Question for Women - Dating advice for 51 year old man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“How do women not understand this? It's about sex. 35 year old sex is better than 55 year old sex.”

How do you not understand that a 35 y.o. women who is heading towards her sexual peak in her 40’s is a terrible match sexually with a 55 y.o. guy who can’t get and stay hard? They may be a good match in terms of him wanting someone to be his caretaker and her wanting someone to support her (though few men can afford that if they have a family from their first marriage). But if it’s “about sex,” then a guy looking at young women doesn’t really know anything about women and sex.

If he couldn't get hard he wouldn't be looking for a woman you dumbass.

That is soooo not true. If that your theory, why would older men even look at women reaching their sexual peaks in their 40s. They love to try to stuff it in.

[Anonymous]

Why would a 35 year old woman in her sexual prime want to roll the dice with a 50 year old?

Because she can't get a pair of sixes (with anyone), until she throws the dice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. Great advice. Very helpful suggestions on the photos. For the profile. What are you looking for? It seems listing interest is over done. How much detail? Kids? Ages? What makes you swipe right? The photos? The profile?

And a comment on the age topic. I think 40 is my very low end and top is 53. The one thing that is making me hesitant approaching women is my apparent horrible judge of age. I have talked to some 50 year olds that look 40 or younger and 40 year olds that appear closer to 50. Any advice on that?

My advice on that, as a 50 year old divorced woman who is constantly pegged as approx. 10 years younger .... ask yourself why you care at all whether the woman is 40, 44, or 51. I'm serious. What difference do those ages make to you (assuming her appearance, demeanor and basic demographic details meet your threshold.)? Do you want to have more babies? Are you hoping to retire simultaneously with your next partner? Etc.

How do women not understand this? It's about sex. 35 year old sex is better than 55 year old sex

Why would a 35 year old woman in her sexual prime want to roll the dice with a 50 year old?

$$$

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This will probably be attacked, but as a recently divorced, fit, sane, attractive, realistic 49 year old man, the idea of starting a serious relationship with a woman over the age of, say, 41 is simply laughable. It's a nonstarter.

As for OP-don't buy the hype that you're relegated to 54 year old cat ladies. Every single one of my buddies that have been divorced ended up with a younger, prettier woman. Without exception.

The whole 'creepy old man looking for teenage girl' crap is just that. Crap.

Oh, and my ex is 40.

Good for you -- but you obviously prefer younger women. And you end up single again. Big woo.

Oh, a little summer fun with someone that has a little cash. It's a win-win for a young girl. They then do home to their younger boyfriends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This will probably be attacked, but as a recently divorced, fit, sane, attractive, realistic 49 year old man, the idea of starting a serious relationship with a woman over the age of, say, 41 is simply laughable. It's a nonstarter.

As for OP-don't buy the hype that you're relegated to 54 year old cat ladies. Every single one of my buddies that have been divorced ended up with a younger, prettier woman. Without exception.

The whole 'creepy old man looking for teenage girl' crap is just that. Crap.

Oh, and my ex is 40.

Good for you -- but you obviously prefer younger women. And you end up single again. Big woo.

Oh, a little summer fun with someone that has a little cash. It's a win-win for a young girl. They then do home to their younger boyfriends.

Seriously. I love how the 50 year old dudes act like they’re the ones orchestrating the whole situation. These women get what they want then leave. Just ask anyone who works in elder care. These guys end up dying alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Despite what you read here, women expect a man of your age to have his finances in order. Take a picture wearing your most expensive outfit and be sure to include and fancy jewelry you might own. If you are well endowed, wear tight pants to show that off. Leaving your shirt unbuttoned so we can see if you have nice chest hair is also a plus. If you own a nice car or especially a boat then we need to know that too.
Basically seel yourself on why I should pick you over the 100s of options out there

please don't do that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This will probably be attacked, but as a recently divorced, fit, sane, attractive, realistic 49 year old man, the idea of starting a serious relationship with a woman over the age of, say, 41 is simply laughable. It's a nonstarter.

As for OP-don't buy the hype that you're relegated to 54 year old cat ladies. Every single one of my buddies that have been divorced ended up with a younger, prettier woman. Without exception.

The whole 'creepy old man looking for teenage girl' crap is just that. Crap.

