Can a married woman and married man be friends?

[Anonymous]

I have a few males friends a couple of whom I find attractive but it would be incredibly stupid for anything to come of it so flirting or anything like it is off the table. I know this sounds terrible but once in a while when my DH is doing me face down I'm thinking about someone else though not one of my friends. My bet is that I'm not the only one who does this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes but here has to be a significant differential in appearances. I have a very close friend at work with whom I text, vent about work, etc (never personal stuff). But for many reasons it is 1000% impossible that it would ever turn into an attraction. It will always and forever only and could only ever be platonic (I believe from his side as well, we are just that lopsided/imbalanced in lots of ways).

If the two are on the same level in terms of attractiveness/personality type, it's harder.

I'm guessing you are the hotter half of this friendship. I was once in the same shoes when my 'work buddy' told me she wanted to buy me dinner. I was floored, didn't see it coming. Be prepared for this and let him down gently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a few males friends a couple of whom I find attractive but it would be incredibly stupid for anything to come of it so flirting or anything like it is off the table. I know this sounds terrible but once in a while when my DH is doing me face down I'm thinking about someone else though not one of my friends. My bet is that I'm not the only one who does this!

You're not! I adore my husband but every so often when I can't see my husbands face someone like George Clooney pops into my head. It's probably "wrong" but a girl has to have some kind of fun!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a few males friends a couple of whom I find attractive but it would be incredibly stupid for anything to come of it so flirting or anything like it is off the table. I know this sounds terrible but once in a while when my DH is doing me face down I'm thinking about someone else though not one of my friends. My bet is that I'm not the only one who does this!

He is thinking about doing the new young hottie in the office so you are even.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks all. I am the married woman. I am not used to having male friends and just want to be careful. We text each other, we have never been inappropriate and don’t have any sort of romantic history. I find him attractive and can tell he finds me attractive but again all conversations have been above board. I think we can be friends but didn’t know if I was being naive.

How can you tell that he finds you attractive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But then that is on you. I guess you're like Mike Pence.

+1. I'm a married woman and have some very good married, male friends. We mostly started out as work colleagues or former college/grad school classmates. My DH has never found it to be a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a few males friends a couple of whom I find attractive but it would be incredibly stupid for anything to come of it so flirting or anything like it is off the table. I know this sounds terrible but once in a while when my DH is doing me face down I'm thinking about someone else though not one of my friends. My bet is that I'm not the only one who does this!

So that’s why my wife always wants to do it doggy style.

[Anonymous]

My best friend from college is a guy (I'm a girl). 15 years post-college and I'm friends with his wife, he's friends with my husband and our kids are close friends. Any individual convo/text/email within the four adults would be pretty par for the course/not unusual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My best friend from college is a guy (I'm a girl). 15 years post-college and I'm friends with his wife, he's friends with my husband and our kids are close friends. Any individual convo/text/email within the four adults would be pretty par for the course/not unusual.

I think the point is what you have is not just a 1 on 1 relationship with someone of the opposite sex. All spouses are involved in the relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks all. I am the married woman. I am not used to having male friends and just want to be careful. We text each other, we have never been inappropriate and don’t have any sort of romantic history. I find him attractive and can tell he finds me attractive but again all conversations have been above board. I think we can be friends but didn’t know if I was being naive.

How can you tell that he finds you attractive?

He told me years ago (before marriage). And he pays a lot of attention to me. I could be wrong but just seems like he does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My best friend from college is a guy (I'm a girl). 15 years post-college and I'm friends with his wife, he's friends with my husband and our kids are close friends. Any individual convo/text/email within the four adults would be pretty par for the course/not unusual.

I think the point is what you have is not just a 1 on 1 relationship with someone of the opposite sex. All spouses are involved in the relationship.

Yes this is different from what I (OP) was asking about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes but here has to be a significant differential in appearances. I have a very close friend at work with whom I text, vent about work, etc (never personal stuff). But for many reasons it is 1000% impossible that it would ever turn into an attraction. It will always and forever only and could only ever be platonic (I believe from his side as well, we are just that lopsided/imbalanced in lots of ways).

If the two are on the same level in terms of attractiveness/personality type, it's harder.

I'm guessing you are the hotter half of this friendship. I was once in the same shoes when my 'work buddy' told me she wanted to buy me dinner. I was floored, didn't see it coming. Be prepared for this and let him down gently.

He is 0% interested. Like I said, we are too different in many ways but the friendship works for work purposes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a few males friends a couple of whom I find attractive but it would be incredibly stupid for anything to come of it so flirting or anything like it is off the table. I know this sounds terrible but once in a while when my DH is doing me face down I'm thinking about someone else though not one of my friends. My bet is that I'm not the only one who does this!

So that’s why my wife always wants to do it doggy style.

You are most likely correct in that assumption!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can a married woman be friends with a married man, including texting etc?

Yes, and the sex is good too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a few males friends a couple of whom I find attractive but it would be incredibly stupid for anything to come of it so flirting or anything like it is off the table. I know this sounds terrible but once in a while when my DH is doing me face down I'm thinking about someone else though not one of my friends. My bet is that I'm not the only one who does this!

I think that's a pretty good bet and I bet my husband does the same thing when all he can really see is my back and my butt. I'd ask him but I really don't want to know who he's thinking about. At least I know it's not my sister as he doesn't like her but I do have some very good looking friends.