Telling guests to clean up after themselves

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Damn. OP, you need psychiatric help. And probably meds. You are nuts.

I don't like to feel used. Sorry PP if I offend you.

[Anonymous]

She isn't nuts. Who the hell wants to clean up after another grown adult all the time?

The guy sounds like an awful house guest and if he is going to be there longer than a few days, Op's husband is either going to need to step up and clean up after this guy or hire a maid or talk to this guy and tell him that he needs to pick up after himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your DH definitely is a doormat.

So Op's dh can cook and clean up after this guy.

Op, I think that you have two problems going on. #1 You aren't really a natural hostess. You host because you have to, not because you truly enjoy it. and #2 You have an inconsiderate house guest.

Just know this about yourself and about this situation in particular. Your husband needs to take the burden of hosting this guy off of you.

Point #1 describes a ton of people on DCUM. That is why people let off steam here. Duh!

Well, yes. It is not uncommon for a person to not be a natural, bubbly, warm host type who loves cooking, cleaning and picking up after their guests. Most guests understand that their hosts are not their own personal indentured servants so they are considerate and help out where they can.

But occasionally you'll get a less than gracious host combined with an inconsiderate guest and one dirty napkin later that is when all heck starts to break loose in DCUMVILLE.

How is OP less than gracious? From what I've read, this person is the one who needs to get his manners together.

Stewing and pounding on the guy's door over the napkin.....a natural host would never be so unpleasant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your DH definitely is a doormat.

So Op's dh can cook and clean up after this guy.

Op, I think that you have two problems going on. #1 You aren't really a natural hostess. You host because you have to, not because you truly enjoy it. and #2 You have an inconsiderate house guest.

Just know this about yourself and about this situation in particular. Your husband needs to take the burden of hosting this guy off of you.

Point #1 describes a ton of people on DCUM. That is why people let off steam here. Duh!

Well, yes. It is not uncommon for a person to not be a natural, bubbly, warm host type who loves cooking, cleaning and picking up after their guests. Most guests understand that their hosts are not their own personal indentured servants so they are considerate and help out where they can.

But occasionally you'll get a less than gracious host combined with an inconsiderate guest and one dirty napkin later that is when all heck starts to break loose in DCUMVILLE.

How is OP less than gracious? From what I've read, this person is the one who needs to get his manners together.

Stewing and pounding on the guy's door over the napkin.....a natural host would never be so unpleasant.

Unpleasant guests need a taste of their own bitter medicine. You guys sound like you would take whatever bad behavior thrown at you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So bring the garbage can out and put it where they can see it or walk around and the table and ask them to deposit their trash in there. They might not know where it goes or you might be blocking it while doing other kitchen chores for example.

Yeh right. These “guests” are self centered slobs. Don’t host them again and certainly not for more than a day or two. And I wouldn’t take off work to pamper them whatsoever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your DH definitely is a doormat.

So Op's dh can cook and clean up after this guy.

Op, I think that you have two problems going on. #1 You aren't really a natural hostess. You host because you have to, not because you truly enjoy it. and #2 You have an inconsiderate house guest.

Just know this about yourself and about this situation in particular. Your husband needs to take the burden of hosting this guy off of you.

Point #1 describes a ton of people on DCUM. That is why people let off steam here. Duh!

Well, yes. It is not uncommon for a person to not be a natural, bubbly, warm host type who loves cooking, cleaning and picking up after their guests. Most guests understand that their hosts are not their own personal indentured servants so they are considerate and help out where they can.

But occasionally you'll get a less than gracious host combined with an inconsiderate guest and one dirty napkin later that is when all heck starts to break loose in DCUMVILLE.

How is OP less than gracious? From what I've read, this person is the one who needs to get his manners together.

Stewing and pounding on the guy's door over the napkin.....a natural host would never be so unpleasant.

Unpleasant guests need a taste of their own bitter medicine. You guys sound like you would take whatever bad behavior thrown at you.

No. He would have bugged the cr*p out of me, too. I would (hopefully) not have pounded on his door over a forgotten napkin though. I would have told dh to take care of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So who is this guy? Dh's BFF from college or something?

DH's half-brother who brought along his shrieking 2yo. FML.

How long are they staying? Where’s the wife or mom in all this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So who is this guy? Dh's BFF from college or something?

DH's half-brother who brought along his shrieking 2yo. FML.

You mean YOUR brother-in-law who brought along YOUR niece/nephew? You sound like the SIL from hell.

I don't consider him my BIL. He was DH's dad's lovechild who turned up three years ago thanks to Ancestry.com. DH has another brother who is #goals thanks to my MIL.

Wtf.

This sounds like drama city: love child bro shows up 3 yo ago, has a 2 yo, lives with you while the mom/wife is dpeoloyed, you have to listen about their impending divorce, and he’s a forgetful slob.

No way, you should not be their fall back plan. How awkward for everyone— except the new Moocher of course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So who is this guy? Dh's BFF from college or something?

