S/O The obsession with class/tackiness/social standing

[Anonymous]

Because the differences here are so subtle that people are confused. Where I'm from the differences are more marked, so there's no point is debating it ad nauseam...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So much of this describes old money but broke. Or trustifarian but not more than a schoolteacher makes. You are not “rich”. You are gentile poverty.

That’s “genteel” poverty, lol.

Some families still have their money. For the others, where they can live on their nice, paid-for houses without working so long as they re-use the tin foil, where’s the issue? We aren’t talking Grey Gardens.

[Anonymous]

I didn't get this topic either until recently when I saw a mystery about an Indian young woman living in an arranged marriage and what it all entails. Not going to lie but I was shocked at what all was portrayed. Then I felt sorry for the ones here that post about not being in love, husband just flat out not caring, abusive, selfish. My ignorant self couldn't believe it all but now I do. Basically enslaved because the parents made the decision and since it was good enough for them it's good enough for their kids. And the lie goes on for generations.

Oh so very wrong. Life is to be enjoyed not worrying what others want have or think.

We are so much more than what we have, own, buy, show off.

When you finally reach that point where you remind yourself stuff doesn't matter, you can be very happy with life.

Your status in life means nothing if you are miserable. It's America. You are free to be you. FREE.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't get this topic either until recently when I saw a mystery about an Indian young woman living in an arranged marriage and what it all entails. Not going to lie but I was shocked at what all was portrayed. Then I felt sorry for the ones here that post about not being in love, husband just flat out not caring, abusive, selfish. My ignorant self couldn't believe it all but now I do. Basically enslaved because the parents made the decision and since it was good enough for them it's good enough for their kids. And the lie goes on for generations.

Oh so very wrong. Life is to be enjoyed not worrying what others want have or think.

We are so much more than what we have, own, buy, show off.

When you finally reach that point where you remind yourself stuff doesn't matter, you can be very happy with life.

Your status in life means nothing if you are miserable. It's America. You are free to be you. FREE.

Everybody has stuff they chose or inherited, so it doesn’t do much good to preach about stuff. Also, you assume the upper class is judging everybody, but probably they don’t care about you and your stuff as much as you think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m interested in class in my own life and the way it’s come up in subtle but insidious ways. Not obsessing over which vacations and kitchens and manicures make you seem upper class or upper middle class. I spent the first 18 years of my life feeling very privileged - ballet, sports, dressing like my peers, money to go to the movies and the prom. My dad wore a suit to work and our house was clean and comfortable and no one drank too much or cursed or smoked. I knew we weren’t rich by any means, but my world was small and I had classmates and extended family who had none of these things. It wasn’t until college and professional life made me realize that no, I am not like the people in the UMC world I entered as an adult. It’s never been that overt, like wearing fatigues to a job interview, but I have been judged negatively by the parents of more than one boyfriend, and my approach to working world norms was more blue collar flavored.

Very interesting... what do you think parents of boyfriends judged you over? What could have been missing in your upbringing? It sounds very similar to a nice UMC upbringing to me.

Not this poster, but I had a similar experience. IN my case, I didn't know all of the personal grooming stuff that wealthy people seem to know. Had never had a manicure, had never had my eyebrows waxed. Now that I"m older, I"m finding that I don't know all the secrets that wealthy people know about things like Botox and fillers and chemical peels. Didn't know that making a big deal about furnishing your kids' dorm room was a thing.
There are so many things that I used to do that I didn't know were "trashy" until I started reading this forum, like serving pasta salad. Didn't know that pizza was considered junk food, or a pre-cooked chicken from Sam's Club. Who knew? I really messed up. I used to serve Oreo's on playdates and couldn't figure out why the desperate housewives of Vienna, VA blackballed me. Didn't know you were supposed to serve beer from a glass and not a bottle. PUt bumper stickers on my car. Had no idea that highlights in your hair were considered trashy. Failed miserably in hiring a decorator for our house. Unless you grow up UMC, I don't think you know these things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m interested in class in my own life and the way it’s come up in subtle but insidious ways. Not obsessing over which vacations and kitchens and manicures make you seem upper class or upper middle class. I spent the first 18 years of my life feeling very privileged - ballet, sports, dressing like my peers, money to go to the movies and the prom. My dad wore a suit to work and our house was clean and comfortable and no one drank too much or cursed or smoked. I knew we weren’t rich by any means, but my world was small and I had classmates and extended family who had none of these things. It wasn’t until college and professional life made me realize that no, I am not like the people in the UMC world I entered as an adult. It’s never been that overt, like wearing fatigues to a job interview, but I have been judged negatively by the parents of more than one boyfriend, and my approach to working world norms was more blue collar flavored.

