Worst wedding ever

[Anonymous]

Wahhhhhhh! Waaaaahhhhhhh! Waaaahhhhhhhh!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I gave too much info. What I should have asked is: how many people invite guests to a wedding and then rescind the invitation once guests arrive?

If your children do not receive their own invitation, they are not invited. I think you misread this situation, OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I gave too much info. What I should have asked is: how many people invite guests to a wedding and then rescind the invitation once guests arrive?

If your children do not receive their own invitation, they are not invited. I think you misread this situation, OP

NP +1.

And the answer is that invited people who behave badly at an event are asked to leave all the time.

You all sound like drama queens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you need to stop responding to everyone commenting on this thread. People don't understand and it's making you frustrated.

New poster.
I agree with this PP. I think your situation at the wedding was awful for you, DH and kids, and that the PPs (maybe just one jerk) are just trying to bait you by insisting somehow everything is your fault. Ignore.

The issue now isn't the wedding but how to go forward. I'd just start being too busy for a while to see brother and new SIL unless you run into them at future all-family functions. You said at the very beginning that your brother has mental health issues so it shouldn't be a surprise that he'd turn on you somehow during a very high-stress event like a wedding. It sounds as if his new wife either has issues too, or was so wound up about the wedding (or wound up by her mom? Is that the MIL you mean?...) that she blurted a lot of ridiculously contradictory things (please bring kid to participate; kid not welcome other than as a prop in the ceremony; kids welcome at reception; but not really, and not on dance floor....). I might cut new SIL more slack than I'd cut him, and that still wouldn't be much slack -- right now. But in time, if he gets help and if she calms down, they might be OK to be around as see-you-at-holidays relatives, as long as there's no political talk. Give yourself cooling-off space (though you are, I agree, the aggrieved one here).

Do you know if the new SIL really knows your brother has issues? Does she truly understand them or has he maybe sold her the idea that he's fine but his family is mean and thinks he's nutty for his politics or--?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And I did not force my kids on this wedding. People READ. The bride to my face told me to bring her kids and it was important to her they were there.

Blah, blah, blah. You chose to involve yourself and your child in this toxic scenario. Own your choices.

?

I was invited to my brother’s wedding with my family. My extended family who are ill drove in to come. Why would I not “involve” myself by RSVPing? I didn’t know MIL was a nut job and thought it would be a normal wedding. And I have attended weddings before, as have my kids.

And you had a huge fight with your brother, and then you were asked to not bring your child to this and that...

I didn’t have a huge fight with my brother. Stop making shit up.

UMMM...in your own words: "He said something along the lines that I’m a horrible person and he hopes I lose my job. He is actually somewhat mentally ill so it is not unusual."

And yet you still chose to attend.

Cat got your tongue, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:New update: apparently MIL is more perverse than I realized. She was making mean comments to my mom all night as well. I think her targeting our kids was actually just away to hurt my mom because she knew it would. My mom didn’t eat and spent the whole night crying in the bathroom because they had previously talked apparently about how important it was to my mom to have the grandkids there.

So it turns out this isn’t about the kids at all.

Sounds like a drama fest.

Holiday get-togethers should be barrels of fun.

[Anonymous]

Seriously you should have just stayed home with the kids and sent your husband. Hind site is always 20/20. Moving forward I would use this as a valuable learning experience and distance yourself big time from your brother and inlaws. If your husband wants to see them that is on him.

[Anonymous]

I don't think the OP's kids were in the wedding/flower girls. I don't think the kids were really invited, either. I think the mom probably said they were but the actual couple didn't want them there at all.

[Anonymous]

The lack of reading comprehension is bad on this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I gave too much info. What I should have asked is: how many people invite guests to a wedding and then rescind the invitation once guests arrive?

If your children do not receive their own invitation, they are not invited. I think you misread this situation, OP

They did receive their own invitation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously you should have just stayed home with the kids and sent your husband. Hind site is always 20/20. Moving forward I would use this as a valuable learning experience and distance yourself big time from your brother and inlaws. If your husband wants to see them that is on him.

I don’t have to see them... it’s my new sister in laws parents. I am te sister of the groom, DH was in the wedding (my brother’s groomsmen were all relatives, brides were all friends).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you need to stop responding to everyone commenting on this thread. People don't understand and it's making you frustrated.