Oh, and my ex is 40.

Good for you -- but you obviously prefer younger women. And you end up single again. Big woo.

Oh, a little summer fun with someone that has a little cash. It's a win-win for a young girl. They then do home to their younger boyfriends.

Seriously. I love how the 50 year old dudes act like they’re the ones orchestrating the whole situation. These women get what they want then leave. Just ask anyone who works in elder care. These guys end up dying alone.

Don't Care. Had sex

[Anonymous]

51yo woman here who did quite a bit of online dating in recent years (now off, in a relationship).

1. Pictures are the first and most important impression. You would not believe the number of guy profiles with incredibly bad pictures. Make sure someone, preferably a woman whose taste seems compatible with yours, helps you select your pictures. If you don't feel comfortable doing that, put a few pictures on photofeeler and consider the feedback. You should be well-groomed and attractively dressed and smiling in at least one of them (but not necessarily all of them). Pictures that a lot of guys seem to like to post but don't do anything for most women: pics with wildlife, fishing, wearing your team's shirt/hat, bathroom or car selfies, shirtless, posing with attractive women, ratty t-shirts with baggy shorts

2. Women being turned off by men with "younger only" age ranges is a thing. Raise your upper age to 55 even if that seems high to you. It'll look better.

3. The written portion of your profile should have good grammar, correct spelling, no emojis. It's fine to show a sense of humor, but more important to come across as tasteful and intelligent. Provide some details about yourself that show your individuality and will give fodder for conversation. Here are some good tips: https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/online-dating-advice/online-dating-profile-tips/online-dating-profile-examples-for-men/

4. Send a lot of messages, even to women you're not sure about. It's a numbers game.

5. The first message should be tailored to the recipient and show that you read her profile. Allude to something in her profile (other than her looks!), comment on some common ground/interest you have, and end with a question that invites response. No "hi, love your profile" or dead-end comments. You need to lead a conversation. Offer some information about yourself that shows you're real and sane and harmless.

6. If you get a positive response, propose a date fairly quickly. No texting back and forth for days.

7. Propose interesting, active dates - a visit to a museum, a city walk (not a trail hike; that would raise safety concerns for most women), an activity or performance.

8. Be a good, polite texter.

9. Read Modern Romance by Asis Anzari for a good examination of current dating behaviors and good tips on how to do it better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:51yo woman here who did quite a bit of online dating in recent years (now off, in a relationship).

1. Pictures are the first and most important impression. You would not believe the number of guy profiles with incredibly bad pictures. Make sure someone, preferably a woman whose taste seems compatible with yours, helps you select your pictures. If you don't feel comfortable doing that, put a few pictures on photofeeler and consider the feedback. You should be well-groomed and attractively dressed and smiling in at least one of them (but not necessarily all of them). Pictures that a lot of guys seem to like to post but don't do anything for most women: pics with wildlife, fishing, wearing your team's shirt/hat, bathroom or car selfies, shirtless, posing with attractive women, ratty t-shirts with baggy shorts

2. Women being turned off by men with "younger only" age ranges is a thing. Raise your upper age to 55 even if that seems high to you. It'll look better.

3. The written portion of your profile should have good grammar, correct spelling, no emojis. It's fine to show a sense of humor, but more important to come across as tasteful and intelligent. Provide some details about yourself that show your individuality and will give fodder for conversation. Here are some good tips: https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/online-dating-advice/online-dating-profile-tips/online-dating-profile-examples-for-men/

4. Send a lot of messages, even to women you're not sure about. It's a numbers game.

5. The first message should be tailored to the recipient and show that you read her profile. Allude to something in her profile (other than her looks!), comment on some common ground/interest you have, and end with a question that invites response. No "hi, love your profile" or dead-end comments. You need to lead a conversation. Offer some information about yourself that shows you're real and sane and harmless.

6. If you get a positive response, propose a date fairly quickly. No texting back and forth for days.

7. Propose interesting, active dates - a visit to a museum, a city walk (not a trail hike; that would raise safety concerns for most women), an activity or performance.

8. Be a good, polite texter.

9. Read Modern Romance by Asis Anzari for a good examination of current dating behaviors and good tips on how to do it better.

