Telling guests to clean up after themselves

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he only left a napkin on the table, who cleared off the rest of his dishes?

DH took care of the paper plate with pizza crusts on it. The dude was way better when he visited with his wife, but the wife is deployed now and it is clear that she took care of the kid and HIM. No wonder she comtemplated divorcing him.

O.k. the napkin was an oversight. Your husband simply forgot to clear it.

I think you are being a bit ridiculous. If your husband is willingly picking up after this guy, that is totally your husband's business and certainly he is allowed to do that. If he forgot the damn napkin, so what? Either tell your dh that he forgot the napkin or pick it up and toss it in the trash.

Going to that guy's room, knocking on his door and demanding that he come out and clear off the napkin was an overreaction on your part. You seriously need to chill out.

I don't touch other people's napkins for hygiene reasons.

Use.A.Paper.Towel. Seriously, it's not that hard. And you know it's not that hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So he’s not a guest, he’s a short term roommate and family. Set up house rules/cleaning expectations/cooking schedule. Don’t let things fester for so long that you go ballistic about a napkin. It makes you seem completely unstable and bitchy. You acted like you had a dinner guest who lefts napkin behind. The full story would have been helpful.

The napkin was the last straw. Because he just left the table in front of me. Since he's been here, the floor has become extra dirty and the entire kitchen looks like the Tasmanian Devil went through it.

Exactly! You should have set ground rules from the get go. You have been using the passive aggressive route until you explode over a napkin.

Leave the house and reassess when you get home.

Seriously, someone has to set ground rules for an adult? The person is old enough to be a decent human being.

For a long term house “guest”, yes! I’m sure he doesn’t feel comfortable cooking, cleaning, and generally making himself at home. Had you set up expectations at the beginning of the visit you wouldn’t be losing your shit over a napkin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So he’s not a guest, he’s a short term roommate and family. Set up house rules/cleaning expectations/cooking schedule. Don’t let things fester for so long that you go ballistic about a napkin. It makes you seem completely unstable and bitchy. You acted like you had a dinner guest who lefts napkin behind. The full story would have been helpful.

The napkin was the last straw. Because he just left the table in front of me. Since he's been here, the floor has become extra dirty and the entire kitchen looks like the Tasmanian Devil went through it.

Exactly! You should have set ground rules from the get go. You have been using the passive aggressive route until you explode over a napkin.

Leave the house and reassess when you get home.

Seriously, someone has to set ground rules for an adult? The person is old enough to be a decent human being.

For a long term house “guest”, yes! I’m sure he doesn’t feel comfortable cooking, cleaning, and generally making himself at home. Had you set up expectations at the beginning of the visit you wouldn’t be losing your shit over a napkin.

I wanted to but DH told me "Don't do that. It'll make him uncomfortable." No shit, because the dude is hopeless.

[Anonymous]

Your DH definitely is a doormat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your DH definitely is a doormat.

So Op's dh can cook and clean up after this guy.

Op, I think that you have two problems going on. #1 You aren't really a natural hostess. You host because you have to, not because you truly enjoy it. and #2 You have an inconsiderate house guest.

Just know this about yourself and about this situation in particular. Your husband needs to take the burden of hosting this guy off of you.

[Anonymous]

Simple solution: tell your guests upfront that you’re OCD, a germaphobe and bipolar. They’ll bus their dishes and give you a wide berth. Probably won’t be back soon either! Ps you’re a peach!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your DH definitely is a doormat.

So Op's dh can cook and clean up after this guy.

Op, I think that you have two problems going on. #1 You aren't really a natural hostess. You host because you have to, not because you truly enjoy it. and #2 You have an inconsiderate house guest.

Just know this about yourself and about this situation in particular. Your husband needs to take the burden of hosting this guy off of you.

Point #1 describes a ton of people on DCUM. That is why people let off steam here. Duh!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Simple solution: tell your guests upfront that you’re OCD, a germaphobe and bipolar. They’ll bus their dishes and give you a wide berth. Probably won’t be back soon either! Ps you’re a peach!

I don't have bipolar. What the hell would make you think that? I wish I could feel high. I generally don't.

[Anonymous]

An adult cleared his plate and leftover food but you chased him down to a bedroom to make him come back for a napkin? Wow, you win the nasty award!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your DH definitely is a doormat.

So Op's dh can cook and clean up after this guy.

Op, I think that you have two problems going on. #1 You aren't really a natural hostess. You host because you have to, not because you truly enjoy it. and #2 You have an inconsiderate house guest.

Just know this about yourself and about this situation in particular. Your husband needs to take the burden of hosting this guy off of you.

Point #1 describes a ton of people on DCUM. That is why people let off steam here. Duh!

Well, yes. It is not uncommon for a person to not be a natural, bubbly, warm host type who loves cooking, cleaning and picking up after their guests. Most guests understand that their hosts are not their own personal indentured servants so they are considerate and help out where they can.

But occasionally you'll get a less than gracious host combined with an inconsiderate guest and one dirty napkin later that is when all heck starts to break loose in DCUMVILLE.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:An adult cleared his plate and leftover food but you chased him down to a bedroom to make him come back for a napkin? Wow, you win the nasty award!!

Correction. Op clearly stated that the guest made numerous messes in the kitchen before standing up from the table and walking away. Op's husband cleared the guest's plate and utensils but left the dirty napkin laying there. Fed up about the messy kitchen and the guest not picking up after himself, Op went to his room, knocked on the door and told the host to clear his @#$%^&& napkin off the table.

[Anonymous]

^told the guest

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get some bussing trays and put it on a counter near the sink...Label it as food, plates, silverware, trash etc. Announce to everyone on the table that you have put bussing trays on the counter for people to put their dirty dishes etc there. If you have a space, they will use it. However, people are dumb and they will not seperate even if you have the trays.

Just remind them often OP. They will get the message. Guests who leave their s%^ around are my pet peeve too.

Totally OT, but does anyone actually use these? We do NOT have an open floor plan and it takes my 7 year old forever to clear the table (her job). I know you were kidding PP but I actually might get one o fthese...

We collect the dirty dishes in dishpans after eating to take to the sink. Dishpans are deeper and come in colors that don't look so institutional.

[Anonymous]

Damn. OP, you need psychiatric help. And probably meds. You are nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your DH definitely is a doormat.

So Op's dh can cook and clean up after this guy.

Op, I think that you have two problems going on. #1 You aren't really a natural hostess. You host because you have to, not because you truly enjoy it. and #2 You have an inconsiderate house guest.

Just know this about yourself and about this situation in particular. Your husband needs to take the burden of hosting this guy off of you.

Point #1 describes a ton of people on DCUM. That is why people let off steam here. Duh!

Well, yes. It is not uncommon for a person to not be a natural, bubbly, warm host type who loves cooking, cleaning and picking up after their guests. Most guests understand that their hosts are not their own personal indentured servants so they are considerate and help out where they can.

But occasionally you'll get a less than gracious host combined with an inconsiderate guest and one dirty napkin later that is when all heck starts to break loose in DCUMVILLE.

How is OP less than gracious? From what I've read, this person is the one who needs to get his manners together.