S/O Do women play "hard to get" anymore?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Men like the chase. There is definitely something fulfilling about having a crush on a woman, being creative in wining and dining, seducing her out of the bedroom, which eventually leads to anticipation and hopefully great sex and a relationship.

Sounds like you're describing a movie character, or maybe 1 actual guy out of 50.

Wow your dating life must be SAD! This describes my then boyfriend now DH in our 20’s when I made him wait and work for me. Romance

No, it's just that many or most men run with opportunities and skip women who don't make time. "Made him wait" suggests he liked you for the time you did share, not because you weren't easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Men like the chase. There is definitely something fulfilling about having a crush on a woman, being creative in wining and dining, seducing her out of the bedroom, which eventually leads to anticipation and hopefully great sex and a relationship.

Sounds like you're describing a movie character, or maybe 1 actual guy out of 50.

Wow your dating life must be SAD! This describes my then boyfriend now DH in our 20’s when I made him wait and work for me. Romance

No, it's just that many or most men run with opportunities and skip women who don't make time. "Made him wait" suggests he liked you for the time you did share, not because you weren't easy.

If you consider yourself just another “opportunity “ then I guess his makes sense. I wasn’t looking for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Men like the chase. There is definitely something fulfilling about having a crush on a woman, being creative in wining and dining, seducing her out of the bedroom, which eventually leads to anticipation and hopefully great sex and a relationship.

Sounds like you're describing a movie character, or maybe 1 actual guy out of 50.

Wow your dating life must be SAD! This describes my then boyfriend now DH in our 20’s when I made him wait and work for me. Romance

No, it's just that many or most men run with opportunities and skip women who don't make time. "Made him wait" suggests he liked you for the time you did share, not because you weren't easy.

If you consider yourself just another “opportunity “ then I guess his makes sense. I wasn’t looking for that.

And I did “make time” just not last minute dates, texting marathons, or initiate anything the first few dates. And kissed him goodnight at my door after dates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men like the chase. There is definitely something fulfilling about having a crush on a woman, being creative in wining and dining, seducing her out of the bedroom, which eventually leads to anticipation and hopefully great sex and a relationship.

This isn't that different than anything else in life. You gain more fulfillment from working for something meaningful, even if its hard to get at first. Saving money for your first guitar is more meaningful than having your rich parents give it to you. Spending time to prepare a gourmet meal and eating it slowly is more satisfying than McDonalds fast food.

Men also can have sex just to scratch an itch. Or because it's there. A man with a high sex drive is not fully in control of his decisions (no I am not talking about rape, I am talking about the ability to say no if a woman is willing to have sex with you on the first date).

It's not so much that men don't respect women who have sex on the first date or are easy to catch, but that it doesn't allow the longing, anticipation, excitement to build.

Do you get how bad you just made men look?

?? Are you a man? I am. I am not trying to make a man look good or bad, it's just reality. What part is surprising to you? That men like the chase? That they will still have indiscriminate sex with most willing women? That they make really, really bad decisions with their penis, often times impulsive ones?

And reality is that an awful lot of the #metoo movement is about women saying that an awful lot of men donshitty things that they think are totally fine, and women are not interested in continuing to tolerate it. So sure, do what you want, but it doesn't make you a good guy.

[Anonymous]

It seems to me that op is conflating the loss of that particular seduction-storyline (the loss of ‘playing hard to get’ that girls/women used to do) with the loss of all seduction.

Get some new moves

Btw, you might have remembered them from long ago because you were interacting with women/girls who were also younger and didn’t know how to respond with surety.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, WTH was up with sticking his fingers in her mouth???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, WTH was up with sticking his fingers in her mouth???

Ew

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems to me that op is conflating the loss of that particular seduction-storyline (the loss of ‘playing hard to get’ that girls/women used to do) with the loss of all seduction.

Get some new moves

Btw, you might have remembered them from long ago because you were interacting with women/girls who were also younger and didn’t know how to respond with surety.

Doesn't "seduction" necessarily include an element of overcoming reluctance? (Even if the reluctance is pretend?) There has to be an element of coaxing involved in seduction, right? How can you "seduce" if both parties are forthright about being happy to get to an end result?

The only way I can see seduction, of a sort, without reluctance is in a role playing scenario where you agree to the scene beforehand. Then the reluctance and overcoming it is part of the scene.

