Can a married woman and married man be friends?

[Anonymous]

In some cases, yes. In other cases, no.

[Anonymous]

You find each other attractive. What do you think the answer is, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks all. I am the married woman. I am not used to having male friends and just want to be careful. We text each other, we have never been inappropriate and don’t have any sort of romantic history. I find him attractive and can tell he finds me attractive but again all conversations have been above board. I think we can be friends but didn’t know if I was being naive.

The mutual physical attraction is the risk. If you shared a common interest that's fine, but the fact that you mention the physical attraction is a sign that deep down you think that something could happen even if everything has been above board. I think you know the answer, you just don't like what it is because you enjoy the very subtle flirtation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can a married woman be friends with a married man, including texting etc?

Yes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks all. I am the married woman. I am not used to having male friends and just want to be careful. We text each other, we have never been inappropriate and don’t have any sort of romantic history. I find him attractive and can tell he finds me attractive but again all conversations have been above board. I think we can be friends but didn’t know if I was being naive.

Man here....eh NO, not if there is any type of physical attraction...so definately not in your case. Im happily married but found myself in a similar situation with a single female (attractive woman) where we would generally txt and occasionally meet up for lunch or coffee. Being honest with myself, I would not be speaking Or meeting with her if I did not find here attractive. I slowly faded away.

[Anonymous]

I am a married woman and have one close friend who is a married man. He is super christian and I am an athiest (we became friends in law school), so there is really no chance of anything happening and any attraction is minimal. Our friendship centers largely around mutual sports interests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, If they know each other from ES or HS. I have friends from those years.

+1
I am still close to several friends from primary school. Spouses have all met and everything's above board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If they are brother/sister, yes. If they are childhood friends, probably. If they are co-workers, maybe. If they are ex boyfriend/girlfriend, probably not. If they don't want you to know about it, no.

+1

And if you are both physically attracted to each other the answer is heck no.

[Anonymous]

As long as they are both fat then it’s ok.

[Anonymous]

No...because the sex part always gets in the way.
It's already out there!

[Anonymous]

Of course. I'm still very good friends with two ex'es and neither of us have any desire, not even a little, to get back together or hook up.

[Anonymous]

Why are so many people insecure about opposite sex friendships? Can a gay woman or gay man be friends with someone of the same sex? You people need to grow up. This is the 21st century not the 19th. Men and women work together, go to school together, etc. We are not segregated. This is not Saudi Arabia!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks all. I am the married woman. I am not used to having male friends and just want to be careful. We text each other, we have never been inappropriate and don’t have any sort of romantic history. I find him attractive and can tell he finds me attractive but again all conversations have been above board. I think we can be friends but didn’t know if I was being naive.

Okay, then in YOUR situation, the answer is no - not without great risk to your marriage. OP, the title of your thread was misleading, because you left out the important detail of mutual attraction. If you can tell that he’s sexually attracted to you then this isn’t just about being buddies; without the attraction, there probably would t be a “friendship” in the first place, even if for now you’re keeping conversations about the World Cup and the weather..

Change the title: “Can a married man and a married woman who are attracted to each other he friends?” and see what replies you get. Perhaps you wanted to hear that yes, it’s okay so you could go on your merry way...but would you be okay if your DH were texting someone he was attracted to, who was also attracted to him? Would it make you uneasy, even if the texts were “above board?”

[Anonymous]

Meant to say - without the attraction there probably *wouldn’t* be a friendship.

[Anonymous]

Why are so many people insecure about opposite sex friendships?

Because with enough stress on the home front, a little alcohol, and the opportunity, I would do something stupid.