Question for Women - Dating advice for 51 year old man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. Great advice. Very helpful suggestions on the photos. For the profile. What are you looking for? It seems listing interest is over done. How much detail? Kids? Ages? What makes you swipe right? The photos? The profile?

And a comment on the age topic. I think 40 is my very low end and top is 53. The one thing that is making me hesitant approaching women is my apparent horrible judge of age. I have talked to some 50 year olds that look 40 or younger and 40 year olds that appear closer to 50. Any advice on that?

My advice on that, as a 50 year old divorced woman who is constantly pegged as approx. 10 years younger .... ask yourself why you care at all whether the woman is 40, 44, or 51. I'm serious. What difference do those ages make to you (assuming her appearance, demeanor and basic demographic details meet your threshold.)? Do you want to have more babies? Are you hoping to retire simultaneously with your next partner? Etc.

How do women not understand this? It's about sex. 35 year old sex is better than 55 year old sex

Why would a 35 year old woman in her sexual prime want to roll the dice with a 50 year old?

In my case, because I own a Sybian and know how to run it.

[Anonymous]

I'm 56 and when I started dating a few years ago it was briefly fun to be with women in their mid-late 30's but I quickly found that very intelligent women in that age group were either taken or had no interest in a guy my age. Yes, the women were hot and fun but that was it. While they fed my ego that was about it. When I moved up to 45-55 (I was 53) things became so much better. Smart women, some empty nesters, common interests and like me with a few miles on them but they could still turn it on. I've been in a relationship for the past year with a 55 year old and it's great.

[Anonymous]

Get over yourself. A sybian. Men are so out of touch.

[Anonymous]

OP: don't listen to the women on this thread. I am your age, a divorced dad, and I have never had better dating opportunities in my life than I have now. I have dated 24 year olds, and 53 year olds, and other ages in between. I have dated a brilliant 25 year old law student, an accomplished 39 year old engineer, a beautiful 42 year old dentist, a sexy 40 year old scientist, a brainy 50 year old professor, and so many others.

If you want younger, Asian and African American women seem more interested in an older guy but plenty of women in their 40s of all ethnicities will be interested in you.

What you have to understand is that women in the dating market want a relationship more than you do, and they also want sex more than you do. Speaking of sex--you will likely get good sex from all ages.

Last: don't worry if you don't have anyone tonight or this weekend. Enjoy your time alone and use it well. You'll be with someone soon. Every single one of my friends who got divorced in their 50s are now remarried or in long-term relationships while none of their exes are in a relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP. Great advice. Very helpful suggestions on the photos. For the profile. What are you looking for? It seems listing interest is over done. How much detail? Kids? Ages? What makes you swipe right? The photos? The profile?

And a comment on the age topic. I think 40 is my very low end and top is 53. The one thing that is making me hesitant approaching women is my apparent horrible judge of age. I have talked to some 50 year olds that look 40 or younger and 40 year olds that appear closer to 50. Any advice on that?

I personally like men who have interests—hiking, tennis, watching hockey games, history, whatever. I like a sense of humor. Like other posters here, there is something gross about men who want women a lot younger than them. I also feel there is something obnoxious about men who want women who are a lot thinner than them. Just my two cents

[Anonymous]

OP here. I have not posted to this site before and was not sure what to expect. I was pleasantly surprised. The responses were insightful, helpful, funny and gave me optimism for dating again. Thank you. Keep the advice coming!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: don't listen to the women on this thread. I am your age, a divorced dad, and I have never had better dating opportunities in my life than I have now. I have dated 24 year olds, and 53 year olds, and other ages in between. I have dated a brilliant 25 year old law student, an accomplished 39 year old engineer, a beautiful 42 year old dentist, a sexy 40 year old scientist, a brainy 50 year old professor, and so many others.

If you want younger, Asian and African American women seem more interested in an older guy but plenty of women in their 40s of all ethnicities will be interested in you.

What you have to understand is that women in the dating market want a relationship more than you do, and they also want sex more than you do. Speaking of sex--you will likely get good sex from all ages.

Last: don't worry if you don't have anyone tonight or this weekend. Enjoy your time alone and use it well. You'll be with someone soon. Every single one of my friends who got divorced in their 50s are now remarried or in long-term relationships while none of their exes are in a relationship.

He asked the women, not men like you. He already knows what the men will tell him. He wants to know what the women think. Did you read the title of the thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would like to get a women’s perspective. Recently entered the dating world after about 20 years. Have used several dating sites with not much luck. What advice would you give?