Really? Aziz Ansari? For dating tips?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This will probably be attacked, but as a recently divorced, fit, sane, attractive, realistic 49 year old man, the idea of starting a serious relationship with a woman over the age of, say, 41 is simply laughable. It's a nonstarter.

As for OP-don't buy the hype that you're relegated to 54 year old cat ladies. Every single one of my buddies that have been divorced ended up with a younger, prettier woman. Without exception.

The whole 'creepy old man looking for teenage girl' crap is just that. Crap.

Oh, and my ex is 40.

Same here. I’m a 50yo divorced and fit professional. I’m seriously balding, but so are plenty of younger guys. My current serious girlfriend is 39. I have no problems keeping her satisfied.

I would not really consider a woman over around 42 or so. I don’t know where these women are from who say they would never date a guy in his 50s. I can only think they are from flyover country and think men in their 50s are all washed up. I’ve never looked better. Same for several of my friends.

Just be yourself. If you’re in the DC area you will find plenty of divorced women in their late 30s who are interesting and attractive. Don’t push the sex up front. Be genuinely interested in people. You will do fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. Great advice. Very helpful suggestions on the photos. For the profile. What are you looking for? It seems listing interest is over done. How much detail? Kids? Ages? What makes you swipe right? The photos? The profile?

And a comment on the age topic. I think 40 is my very low end and top is 53. The one thing that is making me hesitant approaching women is my apparent horrible judge of age. I have talked to some 50 year olds that look 40 or younger and 40 year olds that appear closer to 50. Any advice on that?

My advice on that, as a 50 year old divorced woman who is constantly pegged as approx. 10 years younger .... ask yourself why you care at all whether the woman is 40, 44, or 51. I'm serious. What difference do those ages make to you (assuming her appearance, demeanor and basic demographic details meet your threshold.)? Do you want to have more babies? Are you hoping to retire simultaneously with your next partner? Etc.

How do women not understand this? It's about sex. 35 year old sex is better than 55 year old sex

Why would a 35 year old woman in her sexual prime want to roll the dice with a 50 year old?

Why? Maybe because he’s fun and interesting. And dudes in their late thirties who have their shit together are hard to come by.

[Anonymous]

Dude, an almost 40 divorced woman is not the same thing as a never married 30 year old. You are only 10 years apart. She is divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Despite what you read here, women expect a man of your age to have his finances in order. Take a picture wearing your most expensive outfit and be sure to include and fancy jewelry you might own. If you are well endowed, wear tight pants to show that off. Leaving your shirt unbuttoned so we can see if you have nice chest hair is also a plus. If you own a nice car or especially a boat then we need to know that too.
Basically seel yourself on why I should pick you over the 100s of options out there

This is clearly one of the Real Housewives of New Jersey posting this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This will probably be attacked, but as a recently divorced, fit, sane, attractive, realistic 49 year old man, the idea of starting a serious relationship with a woman over the age of, say, 41 is simply laughable. It's a nonstarter.

As for OP-don't buy the hype that you're relegated to 54 year old cat ladies. Every single one of my buddies that have been divorced ended up with a younger, prettier woman. Without exception.

The whole 'creepy old man looking for teenage girl' crap is just that. Crap.

Oh, and my ex is 40.

Why are you divorced?

The odds are not in your favor as a divorced man, remarrying with more than a 5-year age gap.

Why are you so much better than the women your age?

I understand if a man is bitter because no women his own age wanted him when he was younger, and now he is marrying for the first time and feels entitled to a much younger bride. I don't see the reasoning of a man who is divorced already from a younger woman, not gaining introspection on the age gap.

[Anonymous]

Jennifer Lopez is 48. Mariah Carey is 48. Halle Berry is 51. Lucy Lui is 50. Naomi Watts is 50.

The list of attractive women over the age of 45 continues.

Age is just a number OP.

I am a 48 year old woman, single, no kids, had my tubes tied. Healthy, fun, petite, and had a blast at my 30 year high school reunion.

The women in my class are able to stay younger with hair styles and staying fit and wearing nice clothes. The men can't hide their age as well.

It's just so much more fun for me and for the guys to be around people our own age, not too old and not too young.

We have the same cultural and historical references and like the same music.

Men who just want to date a younger woman for the sake of impressing other men or proving they still got it, are probably shallow and not able to commit to long term relationships.