Very upset with DH... am I right to be?

[Anonymous]

Wait, you don't work and you are begrudging him a little luxury? Do you get paid for your righting?

[Anonymous]

Writing

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks everyone. I just feel that I am watching every $ I spend... literally. I know that DH is not like me (probably not many people are), but I feel that $80 today after being out doing similar things (hopefully spending less) at least 5 times in the past 2 weeks is just a slap in my face. He could have had 1 beer with his friends, he could have come home to spend time with me (we would have been alone since my parents took the kids he whole day); he could have drank less... anyway... I think it was very disrespectful to our family and embarassing for everyone and my parents (that don’t drink/ are foreigners)...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Writing

Yes, though not much. I do research as a consultant

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he overwhelmed with money being so tight and a third child on the way?

Not an excuse.

Actually it is. Especially since it’s her property and I assume he had to say in having a third child.

Nope, unless you're an idiot. As it appears you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Writing

Yes, though not much. I do research as a consultant

He makes ire than i do (much more), but I am also a lot younger and used to bring home quite a bit thanks to the property I own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks everyone. I just feel that I am watching every $ I spend... literally. I know that DH is not like me (probably not many people are), but I feel that $80 today after being out doing similar things (hopefully spending less) at least 5 times in the past 2 weeks is just a slap in my face. He could have had 1 beer with his friends, he could have come home to spend time with me (we would have been alone since my parents took the kids he whole day); he could have drank less... anyway... I think it was very disrespectful to our family and embarassing for everyone and my parents (that don’t drink/ are foreigners)...

You think that because you're on DCUM where people are wealthy enough not to count pennies. But my husband and I count pennies. It's the reality for most people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks everyone. I just feel that I am watching every $ I spend... literally. I know that DH is not like me (probably not many people are), but I feel that $80 today after being out doing similar things (hopefully spending less) at least 5 times in the past 2 weeks is just a slap in my face. He could have had 1 beer with his friends, he could have come home to spend time with me (we would have been alone since my parents took the kids he whole day); he could have drank less... anyway... I think it was very disrespectful to our family and embarassing for everyone and my parents (that don’t drink/ are foreigners)...

You think that because you're on DCUM where people are wealthy enough not to count pennies. But my husband and I count pennies. It's the reality for most people.

I guess just not for my husband and his/our friends

[Anonymous]

Man here. Here's how I'd think about it:

- Drinks with friends = maintaining social life. He's not craving a particular cocktail, he's craving meeting his friends.
- Manicure = no benefits other than teh manicure iteself. It's not necessary to keep up a social life,etc.

Also sleeping on the couch over this? Lord help him if he does something actually bad -- you'll have him sleeping on a park bench!

[Anonymous]

You say that he does not have an easy job, and this is kind of the down time for him. He brings in the bulk of the family income at this time. He may feel you do not respect him. That you do not respect how hard he works to help support his family. That after all his hard work, he is not allowed a bit of leisure.

Things are stressful right now. Both of you need to be building each other up, and being supportive of each other. You are focused on the negatives of the past few weeks, and finding faults. For every fault you have listed, take some time to list a strength or positive thing about him.

You mentioned earlier not having any control over him. It is not about control. Start working as a team.

[Anonymous]

Is he paying for maintenance/ bills on your property? He shouldn't be. If he is, I can see where he might be passive aggressive, although he should be an adult and just discuss it/ refuse to contribute further.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man here. Here's how I'd think about it:

- Drinks with friends = maintaining social life. He's not craving a particular cocktail, he's craving meeting his friends.
- Manicure = no benefits other than teh manicure iteself. It's not necessary to keep up a social life,etc.

Also sleeping on the couch over this? Lord help him if he does something actually bad -- you'll have him sleeping on a park bench!

So they can buy a few six packs and drink in someone’s living room. No need to go to an expensive bar and spend $80 per person.

[Anonymous]

There’s a lot you’re upset about. It’s not just the money as you’re now bringing in a lot of unrelated complaints.

Why don’t you just rent the property again, immediately, if it was making you so much income before? You say it was profitable but yet you wanted to sell it for a “better” investment which doesn’t really all add up (quite literally).

Sounds like DH just went along with it and doesn’t really care because he sees the situation as temporary - and if he makes the bulk of the income he probably feels entitled to spend $80 here or there (and probably wouldn’t care if you got a manicure either). Frankly, he’s probably tired of the martyr act.

[Anonymous]

Yes, if my husband came home drunk at 6pm on a Friday when my parents were in town and had caused us to miss an event at 5pm, I'd be angry. If he spent money we didn't have to get drunk, I'd be even more angry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he overwhelmed with money being so tight and a third child on the way?

Not an excuse.

Actually it is. Especially since it’s her property and I assume he had to say in having a third child.

She’s growing that as$holes baby and has two other kids at home. He should be saving any extra money to use for things needed for his kids and wife. He is not acting like a decent man and he has no right to be ‘overwhelmed’ when he’s not the one who is 30 weeks pregnant. Self centered dufous!! I hope he grows up, OP.