Very interesting... what do you think parents of boyfriends judged you over? What could have been missing in your upbringing? It sounds very similar to a nice UMC upbringing to me.

Not this poster, but I had a similar experience. IN my case, I didn't know all of the personal grooming stuff that wealthy people seem to know. Had never had a manicure, had never had my eyebrows waxed. Now that I"m older, I"m finding that I don't know all the secrets that wealthy people know about things like Botox and fillers and chemical peels. Didn't know that making a big deal about furnishing your kids' dorm room was a thing.
There are so many things that I used to do that I didn't know were "trashy" until I started reading this forum, like serving pasta salad. Didn't know that pizza was considered junk food, or a pre-cooked chicken from Sam's Club. Who knew? I really messed up. I used to serve Oreo's on playdates and couldn't figure out why the desperate housewives of Vienna, VA blackballed me. Didn't know you were supposed to serve beer from a glass and not a bottle. PUt bumper stickers on my car. Had no idea that highlights in your hair were considered trashy. Failed miserably in hiring a decorator for our house. Unless you grow up UMC, I don't think you know these things.

.

I didn’t grow up UMC. I know all of those things. Just pay attention a little.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m interested in class in my own life and the way it’s come up in subtle but insidious ways. Not obsessing over which vacations and kitchens and manicures make you seem upper class or upper middle class. I spent the first 18 years of my life feeling very privileged - ballet, sports, dressing like my peers, money to go to the movies and the prom. My dad wore a suit to work and our house was clean and comfortable and no one drank too much or cursed or smoked. I knew we weren’t rich by any means, but my world was small and I had classmates and extended family who had none of these things. It wasn’t until college and professional life made me realize that no, I am not like the people in the UMC world I entered as an adult. It’s never been that overt, like wearing fatigues to a job interview, but I have been judged negatively by the parents of more than one boyfriend, and my approach to working world norms was more blue collar flavored.

Very interesting... what do you think parents of boyfriends judged you over? What could have been missing in your upbringing? It sounds very similar to a nice UMC upbringing to me.

Not this poster, but I had a similar experience. IN my case, I didn't know all of the personal grooming stuff that wealthy people seem to know. Had never had a manicure, had never had my eyebrows waxed. Now that I"m older, I"m finding that I don't know all the secrets that wealthy people know about things like Botox and fillers and chemical peels. Didn't know that making a big deal about furnishing your kids' dorm room was a thing.
There are so many things that I used to do that I didn't know were "trashy" until I started reading this forum, like serving pasta salad. Didn't know that pizza was considered junk food, or a pre-cooked chicken from Sam's Club. Who knew? I really messed up. I used to serve Oreo's on playdates and couldn't figure out why the desperate housewives of Vienna, VA blackballed me. Didn't know you were supposed to serve beer from a glass and not a bottle. PUt bumper stickers on my car. Had no idea that highlights in your hair were considered trashy. Failed miserably in hiring a decorator for our house. Unless you grow up UMC, I don't think you know these things.

.

I didn’t grow up UMC. I know all of those things. Just pay attention a little.

Blackballing someone because they tried to serve you Oreos is what's trashy, in my opinion. If being UMC means judging people for not doing Botox or not decorating their kids' dorm room or not hiring a decorator, screw that and all what it means.

