Question for Women - Dating advice for 51 year old man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

And yes, he will be evaluated on his lack of savings, so he will need to up his "game" in other areas. Why do you think women should find men attractive that bring nothing to the relationship? Why?

And what do you bring other than an appreciation for his money?

You need to flip the script and ask who’s really the gold digger in some of these scenarios.

I’m a 50-something woman who worked full-time while raising two kids. I’m now ready to retire, and I’m in a good position financially because I saved (and
even XDH taking some of it in the divorce didn’t hurt me too much).

Do I really need a man with no savings and lots of debt? Do I want to say goodbye to my dreams of traveling because it’s going to be harder for two to live on savings for one? No. And that’s why I always swipe left when you say you’re “self employed” (euphemism for “laid off” unless there are other indications you actually work) or when you post a picture of your band that you say is your job.

[Anonymous]

I’m now ready to retire, and I’m in a good position financially because I saved (and
even XDH taking some of it in the divorce didn’t hurt me too much).

Do I really need a man with no savings and lots of debt? Do I want to say goodbye to my dreams of traveling because it’s going to be harder for two to live on savings for one?

If you’re effectively not on the market, don’t pretend to be on the market. Put in your profile “rich doctors only” if you’re even going to be on a dating site. You’re set for retirement and you don’t want to be bothered. Stay out the hair of the rest of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
+100,000

Did you notice, OP never asked or said anything about age? And this is what he gets. Frumpy DC Mommies projecting their primal fear of young women against his desire for a freaking date.

I don't even know why I come here. Maybe 'cause I just love it.

Me too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Keep telling yourself that, dude. Most men over 50 are balding and overweight, with serious erectile dysfunction problems.

We got more money, which you biologically crave.

Enjoy having the tables turned!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
The only reason a younger woman dates an older 50+ Mr. softy is that she has a daddy complex or he has plenty of loot to share.

Why do I care? Just be hot, fun and ready to put out. Then when I get what I want, I'll give her the boot and move on to the next woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Didn’t think this would stick around as a topic. I found this very informative. Great advice. Thank you. I feel much better at my dating future. While divorce is a financial drain, I am coming out of it in decent shape with no long term obligations. I am in good shape, in the upper half of the room or better on the attractive side and I am not dick. That had to count for something. In addition to some of the specific advice, the main thing I am taking away from this is that I need to get comfortable with rejection and take a shot. While I personally don’t want to pursue someone that is clearly in their 20s, I am sure I will approach someone that turns out to be in their 30s. I guess at that point it is up to them. Thanks again for all the advice and I will keep reading.

You are entitled to experiment a bit, so please go after the 30 somethings. You will need to get this out of your system before you seriously start dating. Be careful and wear a condom though, or better yet, get a vasectomy. You do not want to start off paying child support out of your social security check.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
+100,000

Did you notice, OP never asked or said anything about age? And this is what he gets. Frumpy DC Mommies projecting their primal fear of young women against his desire for a freaking date.

I don't even know why I come here. Maybe 'cause I just love it.

Me too

This is what OP said after the first few responses: "OP. Great advice. Very helpful suggestions on the photos. For the profile. What are you looking for? It seems listing interest is over done. How much detail? Kids? Ages? What makes you swipe right? The photos? The profile?

And a comment on the age topic. I think 40 is my very low end and top is 53. The one thing that is making me hesitant approaching women is my apparent horrible judge of age. I have talked to some 50 year olds that look 40 or younger and 40 year olds that appear closer to 50. Any advice on that?"

So OP will consider a woman up to 11 years younger and up to two years older-that's why many commenters are commenting on age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
But hey, if someone whose looks and fertility are plummeting wants to turn her nose up at some guy who is 55, that's fine. Enjoy playing with your cats.

Nailed it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I think what you've hit upon is that older women have higher standards and are also ok with being alone.

Sorry, beta boys.

Enjoy Cat Lady Land

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Ugh. Please don't do this. It's fine if you want to chat without an ulterior motive. But, when you do that and then try to trade up for my number, it leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth. I am not out in the world on constant sexual or romantic display for your availability. Also, there is no way I am going to go out with some rando who approaches me on the street - that's dangerous.

Good to see you have your bitch shield on full blast!

Poor baby, a man might express sexual interest in you. How will you survive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, don't underestimate the power of an expensive car, a nice watch and a large . . . portfolio.

Exactly! Men age like fine wine...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You should understand that they are countering the male posters that say that women are only valued in their youth. It's simply that . . . or maybe in the DCUM world, they are bringing the same thing to the table and want someone who is equally yoked. Are you stating that we should not seek similar qualities in a mate? Are you saying that a woman who is active, gorgeous, fit, 400k salary, well-known in her field, should find a man who has one quarter of the qualities that she has, attractive?

Underemployed men? Did you just use that term? Well, I am a WOC and I have a whole lot to say to you if you think that I should be attracted to an underemployed man. BTW, men are not judged on being simply underemployed, it is what he is doing to correct the situation, how he is working an extra job to pay those medical bills, and DARNIT, what is he doing dating if he has a dying spouse. Its a spouse. You aren't even making sense. So you condone cheating if the spouse is dying? Boy, that is counter to much of the stuff that I read here.

EXAUSTING!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Are you saying that a woman who is active, gorgeous, fit, 400k salary, well-known in her field, should find a man who has one quarter of the qualities that she has, attractive?

Enjoy being alone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Are you stating that we should not seek similar qualities in a mate? Are you saying that a woman who is active, gorgeous, fit, 400k salary, well-known in her field, should find a man who has one quarter of the qualities that she has, attractive?

This attitude right here is why I stopped dating Western women and solely focus on Latin American women. Western women have ridiculous standards, act like snobby bitches and then whine and cry when Western men can't and refuse to meet their ridiculous standards.

Latin American women, on the other hand, ADORE Western men. They're beyond beautiful, are kind, loving, and generous. They look for reasons to date men as opposed to looking for reasons to NOT date men.

How refreshing!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Maybe you should work on your understanding of the language. And yes, he will be evaluated on his lack of savings, so he will need to up his "game" in other areas. Why do you think women should find men attractive that bring nothing to the relationship? Why? I guess ED is OK too, as long as he is sweet and nice.

You have a disgusting attitude. Women age like milk, alright...