New poster.
I agree with this PP. I think your situation at the wedding was awful for you, DH and kids, and that the PPs (maybe just one jerk) are just trying to bait you by insisting somehow everything is your fault. Ignore.

The issue now isn't the wedding but how to go forward. I'd just start being too busy for a while to see brother and new SIL unless you run into them at future all-family functions. You said at the very beginning that your brother has mental health issues so it shouldn't be a surprise that he'd turn on you somehow during a very high-stress event like a wedding. It sounds as if his new wife either has issues too, or was so wound up about the wedding (or wound up by her mom? Is that the MIL you mean?...) that she blurted a lot of ridiculously contradictory things (please bring kid to participate; kid not welcome other than as a prop in the ceremony; kids welcome at reception; but not really, and not on dance floor....). I might cut new SIL more slack than I'd cut him, and that still wouldn't be much slack -- right now. But in time, if he gets help and if she calms down, they might be OK to be around as see-you-at-holidays relatives, as long as there's no political talk. Give yourself cooling-off space (though you are, I agree, the aggrieved one here).

Both my brother and SIL have mental health issues and disabilities. We were ALL invited to the wedding (Kids too) and had MULTIPLE conversations with the family about bringing them. They had no issue with them coming to the ceremony and the reception until the day of. I agreed to not come to the ceremony with them to be polite (would’ve been nice in advance but whatevs) and they said that’s fine just come to the reception. And then at the reception MIL made snarky comments to my mom and then basically told us to leave. And yes, my brother’s mean outburst to me was precedentes by surprise surprise, his hatred for his New MIL though he took it out on my bc I have different political beliefs (it was so random and only people with a mentally ill family member will understand which is why everyone is calling it a fight when it wasn’t).

Moving forward... just going to console my mom and avoid the ILs.

Do you know if the new SIL really knows your brother has issues? Does she truly understand them or has he maybe sold her the idea that he's fine but his family is mean and thinks he's nutty for his politics or--?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you need to stop responding to everyone commenting on this thread. People don't understand and it's making you frustrated.

New poster.
I agree with this PP. I think your situation at the wedding was awful for you, DH and kids, and that the PPs (maybe just one jerk) are just trying to bait you by insisting somehow everything is your fault. Ignore.

The issue now isn't the wedding but how to go forward. I'd just start being too busy for a while to see brother and new SIL unless you run into them at future all-family functions. You said at the very beginning that your brother has mental health issues so it shouldn't be a surprise that he'd turn on you somehow during a very high-stress event like a wedding. It sounds as if his new wife either has issues too, or was so wound up about the wedding (or wound up by her mom? Is that the MIL you mean?...) that she blurted a lot of ridiculously contradictory things (please bring kid to participate; kid not welcome other than as a prop in the ceremony; kids welcome at reception; but not really, and not on dance floor....). I might cut new SIL more slack than I'd cut him, and that still wouldn't be much slack -- right now. But in time, if he gets help and if she calms down, they might be OK to be around as see-you-at-holidays relatives, as long as there's no political talk. Give yourself cooling-off space (though you are, I agree, the aggrieved one here).

Do you know if the new SIL really knows your brother has issues? Does she truly understand them or has he maybe sold her the idea that he's fine but his family is mean and thinks he's nutty for his politics or--?

I’m going to end here. Thank you so much PP! I feel heard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And I did not force my kids on this wedding. People READ. The bride to my face told me to bring her kids and it was important to her they were there.

Blah, blah, blah. You chose to involve yourself and your child in this toxic scenario. Own your choices.

?

I was invited to my brother’s wedding with my family. My extended family who are ill drove in to come. Why would I not “involve” myself by RSVPing? I didn’t know MIL was a nut job and thought it would be a normal wedding. And I have attended weddings before, as have my kids.

And you had a huge fight with your brother, and then you were asked to not bring your child to this and that...

I didn’t have a huge fight with my brother. Stop making shit up.

UMMM...in your own words: "He said something along the lines that I’m a horrible person and he hopes I lose my job. He is actually somewhat mentally ill so it is not unusual."

And yet you still chose to attend.

Cat got your tongue, OP?

?

[Anonymous]

Got a text from my brother. He said he was sorry about MIL because she sucks. He said he wished he got to dance with the kids.

So not only did MIL ruin the wedding for us, she made it less fun for her new SIL.