My landscaper hates me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is from Brazil and I have a strong suspicion he is one of these guys that despises women in authority.

Our landscaper is a Virginia redneck and I have the same problem. I just have my husband relay everything to him because he's inexpensive and does a good job.

[Anonymous]

Tell him you're calling ICE. That oughta set him straight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We pay $60 1/2 acre plus $40 for a tiny strip of land at a commercial site. Our guys are immigrants and whenever we ask for extra work it’s extra pay. We tell them that is business is slow to come to our house and we will put them to work. Just spent $1200 on getting out back fence line completely cleared and mulched. It looks spectacular and our guys go out of their way to show up and do a great job every single time. I hope your guy gets a better offer from a neighbor and drops you just before the end of the season. I doubt he will be fetching firewood like ours does.

OP here. This guy is running a business with several crews driving around in shiny new trucks and top of the line lawn equipment. He is doing just fine and has a strong customer base. He is hardly struggling and doesn't need handouts. I am paying the price he bills me and pay on time. Any extra work is also billed at the rate he sets. He just doesn't like women to tell him what to do. I feel bad for his wife.

OP also wants her immigrant slaves to have no pride in their appearance.

They need to have dirty cars and have machetes, not good equipment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If anyone knows a thing or two about Latin cultures it’s NOT wrong to point out that there is a history of maschismo behavior among many Latin men and that goes with inferior treatment of women, particularly assertive women. There’s been a lot of sociological studies on this.

OP, as someone who hires help, if you aren’t getting respect from them, fire them. He may be cheap and even may do a good job, but if he isn’t treating you with respect it’ll just eat away at you. Not worth it. Better to find someone else even at a higher rate.

As someone familiar with American Culture, it is normal for white people to need their employees to paw at them with gratitude for hiring them, regardless of the poor salary. I like to call it the “Master Syndrome”. it’s NOT wrong to point out that there is a history of racism and xenophobic behavior among many white women and men particularly when it comes to Latino men, especially hardworking Latino men. There’s been a lot of sociological studies on this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he's annoyed because he charges $20 to mow your lawn and you've got him doing extra stuff like weeding and cleaning your gutters and what have you.

Winner winner chicken dinner.

No kidding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We pay $60 1/2 acre plus $40 for a tiny strip of land at a commercial site. Our guys are immigrants and whenever we ask for extra work it’s extra pay. We tell them that is business is slow to come to our house and we will put them to work. Just spent $1200 on getting out back fence line completely cleared and mulched. It looks spectacular and our guys go out of their way to show up and do a great job every single time. I hope your guy gets a better offer from a neighbor and drops you just before the end of the season. I doubt he will be fetching firewood like ours does.

OP here. This guy is running a business with several crews driving around in shiny new trucks and top of the line lawn equipment. He is doing just fine and has a strong customer base. He is hardly struggling and doesn't need handouts. I am paying the price he bills me and pay on time. Any extra work is also billed at the rate he sets. He just doesn't like women to tell him what to do. I feel bad for his wife.

Lmao. But otoh he could just not like YOU. I’m sure his wife is fine with him and him working his ass off with shiny new trucks. Not really hard to imagine why you would be unliked.

Actually you are right. He probably doesn't like me, but I think that is the case with most assertive women. Perhaps his wife is fine with the way he treats her.

If you were half as “assertive” as you say you are you’d assert yourself in this situation and ask him outright. “Hey - it seems we are having a personality clash when I’m paying you. Is there an issue to discuss or should I find someone else”. But yet you choose to clam up and whine about the Brazilian being rude to you on a forum. Pick a lane.

Did not say HOW assertive I am. Yes I am assertive. I tell him when he misses things. I ask when I am on the schedule. I let him know when the guys forget to do something. Actually, perhaps I enjoy irritating him...like maybe he deserves me. lol

Nobody “deserves” you OP.

I think we all feel sorry for your husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If anyone knows a thing or two about Latin cultures it’s NOT wrong to point out that there is a history of maschismo behavior among many Latin men and that goes with inferior treatment of women, particularly assertive women. There’s been a lot of sociological studies on this.

OP, as someone who hires help, if you aren’t getting respect from them, fire them. He may be cheap and even may do a good job, but if he isn’t treating you with respect it’ll just eat away at you. Not worth it. Better to find someone else even at a higher rate.

As someone familiar with American Culture, it is normal for white people to need their employees to paw at them with gratitude for hiring them, regardless of the poor salary. I like to call it the “Master Syndrome”. it’s NOT wrong to point out that there is a history of racism and xenophobic behavior among many white women and men particularly when it comes to Latino men, especially hardworking Latino men. There’s been a lot of sociological studies on this.