DH's half-brother who brought along his shrieking 2yo. FML.

You mean YOUR brother-in-law who brought along YOUR niece/nephew? You sound like the SIL from hell.

I don't consider him my BIL. He was DH's dad's lovechild who turned up three years ago thanks to Ancestry.com. DH has another brother who is #goals thanks to my MIL.

Wtf.

This sounds like drama city: love child bro shows up 3 yo ago, has a 2 yo, lives with you while the mom/wife is dpeoloyed, you have to listen about their impending divorce, and he’s a forgetful slob.

No way, you should not be their fall back plan. How awkward for everyone— except the new Moocher of course.

Yet, there he is leaving crumbs on Op's counters and juice puddles on the kitchen floor. He's got Op cooking for him and Op's dh clearing his place for him. Why would he ever leave?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So who is this guy? Dh's BFF from college or something?

DH's half-brother who brought along his shrieking 2yo. FML.

You mean YOUR brother-in-law who brought along YOUR niece/nephew? You sound like the SIL from hell.

I don't consider him my BIL. He was DH's dad's lovechild who turned up three years ago thanks to Ancestry.com. DH has another brother who is #goals thanks to my MIL.

Wtf.

This sounds like drama city: love child bro shows up 3 yo ago, has a 2 yo, lives with you while the mom/wife is dpeoloyed, you have to listen about their impending divorce, and he’s a forgetful slob.

No way, you should not be their fall back plan. How awkward for everyone— except the new Moocher of course.

This is OP. He is leaving tomorrow but I have to get to work in the morning (thank goodness!). He initated contact three years ago. And my DH is a softie while MIL doesnt want to acknowledge him, same with the other brother (FIL and her are still married). This person's wife confided in me that she's been thinking of divorce because of his alcohol abuse problems (eventually she packed him off to rehab) but she's holding out based on hope. I like his wife but I am so surprised she ended up with him (she's the type who thinks love can change a person). So yes, it's definitely drama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So if they don’t clean up the plates stay on the table.

If it gets to be dinner time and they haven’t cleared their stuff. Then you ask your DH to do it. YOU do not pick up after them if you don’t want to.

Update: I knocked on said person's room to come and get rid of his dirty napkin. He apologized for forgetting it, came back up to the kitchen and disposed of it in the trash. I guess he'll remember next time.

Woah!

You aren't very good at hosting OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Start calling your dh "the busboy".

"O.k. busboy, time to clear the table!"

NP here. I dont know why people are offended. Is it an American thing to be offended when you're actually in the wrong?

I was about to ask if it's an American thing to expect your guests to clear the table. Because I can't imagine expecting that, and I was thinking perhaps it's because my parents are immigrants. I can't imagine getting upset over a napkin left on the table. Good hosts take care of their guests.

I am American. Host all the times. And would never not clean up after my guests or get offended if they did not toss their napkin.

[Anonymous]

Friends and Family members often use our vacation home. Our only rule is that they leave it "neater then they found it". Those that don't, don't get to use it again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Start calling your dh "the busboy".

"O.k. busboy, time to clear the table!"

NP here. I dont know why people are offended. Is it an American thing to be offended when you're actually in the wrong?

I was about to ask if it's an American thing to expect your guests to clear the table. Because I can't imagine expecting that, and I was thinking perhaps it's because my parents are immigrants. I can't imagine getting upset over a napkin left on the table. Good hosts take care of their guests.

I am American. Host all the times. And would never not clean up after my guests or get offended if they did not toss their napkin.

Oh. So does that mean that you expect your hosts to clean up after you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So who is this guy? Dh's BFF from college or something?

DH's half-brother who brought along his shrieking 2yo. FML.

You mean YOUR brother-in-law who brought along YOUR niece/nephew? You sound like the SIL from hell.

I don't consider him my BIL. He was DH's dad's lovechild who turned up three years ago thanks to Ancestry.com. DH has another brother who is #goals thanks to my MIL.

Wtf.

This sounds like drama city: love child bro shows up 3 yo ago, has a 2 yo, lives with you while the mom/wife is dpeoloyed, you have to listen about their impending divorce, and he’s a forgetful slob.

No way, you should not be their fall back plan. How awkward for everyone— except the new Moocher of course.

This is OP. He is leaving tomorrow but I have to get to work in the morning (thank goodness!). He initated contact three years ago. And my DH is a softie while MIL doesnt want to acknowledge him, same with the other brother (FIL and her are still married). This person's wife confided in me that she's been thinking of divorce because of his alcohol abuse problems (eventually she packed him off to rehab) but she's holding out based on hope. I like his wife but I am so surprised she ended up with him (she's the type who thinks love can change a person). So yes, it's definitely drama.

If the guy is leaving tomorrow why on earth would you create drama over the forgotten napkin? You are going to work in the morning and by the time you get home he will be gone and you'll have your house back.

Honestly, if the guy had days more at your house I might understand why you blew your top over the napkin. But the dude is leaving - TOMORROW. Ugh, Op.