Having "class" in my opinion means showing basic kindness and respect towards people and finding common ground with someone in any situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m interested in class in my own life and the way it’s come up in subtle but insidious ways. Not obsessing over which vacations and kitchens and manicures make you seem upper class or upper middle class. I spent the first 18 years of my life feeling very privileged - ballet, sports, dressing like my peers, money to go to the movies and the prom. My dad wore a suit to work and our house was clean and comfortable and no one drank too much or cursed or smoked. I knew we weren’t rich by any means, but my world was small and I had classmates and extended family who had none of these things. It wasn’t until college and professional life made me realize that no, I am not like the people in the UMC world I entered as an adult. It’s never been that overt, like wearing fatigues to a job interview, but I have been judged negatively by the parents of more than one boyfriend, and my approach to working world norms was more blue collar flavored.

Very interesting... what do you think parents of boyfriends judged you over? What could have been missing in your upbringing? It sounds very similar to a nice UMC upbringing to me.

Not this poster, but I had a similar experience. IN my case, I didn't know all of the personal grooming stuff that wealthy people seem to know. Had never had a manicure, had never had my eyebrows waxed. Now that I"m older, I"m finding that I don't know all the secrets that wealthy people know about things like Botox and fillers and chemical peels. Didn't know that making a big deal about furnishing your kids' dorm room was a thing.
There are so many things that I used to do that I didn't know were "trashy" until I started reading this forum, like serving pasta salad. Didn't know that pizza was considered junk food, or a pre-cooked chicken from Sam's Club. Who knew? I really messed up. I used to serve Oreo's on playdates and couldn't figure out why the desperate housewives of Vienna, VA blackballed me. Didn't know you were supposed to serve beer from a glass and not a bottle. PUt bumper stickers on my car. Had no idea that highlights in your hair were considered trashy. Failed miserably in hiring a decorator for our house. Unless you grow up UMC, I don't think you know these things.

.

I didn’t grow up UMC. I know all of those things. Just pay attention a little.

Blackballing someone because they tried to serve you Oreos is what's trashy, in my opinion. If being UMC means judging people for not doing Botox or not decorating their kids' dorm room or not hiring a decorator, screw that and all what it means.

Having "class" in my opinion means showing basic kindness and respect towards people and finding common ground with someone in any situation.

Maybe. But just like I wouldn’t buy a nerf gun for a kid’s bday party, I wouldn’t serve Oreos at a play date. It is important to know your audience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m interested in class in my own life and the way it’s come up in subtle but insidious ways. Not obsessing over which vacations and kitchens and manicures make you seem upper class or upper middle class. I spent the first 18 years of my life feeling very privileged - ballet, sports, dressing like my peers, money to go to the movies and the prom. My dad wore a suit to work and our house was clean and comfortable and no one drank too much or cursed or smoked. I knew we weren’t rich by any means, but my world was small and I had classmates and extended family who had none of these things. It wasn’t until college and professional life made me realize that no, I am not like the people in the UMC world I entered as an adult. It’s never been that overt, like wearing fatigues to a job interview, but I have been judged negatively by the parents of more than one boyfriend, and my approach to working world norms was more blue collar flavored.

Very interesting... what do you think parents of boyfriends judged you over? What could have been missing in your upbringing? It sounds very similar to a nice UMC upbringing to me.

Not this poster, but I had a similar experience. IN my case, I didn't know all of the personal grooming stuff that wealthy people seem to know. Had never had a manicure, had never had my eyebrows waxed. Now that I"m older, I"m finding that I don't know all the secrets that wealthy people know about things like Botox and fillers and chemical peels. Didn't know that making a big deal about furnishing your kids' dorm room was a thing.
There are so many things that I used to do that I didn't know were "trashy" until I started reading this forum, like serving pasta salad. Didn't know that pizza was considered junk food, or a pre-cooked chicken from Sam's Club. Who knew? I really messed up. I used to serve Oreo's on playdates and couldn't figure out why the desperate housewives of Vienna, VA blackballed me. Didn't know you were supposed to serve beer from a glass and not a bottle. PUt bumper stickers on my car. Had no idea that highlights in your hair were considered trashy. Failed miserably in hiring a decorator for our house. Unless you grow up UMC, I don't think you know these things.

.

I didn’t grow up UMC. I know all of those things. Just pay attention a little.

