Can a married woman and married man be friends?

[Anonymous]

I had lots of female friends through out my life so far. I ended up having sex with everyone of them at some point during our friendship. Now that I am married I try to avoid these friendships

[Anonymous]

I think so. My example is unmarried woman (divorced) and a married man. He and I had a one night stand in college and ended up becoming friends after that. It's now been 10+ years and we're good friends with no weirdness or interest for more. So give that a single woman and a married man can be, I see no reason two married ones can't.

[Anonymous]

Yes, of course. Unless one or both of you are inclined to have more than a friendship.

I have a friend who is married (and male, while I'm female and married.) We have jobs and lots of work related stuff in common, and we're in a book group together. We have lunch together once in a while, and we email sometimes.

The four of us also go out to dinner together once or twice a year, and my husband would be welcome to see or hear our conversations at any time.

It's pretty easy. We're also both decent looking people but that's pretty irrelevant.

[Anonymous]

Yes, but under certain circumstances. I had a male friend that I was close with before I met my husband. There was never anything, nor has there ever been anything, physical between us. DH knows him and is friends with him too. I am good friends with my male friends wife. This works.

I have another married male friend that I am close with, but we only see each other with other people around. We text occasionally and if my DH were to see the texts, there would be no issue. However, with this male friend, I believe there is physical attraction with both parties. That said, we both know that anything beyond a friendship wouldn't work bc our friendship is more like a sibling relationship. Not sure if that makes sense, but basically, neither of us would ever put ourselves in a situation that would create temptation. DH knows him as well.

[Anonymous]

I am but I’m usually friends with the wife too. In this case it’s with SAHDs and easier to coordinate with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's how it works ladies:

Scenario 1. I DON'T want to sleep with you its because I don't find you attractive and I am generally happy with my marriage - so game on for friendship assuming my spouse isn't threatened by it.

Scenario 2. I DO want to sleep with you because I find you attractive but that doesn't mean I am going to act on it or try to do so... but if you expressed feelings towards me than: A) If I am happy in my marriage I might shut down the friendship (which I'd guess happens 25% of the time) or B) I have an affair with you (which I'd guess happens 75% of the time).

So if you have a guy friend they probably don't find you attractive, or if they do they don't think you are interested in anything more than friendship (but fantasize about the possibility)

This.

I do think married men and women can be close friends when they are not both attracted to each other. If there is an attraction on both sides, I think the odds are high for at least an emotional affair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's how it works ladies:

Scenario 1. I DON'T want to sleep with you its because I don't find you attractive and I am generally happy with my marriage - so game on for friendship assuming my spouse isn't threatened by it.

Scenario 2. I DO want to sleep with you because I find you attractive but that doesn't mean I am going to act on it or try to do so... but if you expressed feelings towards me than: A) If I am happy in my marriage I might shut down the friendship (which I'd guess happens 25% of the time) or B) I have an affair with you (which I'd guess happens 75% of the time).

So if you have a guy friend they probably don't find you attractive, or if they do they don't think you are interested in anything more than friendship (but fantasize about the possibility)

Man here. I couldn't explain it any better than this.

[Anonymous]

I graduated from an Ivy League school, have a vacation home abroad, HHI of mid-six figures, and am friends with several people of the opposite sex and have never had an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but under certain circumstances. I had a male friend that I was close with before I met my husband. There was never anything, nor has there ever been anything, physical between us. DH knows him and is friends with him too. I am good friends with my male friends wife. This works.

I have another married male friend that I am close with, but we only see each other with other people around. We text occasionally and if my DH were to see the texts, there would be no issue. However, with this male friend, I believe there is physical attraction with both parties. That said, we both know that anything beyond a friendship wouldn't work bc our friendship is more like a sibling relationship. Not sure if that makes sense, but basically, neither of us would ever put ourselves in a situation that would create temptation. DH knows him as well.

I've been both of your friends to different people.

I have a female friend whom I liked way back in high school, but after all these years we really are like siblings. I get along with her husband and her family. We go on day trips alone to NYC or Philly together and argue like siblings the whole time. The thought of anything sexual with her makes me feel uncomfortable as if I were thinking about a relative. That NEVER happens when I think of any of my other female friends, which brings me to the second friend you described.

I also have friends with whom I could tell there was mutual attraction but we respected my/our marriage(s) and our friendship enough to not acknowledge it or put ourselves in situations that could cause any deeper feelings to develop. We most certainly didn't go on a day trip together or allow an emotional affair to develop by talking about our relationship woes.

The interesting thing is that after I got divorced I ended up sleeping with almost all of them. They weren't all mutual friends, but they were aware that I'd slept with ___ or ____ since I got divorced. They didn't seem to care. Some were just sex. Others wanted to see where a relationship might lead. Only one explicitly stated that she'd been harboring feelings since I was married. The rest swear that it never crossed their minds until we both found ourselves single.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can a married woman be friends with a married man, including texting etc?

YES!! Grow up!

[Anonymous]

Yes, absolutely, but your jealous and controlling spouse may disagree. This can be a deal breaker in some relationships. The jealous/controlling spouse likely had some cheating trauma in a previous relationship. If there were mature, logical, reasonable, etc., then they would get over it and trust their life partner to have friends. Sadly, some cannot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I graduated from an Ivy League school, have a vacation home abroad, HHI of mid-six figures, and am friends with several people of the opposite sex and have never had an issue.

[Anonymous]

Yes, during the post-coital afterglow.

[Anonymous]

clitoris rhymes with cheating

[Anonymous]

Of course they can. My rule is that if I wouldn't want my husband to read what I texted or hear what I said, then it's not okay. If I would be totally fine with him hearing the conversation or reading the text, then it's okay.