Police came saying they have a CPS report on me

[Anonymous]

So yeah will there be some sort of public record (pretty sure they will find that there is no case)
And how soon and in what manner can I change the counselor for him. I intend him to see someone just not the same one.

[Anonymous]

Something is off about this. I called CPS, at the behest of my therapist who told me I was a bad mom if I don't inquire, to ask if slapping is reportable. They said no. They said unless there are other markers of abuse that are visible, they don't open an investigation. This was in DC. My DC reports their dad slaps them and spanks them and when I expressed concern to my therapist she made me call CPS to inquire about it. So where is that you live that this happened?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry hit submit too soon- how do I change counselor for him without it looking suspicious. So far I didn’t see any positive effect anyway.

Does your kid like talking with this counselor? Because that’s what’s important—not that you personally like her.

He says she is ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Something is off about this. I called CPS, at the behest of my therapist who told me I was a bad mom if I don't inquire, to ask if slapping is reportable. They said no. They said unless there are other markers of abuse that are visible, they don't open an investigation. This was in DC. My DC reports their dad slaps them and spanks them and when I expressed concern to my therapist she made me call CPS to inquire about it. So where is that you live that this happened?

Not in the DMV area.
But I swear what I wrote is true.
No there were no marks! I swear it wasn’t a hard blow or anything.

And no I don’t blame my kid. I told him wheneverhe says “slap” they have to come and see if I treat him right. And that I was worried that they would take him away if they think I didn’t. I actually had to assure him it was not his fault and that he is free to say whatever as long as it is the truth.

[Anonymous]

My observation, OP, is that you need some help for yourself. Based on how you are so attentive to this thread, commenting back to every post, and almost immediately, you have impulse control issues which are obvious on this board and manifested themselves in a slap (to what severity, we cannot be sure as we only have your side of the story) to your son.

Kids are kids. He was reading a book and to use your words, "He already had an hour and a half to irritate me," I think you have some anger issues. Maybe your son does, too, if he's been observing you and might be mimicking your behaviors.

We all have times when we get angry or upset with our kids. But the difference is that most of us are able to control those impulses and you did not in the instance of the slap. You need professional help. The counselors and authorities did their jobs. You now need to find someone who can do theirs and help you, just as those other people who were trying to protect your son did theirs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has to be made up. The police don't go out for light slapping/no marks. CPS might investigate but not the police.

Yes, and all of this supposedly happened on the same day—he had a session, the incident was reported, the police went to the wrong house, the call from the wrong house came, then the police (not CPS) showed up. I don’t buy it.

As a mandated reporter I have made dozens of reports to CPS. You provide CPS with a description of the allegations, name of the alleged abuser, contact info, etc. If a school counselor made a report to CPS they would have provided your address that was on record at the school. The police would not be involved in an invesitgation and would not just "look up" your address. Additionally, CPS would have interviewed your child also. There is no way this all occurred in the same day for a slap.

After the fake thread was revealed in Health & Medicine yesterday, I wonder if this is the same poster.

Which thread was that?

Jeff said this other thread was started by someone who started a lot of different threads recently with conflicting info and rampant sockpuppeting. Just skeptical of a lot of these threads that seemed designed to make everyone concerned and get lots of responses.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/787407.page

[Anonymous]

Don’t hit your child. Telling your child that he can’t share with a counselor makes me suspicious. Your child should be able to share everything with a counselor or therapist. It is meant to be a safe space. When your child tells an adult that he is not allowed to talk about what goes on at home, that is a huge red flag.

[Anonymous]

This has to be a troll post. "OMG CPS was called, sure I hit my kid, but it's NBD! It's his fault anyway!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t hit your child. Telling your child that he can’t share with a counselor makes me suspicious. Your child should be able to share everything with a counselor or therapist. It is meant to be a safe space. When your child tells an adult that he is not allowed to talk about what goes on at home, that is a huge red flag.

I never told him that. If I had smth to hide I would not have asked for counseling for him.
I said he can say what he wants as long as it is truthful.

[Anonymous]

Of course I follow this obsessively; you all would if you had an evening like I did.

[Anonymous]

Ok thanks everyone.
I may not be checking in as much anymore, but thanks for the opportunity to talk it over.
I hope you all never encounter anything like this.

[Anonymous]

Troll.

[Anonymous]

OP- it does sound like you smacked your kid, but didn't harm him.

I don't know what he sees the counselor for, but he sounds impulsive and angry-- mine reacts far out of proportion to minor events too and it can be really upsetting. This is especially true if you have your own life stress.

It's unfortunate that he told the counselor because it sounds like you were both highly impulsive but I wouldn't (personally) classify this as abuse, considering that you didn't hurt your DS and you had no intentions of hurting him...but maybe, it's a wakeup call that things need to change.

With my son, I've gotten a better handle over the years. Right now (he's in MS), I simply issue the consequences. I also make room for his slow processing speed by giving an instruction and learning to wait (this is hard for me) for him to respond vs. imagining that he's deliberately ignoring me.

When your DS lashes out in anger like that, you are going to have to step back...don't react at all until everything is calm, then issue the consequences. There is no reaction, except no reaction, that will work in those circumstances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has to be made up. The police don't go out for light slapping/no marks. CPS might investigate but not the police.

Yes, and all of this supposedly happened on the same day—he had a session, the incident was reported, the police went to the wrong house, the call from the wrong house came, then the police (not CPS) showed up. I don’t buy it.

As a mandated reporter I have made dozens of reports to CPS. You provide CPS with a description of the allegations, name of the alleged abuser, contact info, etc. If a school counselor made a report to CPS they would have provided your address that was on record at the school. The police would not be involved in an invesitgation and would not just "look up" your address. Additionally, CPS would have interviewed your child also. There is no way this all occurred in the same day for a slap.

After the fake thread was revealed in Health & Medicine yesterday, I wonder if this is the same poster.

Which thread was that?

Jeff said this other thread was started by someone who started a lot of different threads recently with conflicting info and rampant sockpuppeting. Just skeptical of a lot of these threads that seemed designed to make everyone concerned and get lots of responses.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/787407.page

PP again. Something that was noted in the other thread was that OP will casually mention details like oh, I just came back from India and I may be pregnant and I have a fever that could be typhoid, and so does my 3yo. This thread also casually mentions alarming details like "light slap" etc., which makes my BS detector go off.

[Anonymous]

Maybe it wasnt cps but some local agency that is more likely to respond quickly.