I Made A Fool Of Mysef.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You had so much to drink that you're not sure if he wore a condom or not, you were a little too freaky for your comfort the next morning and you did something out of character. You're busy worrying whether he will call you back. You should be thinking about your drinking issues. That tipsy on 2 glasses of wine is pretty unlikely. Either you drank more than you thought, you mixed meds and drinking or someone put something in your drink. The most likely answer is you drank more than you thought or are admitting. That's a red flag. It's also a red flag that you drank to such an extent to relieve your anxiety. I'm not saying you're an alcoholic, but your drinking is unhealthy and risky and you ought to reconsider your boundaries on that.

Having sex with a new partner for the first time and NOT using protection is pretty reckless and stupid. Pray to god you didn't get pregnant and pray to god you don't develop an STD down the road. Then you're REALLY going to be wondering why dudes are getting back to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he hasn’t texted back, he’s not a gentleman and you don’t want anything more to do with him. Live and learn, get STD testing and move on. No big deal.

Notice how she's still hanging onto him despite him blowing her off.

Let that be a lesson, boys.

It’s been one day. She’s not hanging on to anyone. Just trying to figure out the situation.

[Anonymous]

This is small, and just a personal pet peeve with texting that I have. But hi isn’t really a conversation starter. it’s a slow molasses start that kinda annoys me. Asking an open ended question is always helpful. something like “it was nice to see you the other night! How is your day going?” Or follow up to a part of the convo you had last. “So did you end up finding a birthday gift for Larlo in time, or are you still looking?” It’s a bit more engaging than just a hello, and in your case, it also cloaks any insecurity you may be grappling with.

He’s still an asshole for not responding.

[Anonymous]

Op, I never have sex as early as the third date and I've been told on this board that's why men ditch me! Yet people are now implying you're slutty for doing so. Society send such mixed signals - women can't win....

Don't beat yourself up. He's an ass if he doesn't text you back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he hasn’t texted back, he’s not a gentleman and you don’t want anything more to do with him. Live and learn, get STD testing and move on. No big deal.

Notice how she's still hanging onto him despite him blowing her off.

Let that be a lesson, boys.

Most boys already know that if you want to sleep with her again, don't text her right back. Make her needy. It seems to have worked on OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went on a third with a great guy on Sunday. I’ve been single for a long time and I really like him. We met through mutual friends a month before our first date, but haven’t hung out together until last weekend. I drank too much because I was so nervous. I rarely drink ( maybe 1-2 times every 6 months), and I’m a lightweight - two glasses of wine makes me pretty tipsy. We ended up having sex, which again, is out of character for me. Things are a big fwill guy, but I was more freaky than usual in the beginning, and we didn’t use protection, at least I think. I sent him a text yesterday with a quick “Hi”, with no reply back. I don’t know where to go from here or what to do.

So he's a great guy and you really like him but he can't text back after having freaky unprotected sex with you. Okaaaay....he sounds like a keeper.

[Anonymous]

That's horrible -- to manipulate a woman that you like. Twisted kind of, you know.

[Anonymous]

Did you have drunk butt sex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is small, and just a personal pet peeve with texting that I have. But hi isn’t really a conversation starter. it’s a slow molasses start that kinda annoys me. Asking an open ended question is always helpful. something like “it was nice to see you the other night! How is your day going?” Or follow up to a part of the convo you had last. “So did you end up finding a birthday gift for Larlo in time, or are you still looking?” It’s a bit more engaging than just a hello, and in your case, it also cloaks any insecurity you may be grappling with.

He’s still an asshole for not responding.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You had so much to drink that you're not sure if he wore a condom or not, you were a little too freaky for your comfort the next morning and you did something out of character. You're busy worrying whether he will call you back. You should be thinking about your drinking issues. That tipsy on 2 glasses of wine is pretty unlikely. Either you drank more than you thought, you mixed meds and drinking or someone put something in your drink. The most likely answer is you drank more than you thought or are admitting. That's a red flag. It's also a red flag that you drank to such an extent to relieve your anxiety. I'm not saying you're an alcoholic, but your drinking is unhealthy and risky and you ought to reconsider your boundaries on that.

Op here. I don’t have a drinking problem. I almost never drink, which is what I said in my first post. I am 5’1 and 110lbs. 2 glasses of wine can get me pretty tipsy. I drink maybe 1-2 times a year, tops. Before Saturday night, I had not drank in almost a year, because I don’t like the taste. I do not take any medication of any kind. I was nervous, and we ended up splitting a bottle of wine. I will be damned if I will be made out as a bad person or someone who has a drinking problem, when it’s not true.

I'm not saying you're a bad person OP. I'm not saying you have an alcohol problem. I said your drinking is unhealthy and risky, even if it only happens a few times a year. I actually think it's fine to sleep with someone on the third date, or even first date, so I'm not calling you slutty either.

But it's clear that excessive alcohol (excessive for YOU) helped you do something that was unusual for YOU and about which YOU have expressed some discomfort and which carried health risks (being unsure if you had protected or unprotected sex is risky with anyone).

If you "Split a bottle", a standard wine bottle has around 5 5oz/150 ml pours, so you probably drank at least 2.5 glasses, more if he was pouring more generously for you instead of himself in the hope of loosening you up.

My point is you drank too much for YOU and you should really think about better drinking boundaries. At your weight maybe one is your max. Or slow it down and alternate with more water or add in some food. You should also think about other ways to manage your anxiety. Why were you nervous? Why did you choose to lubricate that with alcohol rather than talking to him, or talking to a friend, or slowing things down, or whatever?

[Anonymous]

It's awful on his part to ignore you after you had sex, but I feel like he can"t really completely ghost you since you have mutual friends. No one really wants that kind of reputation. He might be just trying to word his text. In any case, it doesn't look good if he neither texted first or responded right away. But don't think you made a fool of yourself. Take it as an experience and hopefully you can move on quickly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I don't know...my wife flies her freak flag when she's drunk and it's pretty damn good. When I see her getting lit, I stop drinking because I know it's going to be a good night.

My husband comments on DCUM??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Op here. We had our first date on Friday, 2/23, second date was Sunday, 2/25, and third date was on Saturday, 3/3.

I'd bet big $$ that he will text you back next weekend when he's ready for a booty call. So start thinking about how you feel about that because the way you are pining for his attention, I'm afraid you will fall right down the slippery slope back into his bed.

Which is ok if that's what you want.

[Anonymous]

The guy is a common jerk.

Thank your lucky stars you found this out sooner rather than later.

You dodged a very powerful bullet.

It is clear now he only wanted ONE thing from you.
Once he got it, he was gone.
In a flash.

[Anonymous]

Did you sleep with this guy by any chance?
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/709462.page