Very upset with DH... am I right to be?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I personally think manicures, pedicures, and massages are frivolous. I think going out with friends is only slightly frivolous, especially if you are watching what you order. He should clear this stuff with you if money is that tight. But also you need to offload that property. Price it to sell.

I agree with you and that is why I have no problem cutting them, but I was doing some of that before and I do enjoy it. It relaxes me and helps with some water retention that I have during pregnancy. He did not however choose a cheap bar where he could have some beers. He did this (and ldunnersband more) 8 times (I counted) since the beginning of December. Yesterday they went to a fancy hotel bar where each fancy drink costs $15 (that is what he said... it might be more). It’s inconsiderate and embarassing. My dad asked me if DH was drunk because he came home speaking weird and fell asleep on the couch at 6:30 pm with kids playing a screaming around. It was obvious. My mom knows everything and I think this was a big mistake I made. She saw me crying and came to my room and I let it slip about the money stuff. Of course now my parents are worried. I wish this had happened when my parents were not around, but DH should have thought about it twice before coming home drunk while my parents are here. Ther was no way for me to protect him once he showed up at home.

We had a phone call meeting at 5 with our accountant. And DH has numbers, etc. I couldn’t do it alone (had I known he was going to come home 1 hour + the tim hee promised, I would have gotten the number called the accountant myself... anyway. I am still very upset and so are my parents unfortunately... DH is acting as if nothing hapoened

[Anonymous]

Spilling to your parents about your money worries when your DH is the sole / main breadwinner is a really low blow.

That is like a DH complaining to his parents about how his kids are being raised when his wife is the main one raising the kids.

You guys have bigger marital issues than him going out to drink today. There is bitterness and resentment growing on both sides, poor communication, and you've involved other people and he is avoiding.

You need to do some serious work on your marriage before you are dealing with the sleep deprivation and stress of a newborn.

[Anonymous]

I don’t get these responses. OP, you need to separate the issues in your own head and approach him.

As far as money, get on the same page with your DH about your budget and expenses. Express to him what you expressed here, and be prepared to hear his feedback. If it means both of you get to spend more, okay. If it means he cuts back, then he needs to stick to it. I assume if he had gone out with friends and spent $10, you wouldn’t bad as upset as you are here. It doesn’t matter if DCUM thinks you can’t afford a third kid, or if manicures are not worth it vs. paying for a social life. YOU might find great rejuvenation in getting a mani, and the rest of us don’t. It’s all noise, because what matters here is personal spending money, and what you and your husband can agree on.

As far as him spending more time with you, discuss that separately. Et cetera.

If you find that he doesn’t want to discuss these things, gets angry with you, or lies and agrees to stuff but does he wants any, you have much, much bigger marital issues.

[Anonymous]

"too drunk" and he spent 50 on drinks? How does he get drunk on that. That is only a couple of drinks. I think you are exaggerating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"too drunk" and he spent 50 on drinks? How does he get drunk on that. That is only a couple of drinks. I think you are exaggerating.

OP here. He had drinks at the restaurant right before. $50 was just at the fancy hotel bar. Anyway, he was very drunk. Told me he had no memory of getting home and one of his buddy that was there last night texted him asking if he made it home ok. He rented a bike... crazy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"too drunk" and he spent 50 on drinks? How does he get drunk on that. That is only a couple of drinks. I think you are exaggerating.

OP here. He had drinks at the restaurant right before. $50 was just at the fancy hotel bar. Anyway, he was very drunk. Told me he had no memory of getting home and one of his buddy that was there last night texted him asking if he made it home ok. He rented a bike... crazy

I know my husband and he was obviously wasted. He admitted so himself today

[Anonymous]

If the drinks were $15 a piece or more, he did not drink that much.

He should be checked for diabetes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the drinks were $15 a piece or more, he did not drink that much.

He should be checked for diabetes.

Again, he had drinks at the restaurant during lunch. Why are people questioning whether he was drunk or not. There is no doubt about it. DH admits so himself. This is not up for debate

[Anonymous]

$80 spent. $30 at the restaurant with lunch. Then $50 at the place with drinks $15+ a piece. Tip?

If blood sugar levels are out of wack he could appear and feel like he was very drunk.

[Anonymous]

Women, stop having more babies when you already KNOW there are issues!!! I could write this on 5 threads a day!