Minor rant: in Europe with completely useless in laws and a toddler

[Anonymous]

This entire trip sounds like the plot of a hilarious movie! And one that I would gladly pay to see. What were you thinking OP? This trip was bound to be a disaster with the two year old alone, let alone the in laws. You have my sincerest sympathies. Oh my.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This entire trip sounds like the plot of a hilarious movie! And one that I would gladly pay to see. What were you thinking OP? This trip was bound to be a disaster with the two year old alone, let alone the in laws. You have my sincerest sympathies. Oh my.

Oh we travel with her all the time. We took her to Scandinavia when she was 9 months old and had a blast. The addition of the in laws was DH’s idea and I didn’t want to stand in the way of him helping his parents do this, so I helped plan the itinerary based on what they said they wanted to do. As the most seasoned traveler of the group, the leadership has fallen to me. I just have never had to plan for two senior citizens who are completely dependent on me.

[Anonymous]

OP, I sympathize. I've traveled pretty extensively and the bottom line is some people are just hard to travel with, no matter how close you're to them normally. And no good deeds go unpunished, especially if you're the trip planner/leader. I've gone on some meticulously planned group trips and seen how nitpicky and complaining some grown ups can be.

I like planning trips myself, but will only do that with my immediate family. I won't even take my own parents, b/c of our vastly different traveling styles. Thankfully for their first Europe trip my parents booked themselves a tour group and went with some of their peers. And they enjoyed it, and I enjoyed talking to them about it. If we'd gone together I know for sure we'd hate each other by week's end. Your ILs are not bad people. You're not bad people. It's just that some people become absolute dead weights on travel and you've got your hands full.

[Anonymous]

Ugh this is why people shouldn't put off going overseas until they're retired. They just can't do it. I've seen this play out so often in European countries and on international flights.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh this is why people shouldn't put off going overseas until they're retired. They just can't do it. I've seen this play out so often in European countries and on international flights.

I know, right!? I can't imagine what prevents people from travelling overseas until they've retired.

[Anonymous]

I hear you. We moved to London a year ago and have done some travel with my in-laws and my parents. Neither are experienced travelers (at all!) and it’s draining. They don’t complain about things like a lack of ice, thankfully.

[Anonymous]

Can you and DH divide and conquer for a day? You with DC, DH with ILs? Or can you arrange for them to take a [group] day trip to Bath or Cambridge or Oxford?

[Anonymous]

Why are you trying to take buses with a baby and an elderly couple? Is this some sort of budget trip? That’s your first problem right there. Loosen the purse springs and spring for a taxi and other small luxuries and things will go better. You won’t be trying to find the bus stop while your in laws watch you and try to prevent your kid from running into traffic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One week into a two week trip to London and Rome with DH, his parents, and our 2 year old. We knew his parents hadn’t gone abroad before and spent their lives in the suburbs, but weren’t expecting them to be as useless as they are in helping with navigating or with the toddler. Example: DH had to do some work, so he stayed back at the hotel and the rest of us went out. I got a little turned around trying to find our bus stop and they literally just stood there saying and doing nothing while I tried to figure out where we needed to go. If DD is having a tantrum about something, they will also just stand and offer no assistance whatsoever.

They offered to babysit, which was great, but only did it if DH figured out how they could watch their TV shows on his laptop. MIL is also constantly complaining about the lack of ice in her drinks. This has become a huge issue.

Anyway, I know things could be much worse, but it’s frustrating feeling like we’re their tour operators.

American Privilege shows

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you trying to take buses with a baby and an elderly couple? Is this some sort of budget trip? That’s your first problem right there. Loosen the purse springs and spring for a taxi and other small luxuries and things will go better. You won’t be trying to find the bus stop while your in laws watch you and try to prevent your kid from running into traffic.

PS, that kind of travel might have worked on your study abroad, but you’re not in college anymore. If you’re the group leader, then you need to make reasonable arrangements for your group.

[Anonymous]

"Anyway, I know things could be much worse, but it’s frustrating feeling like we’re their tour operators." That is exactly what you signed on for. Stop bitching and moaning about your decisions. Grow up and stop whining, for Pete's sake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you trying to take buses with a baby and an elderly couple? Is this some sort of budget trip? That’s your first problem right there. Loosen the purse springs and spring for a taxi and other small luxuries and things will go better. You won’t be trying to find the bus stop while your in laws watch you and try to prevent your kid from running into traffic.

PS, that kind of travel might have worked on your study abroad, but you’re not in college anymore. If you’re the group leader, then you need to make reasonable arrangements for your group.

My kid is 2. We can’t do a taxi because they don’t have car seats. We are staying at a nice hotel in Kensington. This isn’t a budget trip, but we have to make some adjustments for the fact that we have a toddler.

[Anonymous]

I feel you, OP. I was the default leader on our extended family trip to Ireland. My Dad & stepmom were functionally illiterate when it came to navigating the emerald isle. They had done no advance planning, didn't read a guidebook - nothing. Exchanged money at the airport instead of getting cash at an ATM. I'd booked everything and they followed me like toddlers. It was a big eye-opener. BUT - I'm still glad I did it because Dad died a few years ago and even though he was driving me crazy that day, I think fondly on the memory.

Now that you've had this experience, you know what dealing with his parents when they're really elderly is going to be like. Total dependence, but sometimes mixed with a dose of resentment and belligerence.

So - make the best of it. Treat it like the last time they'll ever go to Europe, because it likely is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you trying to take buses with a baby and an elderly couple? Is this some sort of budget trip? That’s your first problem right there. Loosen the purse springs and spring for a taxi and other small luxuries and things will go better. You won’t be trying to find the bus stop while your in laws watch you and try to prevent your kid from running into traffic.

PS, that kind of travel might have worked on your study abroad, but you’re not in college anymore. If you’re the group leader, then you need to make reasonable arrangements for your group.

My kid is 2. We can’t do a taxi because they don’t have car seats. We are staying at a nice hotel in Kensington. This isn’t a budget trip, but we have to make some adjustments for the fact that we have a toddler.

No car seat needed for travel in licensed taxis or mini cabs. Do your research.

https://www.gov.uk/child-car-seats-the-rules/when-a-child-can-travel-without-a-car-seat

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel you, OP. I was the default leader on our extended family trip to Ireland. My Dad & stepmom were functionally illiterate when it came to navigating the emerald isle. They had done no advance planning, didn't read a guidebook - nothing. Exchanged money at the airport instead of getting cash at an ATM. I'd booked everything and they followed me like toddlers. It was a big eye-opener. BUT - I'm still glad I did it because Dad died a few years ago and even though he was driving me crazy that day, I think fondly on the memory.

Now that you've had this experience, you know what dealing with his parents when they're really elderly is going to be like. Total dependence, but sometimes mixed with a dose of resentment and belligerence.

So - make the best of it. Treat it like the last time they'll ever go to Europe, because it likely is.

You’re right. I’ll try to make the best of it. Part of the surprise comes from the fact that I’m just not used to it. My parents are only 2 years younger than his, but they take themselves everywhere. They hike throughout Canada and the US and have been all over Europe. They couldn’t be more different than his parents, so it’s taken some adjustment.