Telling guests to clean up after themselves

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Start calling your dh "the busboy".

"O.k. busboy, time to clear the table!"

NP here. I dont know why people are offended. Is it an American thing to be offended when you're actually in the wrong?

I was about to ask if it's an American thing to expect your guests to clear the table. Because I can't imagine expecting that, and I was thinking perhaps it's because my parents are immigrants. I can't imagine getting upset over a napkin left on the table. Good hosts take care of their guests.

No OP is crazy. Don’t loop her in with us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So if they don’t clean up the plates stay on the table.

If it gets to be dinner time and they haven’t cleared their stuff. Then you ask your DH to do it. YOU do not pick up after them if you don’t want to.

Update: I knocked on said person's room to come and get rid of his dirty napkin. He apologized for forgetting it, came back up to the kitchen and disposed of it in the trash. I guess he'll remember next time.

Holy crap, you're a beyotch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So if they don’t clean up the plates stay on the table.

If it gets to be dinner time and they haven’t cleared their stuff. Then you ask your DH to do it. YOU do not pick up after them if you don’t want to.

Update: I knocked on said person's room to come and get rid of his dirty napkin. He apologized for forgetting it, came back up to the kitchen and disposed of it in the trash. I guess he'll remember next time.

I hope you are joking. Is this someone you don’t like and didn’t want to host? You sound nutso.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So if they don’t clean up the plates stay on the table.

If it gets to be dinner time and they haven’t cleared their stuff. Then you ask your DH to do it. YOU do not pick up after them if you don’t want to.

Update: I knocked on said person's room to come and get rid of his dirty napkin. He apologized for forgetting it, came back up to the kitchen and disposed of it in the trash. I guess he'll remember next time.

I hope you are joking. Is this someone you don’t like and didn’t want to host? You sound nutso.

That is inconsequential. This is someone who spills juice on our kitchen floor and doesn't bother to wipe it and doesn't notice any effect he has on our living space. This person has also taken over our counter space in the living room with his stuff and it's getting on my nerves. I dare him to cry to DH that I reminded him about his disgusting napkin on the dining table.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I know some of you will tell me to just tell him to move his crap but you know what? Why do I have to tell him? Why is he so dumb that he doesn't know these things?

[Anonymous]

So who is this guy? Dh's BFF from college or something?

[Anonymous]

The amount of anger you have is not rational.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Start calling your dh "the busboy".

"O.k. busboy, time to clear the table!"

NP here. I dont know why people are offended. Is it an American thing to be offended when you're actually in the wrong?

I was about to ask if it's an American thing to expect your guests to clear the table. Because I can't imagine expecting that, and I was thinking perhaps it's because my parents are immigrants. I can't imagine getting upset over a napkin left on the table. Good hosts take care of their guests.

No OP is crazy. Don’t loop her in with us.

So a guest might be there for one evening or one month. You are saying that, regardless of length of stay, it is your job as a good host to serve 3 meals and pick up after your guests throughout the course of their stay? Does this hold true for children, too?

Basically you resign yourself to serve and pick up after your guests as long as they choose to stay in your house....

I actually can't imagine not at least offering to clear my own place but that's just me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I know some of you will tell me to just tell him to move his crap but you know what? Why do I have to tell him? Why is he so dumb that he doesn't know these things?

He's inconsiderate. Talk to your husband and ask him to pick up after his friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So bring the garbage can out and put it where they can see it or walk around and the table and ask them to deposit their trash in there. They might not know where it goes or you might be blocking it while doing other kitchen chores for example.

No, it's an open plan kitchen. They know where the bin is. It's not hidden. And everyone was sitting down so there was no blocking the bin. The dude just walked off with his kid. Arrgh..

Like his teen to go play video games, or his young child he is caring for? Actually, either way 1) you are too uptight, 2) the best way to handle the situation is to set expectations-and having kids present give you a good excuse to keep going over rules and expectations, "after your done with lunch, please clear your place," "There's a laundry hamper in your room, please strip the bed before you leave," or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So who is this guy? Dh's BFF from college or something?

DH's half-brother who brought along his shrieking 2yo. FML.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So bring the garbage can out and put it where they can see it or walk around and the table and ask them to deposit their trash in there. They might not know where it goes or you might be blocking it while doing other kitchen chores for example.

No, it's an open plan kitchen. They know where the bin is. It's not hidden. And everyone was sitting down so there was no blocking the bin. The dude just walked off with his kid. Arrgh..

Like his teen to go play video games, or his young child he is caring for? Actually, either way 1) you are too uptight, 2) the best way to handle the situation is to set expectations-and having kids present give you a good excuse to keep going over rules and expectations, "after your done with lunch, please clear your place," "There's a laundry hamper in your room, please strip the bed before you leave," or whatever.

It's so standard to call someone who is justly annoyed "uptight".

[Anonymous]

If he only left a napkin on the table, who cleared off the rest of his dishes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't entertain if you don't want to host and all that it entails, including clean up. It's abnormal to expect your guests to bus the table at your dinner party. If it's a very informal gathering with paper plates, I would definitely throw my own away. But it should be more important to you as a host that your guests are having a good time.

Agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he only left a napkin on the table, who cleared off the rest of his dishes?

DH took care of the paper plate with pizza crusts on it. The dude was way better when he visited with his wife, but the wife is deployed now and it is clear that she took care of the kid and HIM. No wonder she comtemplated divorcing him.