OP here. I should point out to you I come from Latin routes. My mom (and consequently all my uncles) immigrated from Argentina. I know the attitude all too well. When my mom was growing up, they weren't allowed to eat the dark meat on the chicken until after her dad came home and ate what he wanted. Women are low in the pecking order...I even felt it from the standpoint of how my relatives treated my brothers relative to me and my sisters. There is definitely a cultural aspect to this. Hence, the Brazilian immigrant who can't take orders from a woman. I totally think it is cultural. I am not saying that every Latin American man is like this. I know several who are not. It may be related to education level as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If anyone knows a thing or two about Latin cultures it’s NOT wrong to point out that there is a history of maschismo behavior among many Latin men and that goes with inferior treatment of women, particularly assertive women. There’s been a lot of sociological studies on this.

OP, as someone who hires help, if you aren’t getting respect from them, fire them. He may be cheap and even may do a good job, but if he isn’t treating you with respect it’ll just eat away at you. Not worth it. Better to find someone else even at a higher rate.

As someone familiar with American Culture, it is normal for white people to need their employees to paw at them with gratitude for hiring them, regardless of the poor salary. I like to call it the “Master Syndrome”. it’s NOT wrong to point out that there is a history of racism and xenophobic behavior among many white women and men particularly when it comes to Latino men, especially hardworking Latino men. There’s been a lot of sociological studies on this.

OP here. I should point out to you I come from Latin routes. My mom (and consequently all my uncles) immigrated from Argentina. I know the attitude all too well. When my mom was growing up, they weren't allowed to eat the dark meat on the chicken until after her dad came home and ate what he wanted. Women are low in the pecking order...I even felt it from the standpoint of how my relatives treated my brothers relative to me and my sisters. There is definitely a cultural aspect to this. Hence, the Brazilian immigrant who can't take orders from a woman. I totally think it is cultural. I am not saying that every Latin American man is like this. I know several who are not. It may be related to education level as well.

Oh so you’re a self hating racist AND a classist. Man your husband is really miserable. What hell he must live in everyday!

[Anonymous]

Five pages in and OP became a POC. This board is serving miracles!

[Anonymous]

Is the Latin route like the Underground Railroad or what? Do they have mariachi bands along the way? Empanadas stands? I want parts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is from Brazil and I have a strong suspicion he is one of these guys that despises women in authority.

Our landscaper is a Virginia redneck and I have the same problem. I just have my husband relay everything to him because he's inexpensive and does a good job.

You are probably one step up from trailer park trash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If anyone knows a thing or two about Latin cultures it’s NOT wrong to point out that there is a history of maschismo behavior among many Latin men and that goes with inferior treatment of women, particularly assertive women. There’s been a lot of sociological studies on this.

OP, as someone who hires help, if you aren’t getting respect from them, fire them. He may be cheap and even may do a good job, but if he isn’t treating you with respect it’ll just eat away at you. Not worth it. Better to find someone else even at a higher rate.

As someone familiar with American Culture, it is normal for white people to need their employees to paw at them with gratitude for hiring them, regardless of the poor salary. I like to call it the “Master Syndrome”. it’s NOT wrong to point out that there is a history of racism and xenophobic behavior among many white women and men particularly when it comes to Latino men, especially hardworking Latino men. There’s been a lot of sociological studies on this.

OP here. I should point out to you I come from Latin routes. My mom (and consequently all my uncles) immigrated from Argentina. I know the attitude all too well. When my mom was growing up, they weren't allowed to eat the dark meat on the chicken until after her dad came home and ate what he wanted. Women are low in the pecking order...I even felt it from the standpoint of how my relatives treated my brothers relative to me and my sisters. There is definitely a cultural aspect to this. Hence, the Brazilian immigrant who can't take orders from a woman. I totally think it is cultural. I am not saying that every Latin American man is like this. I know several who are not. It may be related to education level as well.

m

I hate dark meat chicken. How is not getting to eat that some kind of slight?

[Anonymous]

I hate dark meat chicken. How is not getting to eat that some kind of slight?

Right?! My mom always said my dad gets the big of chicken. That’s a breast. I call troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Five pages in and OP became a POC. This board is serving miracles!

Lol, I thought the same thing.

OP, I hope he drops you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Five pages in and OP became a POC. This board is serving miracles!

Lol, I thought the same thing.

OP, I hope he drops you.

Not POC at all. White and Hispanic. There is such a thing. And referring to education level I do not believe is classist. It is just a situation where our friends (who tend to be college educated) are not macho like the landscaper. They actually respect their wives and other women, who tend to be in positions of power and often in more power positions than their male spouses/friends. Landscaper, like I said, clearly has an issue with women in a position of power.