Blackballing someone because they tried to serve you Oreos is what's trashy, in my opinion. If being UMC means judging people for not doing Botox or not decorating their kids' dorm room or not hiring a decorator, screw that and all what it means.

Having "class" in my opinion means showing basic kindness and respect towards people and finding common ground with someone in any situation.

Maybe. But just like I wouldn’t buy a nerf gun for a kid’s bday party, I wouldn’t serve Oreos at a play date. It is important to know your audience.

This is probably the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever read on DCUM. The poor PPP, getting blackballed from play dates for serving Oreos instead of organic strawberries and avocado toast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m interested in class in my own life and the way it’s come up in subtle but insidious ways. Not obsessing over which vacations and kitchens and manicures make you seem upper class or upper middle class. I spent the first 18 years of my life feeling very privileged - ballet, sports, dressing like my peers, money to go to the movies and the prom. My dad wore a suit to work and our house was clean and comfortable and no one drank too much or cursed or smoked. I knew we weren’t rich by any means, but my world was small and I had classmates and extended family who had none of these things. It wasn’t until college and professional life made me realize that no, I am not like the people in the UMC world I entered as an adult. It’s never been that overt, like wearing fatigues to a job interview, but I have been judged negatively by the parents of more than one boyfriend, and my approach to working world norms was more blue collar flavored.

Very interesting... what do you think parents of boyfriends judged you over? What could have been missing in your upbringing? It sounds very similar to a nice UMC upbringing to me.

Not this poster, but I had a similar experience. IN my case, I didn't know all of the personal grooming stuff that wealthy people seem to know. Had never had a manicure, had never had my eyebrows waxed. Now that I"m older, I"m finding that I don't know all the secrets that wealthy people know about things like Botox and fillers and chemical peels. Didn't know that making a big deal about furnishing your kids' dorm room was a thing.
There are so many things that I used to do that I didn't know were "trashy" until I started reading this forum, like serving pasta salad. Didn't know that pizza was considered junk food, or a pre-cooked chicken from Sam's Club. Who knew? I really messed up. I used to serve Oreo's on playdates and couldn't figure out why the desperate housewives of Vienna, VA blackballed me. Didn't know you were supposed to serve beer from a glass and not a bottle. PUt bumper stickers on my car. Had no idea that highlights in your hair were considered trashy. Failed miserably in hiring a decorator for our house. Unless you grow up UMC, I don't think you know these things.

.

I didn’t grow up UMC. I know all of those things. Just pay attention a little.

Blackballing someone because they tried to serve you Oreos is what's trashy, in my opinion. If being UMC means judging people for not doing Botox or not decorating their kids' dorm room or not hiring a decorator, screw that and all what it means.

Having "class" in my opinion means showing basic kindness and respect towards people and finding common ground with someone in any situation.

Maybe. But just like I wouldn’t buy a nerf gun for a kid’s bday party, I wouldn’t serve Oreos at a play date. It is important to know your audience.

This is probably the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever read on DCUM. The poor PPP, getting blackballed from play dates for serving Oreos instead of organic strawberries and avocado toast.

These moms are serious! Take no prisoners!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't get this topic either until recently when I saw a mystery about an Indian young woman living in an arranged marriage and what it all entails. Not going to lie but I was shocked at what all was portrayed. Then I felt sorry for the ones here that post about not being in love, husband just flat out not caring, abusive, selfish. My ignorant self couldn't believe it all but now I do. Basically enslaved because the parents made the decision and since it was good enough for them it's good enough for their kids. And the lie goes on for generations.

Oh so very wrong. Life is to be enjoyed not worrying what others want have or think.

We are so much more than what we have, own, buy, show off.

When you finally reach that point where you remind yourself stuff doesn't matter, you can be very happy with life.

Your status in life means nothing if you are miserable. It's America. You are free to be you. FREE.

Everybody has stuff they chose or inherited, so it doesn’t do much good to preach about stuff. Also, you assume the upper class is judging everybody, but probably they don’t care about you and your stuff as much as you think.