Here's a tip from a guy----

Rule 1--don't ask women for dating advice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I have not posted to this site before and was not sure what to expect. I was pleasantly surprised. The responses were insightful, helpful, funny and gave me optimism for dating again. Thank you. Keep the advice coming!

Women tell you what THEY want to hear. Women don't tell you what they biologically respond to.

Hit it and quit it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I personally like men who have interests—hiking, tennis, watching hockey games, history, whatever. I like a sense of humor. Like other posters here, there is something gross about men who want women a lot younger than them. I also feel there is something obnoxious about men who want women who are a lot thinner than them. Just my two cents

Tough beans for you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a man who desires sexually attractive younger women. And there is definitely nothing wrong with man who wants thinner women.

After all, men age like fine wine while women age like milk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
To each his own. I’m 50 and I don’t care if they loved through the Gulf War. Younger people have their own cultural experiences that I loved through. Younger women are much less set in their ways and usually have less baggage. Go for a smart one.

Isn't it incredible? Women lose sexual desirability to men as they age but their demands increase and they get more pickier and more obstinate. Younger women on the other hand are hotter, more willing to live in the moment and more willing to, most importantly, have sex.

Sorry, grandmas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:51yo woman here who did quite a bit of online dating in recent years (now off, in a relationship).

1. Pictures are the first and most important impression. You would not believe the number of guy profiles with incredibly bad pictures. Make sure someone, preferably a woman whose taste seems compatible with yours, helps you select your pictures. If you don't feel comfortable doing that, put a few pictures on photofeeler and consider the feedback. You should be well-groomed and attractively dressed and smiling in at least one of them (but not necessarily all of them). Pictures that a lot of guys seem to like to post but don't do anything for most women: pics with wildlife, fishing, wearing your team's shirt/hat, bathroom or car selfies, shirtless, posing with attractive women, ratty t-shirts with baggy shorts

2. Women being turned off by men with "younger only" age ranges is a thing. Raise your upper age to 55 even if that seems high to you. It'll look better.

3. The written portion of your profile should have good grammar, correct spelling, no emojis. It's fine to show a sense of humor, but more important to come across as tasteful and intelligent. Provide some details about yourself that show your individuality and will give fodder for conversation. Here are some good tips: https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/online-dating-advice/online-dating-profile-tips/online-dating-profile-examples-for-men/

4. Send a lot of messages, even to women you're not sure about. It's a numbers game.

5. The first message should be tailored to the recipient and show that you read her profile. Allude to something in her profile (other than her looks!), comment on some common ground/interest you have, and end with a question that invites response. No "hi, love your profile" or dead-end comments. You need to lead a conversation. Offer some information about yourself that shows you're real and sane and harmless.

6. If you get a positive response, propose a date fairly quickly. No texting back and forth for days.

7. Propose interesting, active dates - a visit to a museum, a city walk (not a trail hike; that would raise safety concerns for most women), an activity or performance.

8. Be a good, polite texter.

9. Read Modern Romance by Asis Anzari for a good examination of current dating behaviors and good tips on how to do it better.

Holy shit, you are EXHAUSTING

[Anonymous]

I am 48 dating a man 6 years older than me that I met online 7 years ago. He rose to the top because he hd nice photos, he didnt give the impression he hiked, biked and climbed everything all of the time, he seemed to love his kids and his profile came across as genuine. We laugh a lot together, travel, he is handy and does stuff for me around the house, we have a hot sex life, and we communicate well.

You sound like a nice guy OP, figure out how to signal that via your profile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would like to get a women’s perspective. Recently entered the dating world after about 20 years. Have used several dating sites with not much luck. What advice would you give?

Here's a tip from a guy----

Rule 1--don't ask women for dating advice

+100,000

Did you notice, OP never asked or said anything about age? And this is what he gets. Frumpy DC Mommies projecting their primal fear of young women against his desire for a freaking date.

I don't even know why I come here. Maybe 'cause I just love it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would like to get a women’s perspective. Recently entered the dating world after about 20 years. Have used several dating sites with not much luck. What advice would you give?

Here's a tip from a guy----

Rule 1--don't ask women for dating advice

+100,000

Did you notice, OP never asked or said anything about age? And this is what he gets. Frumpy DC Mommies projecting their primal fear of young women against his desire for a freaking date.

I don't even know why I come here. Maybe 'cause I just love it.

You should probably focus on that.