Can a married woman and married man be friends?

[Anonymous]

But then that is on you. I guess you're like Mike Pence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But then that is on you. I guess you're like Mike Pence.

No, not Mike Pence. Just saying I can make decisions I’ll later regret.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes yes, sometimes no. I have two male friends - former coworkers - that we are just friends. But here’s the deal - we know each others’ spouses, who could always be included in our get together, if available. I mostly would contact the men first to initiate a get together, but sometimes I call the wife first. My DH sometimes is there, but often I might get together with the other folks when DH is away or busy.

If your spouses are hidden from each other -that’s not great.

[Anonymous]

Man here... yes, under some circumstances. But it also is a slippery slope for many. Emotional infidelity can occur, let alone the physical infidelity. Having such a friendship certainly increases the possible odds dramatically vs NOT having a member of the opposite sex that you confide in and have an emotional connection.

And for the record, I've never know a guy that had an attractive female "friend" whom he wouldn't sleep with if he thought he wouldn't get caught. Other men can tell me how wrong I am, and I'm sure there are a few unicorns out there that wouldn't, but most men would. I know about 15 people through work, friendships, neighbors whose marriage was ruined because their partner found an opposite sex gym/running partner, or play-dates at home with the kids, or often from work.

[Anonymous]

Yes if you don't mind playing the odds which I would peg at 30% it turns out fine and 70% it doesn't

[Anonymous]

Sure, I have a few great guy friends. We have talked every day for the past 12 years and hang out semi frequently. Nothing has happened yet. We are all married.

[Anonymous]

Yes. If you are 100% comfortable sharing every text/email with your dh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. If you are 100% comfortable sharing every text/email with your dh.

I’m not saying that you have to share I just Lena if your communication is such that you’d show your dh and he’s think nothing of it.

[Anonymous]

anything is possible. so what your really asking OP is how risky is it. and while many will tell you it went fine for them there are probably an equal number who will tell you it didn't or at a minimum created or exposed some relationship issue with their marriage. about 15% of marriages end due to infidelity.

[Anonymous]

My dh has a married woman friend. They met at a conference a couple years ago and had a nerdy professional mind meld. She lovely and her and her dh and their kids have visited us and we them multiple times. They talk on email about work and what each of them is writing etc. I have no concerns whatsoever about their relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man here... yes, under some circumstances. But it also is a slippery slope for many. Emotional infidelity can occur, let alone the physical infidelity. Having such a friendship certainly increases the possible odds dramatically vs NOT having a member of the opposite sex that you confide in and have an emotional connection.

And for the record, I've never know a guy that had an attractive female "friend" whom he wouldn't sleep with if he thought he wouldn't get caught. Other men can tell me how wrong I am, and I'm sure there are a few unicorns out there that wouldn't, but most men would. I know about 15 people through work, friendships, neighbors whose marriage was ruined because their partner found an opposite sex gym/running partner, or play-dates at home with the kids, or often from work.

You're wrong!
Signed - Mike Pence

[Anonymous]

Here's how it works ladies:

Scenario 1. I DON'T want to sleep with you its because I don't find you attractive and I am generally happy with my marriage - so game on for friendship assuming my spouse isn't threatened by it.

Scenario 2. I DO want to sleep with you because I find you attractive but that doesn't mean I am going to act on it or try to do so... but if you expressed feelings towards me than: A) If I am happy in my marriage I might shut down the friendship (which I'd guess happens 25% of the time) or B) I have an affair with you (which I'd guess happens 75% of the time).

So if you have a guy friend they probably don't find you attractive, or if they do they don't think you are interested in anything more than friendship (but fantasize about the possibility)

[Anonymous]

Sure. I have several close male friends. Totally platonic. It's only a big deal if you make it one.

[Anonymous]

Guy here, it's really about self control. I have several female acquaintances, mostly mothers of the kids my children are friends with. We talk and hang out occasionally in group settings. It's only a big deal if you overthink it and make it one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks all. I am the married woman. I am not used to having male friends and just want to be careful. We text each other, we have never been inappropriate and don’t have any sort of romantic history. I find him attractive and can tell he finds me attractive but again all conversations have been above board. I think we can be friends but didn’t know if I was being naive.

Nope.

Nope. Nope.