+1

Inheriting something doesn't mean much, if anything, nowadays. ITA (and see every day, IRL) that the upper class could not care less about what lower class people and their minions are doing. It is the beauty of being upper class, doing what you want, when you want, with whom you want, on your own time. No time for gossip and lower class past times. In addition, treating people with kindness, respect and dignity. If you don't respect yourself, you can't respect other people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m interested in class in my own life and the way it’s come up in subtle but insidious ways. Not obsessing over which vacations and kitchens and manicures make you seem upper class or upper middle class. I spent the first 18 years of my life feeling very privileged - ballet, sports, dressing like my peers, money to go to the movies and the prom. My dad wore a suit to work and our house was clean and comfortable and no one drank too much or cursed or smoked. I knew we weren’t rich by any means, but my world was small and I had classmates and extended family who had none of these things. It wasn’t until college and professional life made me realize that no, I am not like the people in the UMC world I entered as an adult. It’s never been that overt, like wearing fatigues to a job interview, but I have been judged negatively by the parents of more than one boyfriend, and my approach to working world norms was more blue collar flavored.

Very interesting... what do you think parents of boyfriends judged you over? What could have been missing in your upbringing? It sounds very similar to a nice UMC upbringing to me.

Not this poster, but I had a similar experience. IN my case, I didn't know all of the personal grooming stuff that wealthy people seem to know. Had never had a manicure, had never had my eyebrows waxed. Now that I"m older, I"m finding that I don't know all the secrets that wealthy people know about things like Botox and fillers and chemical peels. Didn't know that making a big deal about furnishing your kids' dorm room was a thing.
There are so many things that I used to do that I didn't know were "trashy" until I started reading this forum, like serving pasta salad. Didn't know that pizza was considered junk food, or a pre-cooked chicken from Sam's Club. Who knew? I really messed up. I used to serve Oreo's on playdates and couldn't figure out why the desperate housewives of Vienna, VA blackballed me. Didn't know you were supposed to serve beer from a glass and not a bottle. PUt bumper stickers on my car. Had no idea that highlights in your hair were considered trashy. Failed miserably in hiring a decorator for our house. Unless you grow up UMC, I don't think you know these things.

.

I didn’t grow up UMC. I know all of those things. Just pay attention a little.

Blackballing someone because they tried to serve you Oreos is what's trashy, in my opinion. If being UMC means judging people for not doing Botox or not decorating their kids' dorm room or not hiring a decorator, screw that and all what it means.

Having "class" in my opinion means showing basic kindness and respect towards people and finding common ground with someone in any situation.

Maybe. But just like I wouldn’t buy a nerf gun for a kid’s bday party, I wouldn’t serve Oreos at a play date. It is important to know your audience.

This is probably the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever read on DCUM. The poor PPP, getting blackballed from play dates for serving Oreos instead of organic strawberries and avocado toast.

These moms are serious! Take no prisoners!

Lower class people will blackball anyone over anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m interested in class in my own life and the way it’s come up in subtle but insidious ways. Not obsessing over which vacations and kitchens and manicures make you seem upper class or upper middle class. I spent the first 18 years of my life feeling very privileged - ballet, sports, dressing like my peers, money to go to the movies and the prom. My dad wore a suit to work and our house was clean and comfortable and no one drank too much or cursed or smoked. I knew we weren’t rich by any means, but my world was small and I had classmates and extended family who had none of these things. It wasn’t until college and professional life made me realize that no, I am not like the people in the UMC world I entered as an adult. It’s never been that overt, like wearing fatigues to a job interview, but I have been judged negatively by the parents of more than one boyfriend, and my approach to working world norms was more blue collar flavored.

Very interesting... what do you think parents of boyfriends judged you over? What could have been missing in your upbringing? It sounds very similar to a nice UMC upbringing to me.

