Reply to S/O The obsession with class/tackiness/social standing

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m interested in class in my own life and the way it’s come up in subtle but insidious ways. Not obsessing over which vacations and kitchens and manicures make you seem upper class or upper middle class. I spent the first 18 years of my life feeling very privileged - ballet, sports, dressing like my peers, money to go to the movies and the prom. My dad wore a suit to work and our house was clean and comfortable and no one drank too much or cursed or smoked. I knew we weren’t rich by any means, but my world was small and I had classmates and extended family who had none of these things. It wasn’t until college and professional life made me realize that no, I am not like the people in the UMC world I entered as an adult. [b]It’s never been that overt, like wearing fatigues to a job interview, but I have been judged negatively by the parents of more than one boyfriend, and my approach to working world norms was more blue collar flavored.[/b] [/quote]

Very interesting... what do you think parents of boyfriends judged you over?  What could have been missing in your upbringing?  It sounds very similar to a nice UMC upbringing to me.[/quote]

Not this poster, but I had a similar experience.  IN my case, I didn't know all of the personal grooming stuff that wealthy people seem to know.  Had never had a manicure, had never had my eyebrows waxed.  Now that I"m older, I"m finding that I don't know all the secrets that wealthy people know about things like Botox and fillers and chemical peels.  Didn't know that making a big deal about furnishing your kids' dorm room was a thing.  
There are so many things that I used to do that I didn't know were "trashy" until I started reading this forum, like serving pasta salad.  Didn't know that pizza was considered junk food, or a pre-cooked chicken from Sam's Club.  Who knew?  I really messed up.  I used to serve Oreo's on playdates and couldn't figure out why the desperate housewives of Vienna, VA blackballed me.  Didn't know you were supposed to serve beer from a glass and not a bottle.  PUt bumper stickers on my car.  Had no idea that highlights in your hair were considered trashy.  Failed miserably in hiring a decorator for our house.  Unless you grow up UMC, I don't think you know these things.  [/quote].

I didn’t grow up UMC. I know all of those things. Just pay attention a little. [/quote]

Blackballing someone because they tried to serve you Oreos is what's trashy, in my opinion.  If being UMC means judging people for not doing Botox or not decorating their kids' dorm room or not hiring a decorator, screw that and all what it means.

Having "class" in my opinion means showing basic kindness and respect towards people and finding common ground with someone in any situation.[/quote]

Maybe. But just like I wouldn’t buy a nerf gun for a kid’s bday party, I wouldn’t serve Oreos at a play date. It is important to know your audience. [/quote]

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