids high risk for suicide. Rejection from family members increases that risk so much. These comments about how being trans isn’t real or how they can be trans when they’re adult but not under my roof aren’t helpful.

Ok? Empathetic parenting is better parenting. Kids whose parents shut down all talk of transgender feelings would probably shut down all talk of other kinds of non-conventional feelings too.

In other words, studies like these don’t establish cause and effect, and could just as easily be read to suggest that in the current moment, depressed or suicidal kids latch onto the notion that they’re transgender as an explanation for their feelings. And I don’t care WHY you’re depressed as a teen - if your parents aren’t the kind to listen to your feelings with sympathy and patience, of course you’re going to be more likely to commit suicide.

Trans people exist. But there is just no way that there are, or ever have been, SO MANY of them as we are seeing now in junior high and high school.

That said, gender roles suck. I’d definitely believe there are PLENTY of preteens and teens who feel deep discontent when they get a taste of what society expects of them, based on their biological sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would tell my son that when he is 18, he can be or do whatever he wants, and you will support it then, but at 11, not happening under my roof.

So you would not allow a 16 or 17 year old who has said for years she is trans to essentially suppress and hide it from you? What good will that do except to show her your love is conditional and not openly giving and accepting? You are okay with that?

I think people like this are either pretending to be supportive or ignorant of what being trans is like.

Before I knew DS was trans, I assumed I’d be supportive but not necessarily allow medical procedures until adulthood. I’m bi, but I was fairly ignorant of the trans community and trans people’s needs. It turns out, it’s virtually impossible to be supportive and not allow hormones and other medical interventions. I mean, you can say you love and support, but it’s the equivalent of thoughts and prayers after a shooting. The actual support is in actions, and that includes helping your child’s outside match their inside. Telling a boy he can present as female while forcing him to go through puberty and become more masculine, irreversibly masculine, is cruel beyond words. Life is already hard enough for teens, more so for trans teens with supportive families. It’s torturous for trans kids who feel alone and unsupported.

It would be like saying you support your child being a musician but not allowing them to have an instrument or music lessons, and in some cases limiting their exposure to music because you’re afraid it will corrupt them.

I don't disagree with this, but do you have no concern about irreversible actions at such a young age? Lots of people experiment with lots of identities at that age and then change as they age. The Atlantic had a very long, balanced look at the issue a year or two back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a fad. Unpopular opinion. I don’t care. All of a sudden in the past year we have all these transgenders coming out of the woodwork in high school. I don’t believe half of them are serious.

Or perhaps they're "coming out of the woodwork" because young people are now seeing that there may be options besides being forced into boxes they don't fit into. The feelings behind this "fad" have always been there, it was just that there wasn't a name or an outlet for them.

Most teenagers in past decades wouldn't have even had the language to express what they were feeling, even if they had dared to try to tell someone. It's at least become more a part of the vernacular now, even if it's not widely understood or accepted yet.

I think you are right that the increase in people coming out is attributable, to a significant degree, with greater acceptance. But, especially as acceptance becomes greater, there is a risk that some kids latch onto the identity as a teen. There absolutely are kids who identify as trans as teen who decide that isn't right for them, just like plenty of people change in many fundamental ways during this time. I don't think it is improper to have significant hesitation about taking irreparable medical action on teenagers. That doesn't mean never do it, but it shouldn't immediately be the first response as part of acceptance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would tell my son that when he is 18, he can be or do whatever he wants, and you will support it then, but at 11, not happening under my roof.

So you would not allow a 16 or 17 year old who has said for years she is trans to essentially suppress and hide it from you? What good will that do except to show her your love is conditional and not openly giving and accepting? You are okay with that?

I think people like this are either pretending to be supportive or ignorant of what being trans is like.

Before I knew DS was trans, I assumed I’d be supportive but not necessarily allow medical procedures until adulthood. I’m bi, but I was fairly ignorant of the trans community and trans people’s needs. It turns out, it’s virtually impossible to be supportive and not allow hormones and other medical interventions. I mean, you can say you love and support, but it’s the equivalent of thoughts and prayers after a shooting. The actual support is in actions, and that includes helping your child’s outside match their inside. Telling a boy he can present as female while forcing him to go through puberty and become more masculine, irreversibly masculine, is cruel beyond words. Life is already hard enough for teens, more so for trans teens with supportive families. It’s torturous for trans kids who feel alone and unsupported.

It would be like saying you support your child being a musician but not allowing them to have an instrument or music lessons, and in some cases limiting their exposure to music because you’re afraid it will corrupt them.

I don't disagree with this, but do you have no concern about irreversible actions at such a young age? Lots of people experiment with lots of identities at that age and then change as they age. The Atlantic had a very long, balanced look at the issue a year or two back.

How long do you feel like a parent should tolerate a different gender identity than their biological gender before moving on to acceptance and allowing medical intervention? What makes you think the first step for parents who accept who their children say they are is running out to get their kids pumped full of hormones or surgery? You know that’s not how it works, right? The first step is therapy, then meeting with different doctors/medical professionals to determine if your child is a candidate for hormone therapy. That’s after (at least for us) meeting with his pediatrician for a referral and some guidance, because we didn’t even know where to start with treatment, what kind of doctors or specialists to see. Before we started any hormonal treatment, my kid had been in therapy with a trans specialist for teens for a year, met with a psychiatrist, pediatric endocrinologist, gynecologist (who specializes in trans men), a social worker, a pediatrician who specializes in trans teens as well as his regular pediatrician, and at least 1-2 other specialists. Every one of them did their own screening as well as reviewing his files and the screening from his therapist to make sure they were sure he was trans and that we knew the risks involved with any treatment he received. We had to sign waivers before starting any new treatment. He had a hormone blocker for months before starting replacement hormones to make sure he felt like the changes were right for him. In addition to all the steps we had to take and hoops we had to jump through, there were wait times to see all the specialists. Nothing about this process was quick. It’s not like a kid wakes up one day, declares themself trans, and the parents take them out for hormone patches that afternoon while planning a coming out party that evening. There are so many layers.

Of course I worry. I worry any time my kid has a medical issue. I worry about treatment. I worry about not treating him. I worry about the mean girls picking on him before he transitioned and he was an unpopular, unstylish, outcast of a girl. I worried about how my child didn’t seem to fit in anywhere. Now at least I don’t have to worry about his emotional health nearly as much. He’s far happier and it just feels like he is who he’s supposed to be. Of course, around age 2, even my transphobic mom would joke that he probably should’ve been born a boy. I’ll probably never convince you, and I’m guessing the only way you’ll change your perspective is if someone close to you transitions and you can see for yourself how the process works. Sometimes it’s the right thing to do, even if it slightly increases risks for some diseases.

[Anonymous]

Go write a book, PP.