Not this poster, but I had a similar experience. IN my case, I didn't know all of the personal grooming stuff that wealthy people seem to know. Had never had a manicure, had never had my eyebrows waxed. Now that I"m older, I"m finding that I don't know all the secrets that wealthy people know about things like Botox and fillers and chemical peels. Didn't know that making a big deal about furnishing your kids' dorm room was a thing.
There are so many things that I used to do that I didn't know were "trashy" until I started reading this forum, like serving pasta salad. Didn't know that pizza was considered junk food, or a pre-cooked chicken from Sam's Club. Who knew? I really messed up. I used to serve Oreo's on playdates and couldn't figure out why the desperate housewives of Vienna, VA blackballed me. Didn't know you were supposed to serve beer from a glass and not a bottle. PUt bumper stickers on my car. Had no idea that highlights in your hair were considered trashy. Failed miserably in hiring a decorator for our house. Unless you grow up UMC, I don't think you know these things.

.

I didn’t grow up UMC. I know all of those things. Just pay attention a little.

DP. Or, instead of waiting several years until you have enough observations to understand something, take a short cut and ask DCUM anonymously. Nothing wrong with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m interested in class in my own life and the way it’s come up in subtle but insidious ways. Not obsessing over which vacations and kitchens and manicures make you seem upper class or upper middle class. I spent the first 18 years of my life feeling very privileged - ballet, sports, dressing like my peers, money to go to the movies and the prom. My dad wore a suit to work and our house was clean and comfortable and no one drank too much or cursed or smoked. I knew we weren’t rich by any means, but my world was small and I had classmates and extended family who had none of these things. It wasn’t until college and professional life made me realize that no, I am not like the people in the UMC world I entered as an adult. It’s never been that overt, like wearing fatigues to a job interview, but I have been judged negatively by the parents of more than one boyfriend, and my approach to working world norms was more blue collar flavored.

Very interesting... what do you think parents of boyfriends judged you over? What could have been missing in your upbringing? It sounds very similar to a nice UMC upbringing to me.

Not this poster, but I had a similar experience. IN my case, I didn't know all of the personal grooming stuff that wealthy people seem to know. Had never had a manicure, had never had my eyebrows waxed. Now that I"m older, I"m finding that I don't know all the secrets that wealthy people know about things like Botox and fillers and chemical peels. Didn't know that making a big deal about furnishing your kids' dorm room was a thing.
There are so many things that I used to do that I didn't know were "trashy" until I started reading this forum, like serving pasta salad. Didn't know that pizza was considered junk food, or a pre-cooked chicken from Sam's Club. Who knew? I really messed up. I used to serve Oreo's on playdates and couldn't figure out why the desperate housewives of Vienna, VA blackballed me. Didn't know you were supposed to serve beer from a glass and not a bottle. PUt bumper stickers on my car. Had no idea that highlights in your hair were considered trashy. Failed miserably in hiring a decorator for our house. Unless you grow up UMC, I don't think you know these things.

.

I didn’t grow up UMC. I know all of those things. Just pay attention a little.

Blackballing someone because they tried to serve you Oreos is what's trashy, in my opinion. If being UMC means judging people for not doing Botox or not decorating their kids' dorm room or not hiring a decorator, screw that and all what it means.

Having "class" in my opinion means showing basic kindness and respect towards people and finding common ground with someone in any situation.

Maybe. But just like I wouldn’t buy a nerf gun for a kid’s bday party, I wouldn’t serve Oreos at a play date. It is important to know your audience.

This is probably the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever read on DCUM. The poor PPP, getting blackballed from play dates for serving Oreos instead of organic strawberries and avocado toast.

These moms are serious! Take no prisoners!

Lower class people will blackball anyone over anything.

Yeah, blackballing a woman over Oreos seems like the most classless, insecure thing a person could possibly do.

[Anonymous]

I’m the PP of the “subtle but insidious” post. It’s been common in my life for the families of friends and significant others to use “what do your parents do?” as an introductory conversation opener. Well, my dad worked in banking - as a retail branch manager, among other things. I think they expected something more prestigious, like investment banking. My mom didn’t attend college and worked secretarial jobs. I went to a state school. For the parents of a high school boyfriend, I was considered lesser-than because of said jobs as well as living in a 1950’s ranch and not the more stately homes (but not mansions, just larger with more curb appeal) on the other side of town. My parents are hardworking and frugal and put a lot of resources into allowing me to try different activities.

The UMC parents of my friends were obsessed with talking about where so-and-so went to college and career paths.