If I'm wrong, and you can describe a scenario that involves seduction without reluctance or coaxing, I'd appreciate it.

[Anonymous]

I'm a guy, and I don't "enjoy the chase" in my relationships, whether they be romantic or otherwise. I'm not a predator and I don't enjoy thinking of women as my prey.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems to me that op is conflating the loss of that particular seduction-storyline (the loss of ‘playing hard to get’ that girls/women used to do) with the loss of all seduction.

Get some new moves

Btw, you might have remembered them from long ago because you were interacting with women/girls who were also younger and didn’t know how to respond with surety.

Doesn't "seduction" necessarily include an element of overcoming reluctance? (Even if the reluctance is pretend?) There has to be an element of coaxing involved in seduction, right? How can you "seduce" if both parties are forthright about being happy to get to an end result?

The only way I can see seduction, of a sort, without reluctance is in a role playing scenario where you agree to the scene beforehand. Then the reluctance and overcoming it is part of the scene.

If I'm wrong, and you can describe a scenario that involves seduction without reluctance or coaxing, I'd appreciate it.

I bet you would!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems to me that op is conflating the loss of that particular seduction-storyline (the loss of ‘playing hard to get’ that girls/women used to do) with the loss of all seduction.

Get some new moves

Btw, you might have remembered them from long ago because you were interacting with women/girls who were also younger and didn’t know how to respond with surety.

Doesn't "seduction" necessarily include an element of overcoming reluctance? (Even if the reluctance is pretend?) There has to be an element of coaxing involved in seduction, right? How can you "seduce" if both parties are forthright about being happy to get to an end result?

The only way I can see seduction, of a sort, without reluctance is in a role playing scenario where you agree to the scene beforehand. Then the reluctance and overcoming it is part of the scene.

If I'm wrong, and you can describe a scenario that involves seduction without reluctance or coaxing, I'd appreciate it.

It depends on how you define seduction. If I'm on a date and not sure whether I want to sleep with the guy, a positive "seduction" would be having a great date where we had fun together, he paid attention to me and showed me his interest in me wasn't just about getting me into his bed. But if we get to the end of the date, you've brought me home and I don't invite you inside, making up excuses for why you need to come in and then, once inside, trying to grab me and kiss me despite me saying it's late and you should go, that's not a good thing you're doing, even if you eventually get me to do something with you (because I might just be doing it not out of desire but out of fear that if I don't give in, you'll do something even worse).

[Anonymous]

I am a guy. If the woman is not interested I do not interpret it as “playing hard to get”. I interpret it as she is not interested and I move along. There are many women who do not play games, expect you to read their mind or say no when they mean yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems to me that op is conflating the loss of that particular seduction-storyline (the loss of ‘playing hard to get’ that girls/women used to do) with the loss of all seduction.

Get some new moves

Btw, you might have remembered them from long ago because you were interacting with women/girls who were also younger and didn’t know how to respond with surety.

Doesn't "seduction" necessarily include an element of overcoming reluctance? (Even if the reluctance is pretend?) There has to be an element of coaxing involved in seduction, right? How can you "seduce" if both parties are forthright about being happy to get to an end result?

The only way I can see seduction, of a sort, without reluctance is in a role playing scenario where you agree to the scene beforehand. Then the reluctance and overcoming it is part of the scene.

If I'm wrong, and you can describe a scenario that involves seduction without reluctance or coaxing, I'd appreciate it.

It depends on how you define seduction. If I'm on a date and not sure whether I want to sleep with the guy, a positive "seduction" would be having a great date where we had fun together, he paid attention to me and showed me his interest in me wasn't just about getting me into his bed. But if we get to the end of the date, you've brought me home and I don't invite you inside, making up excuses for why you need to come in and then, once inside, trying to grab me and kiss me despite me saying it's late and you should go, that's not a good thing you're doing, even if you eventually get me to do something with you (because I might just be doing it not out of desire but out of fear that if I don't give in, you'll do something even worse).

Dp. Having sex is always potentially on the table for you on first dates? I've been out of the game awhile, but I never had it in my mind that I might have sex on a first date. At the time, I believed that if you had sex straight away, there'd be no second date. I guess I was wrong?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems to me that op is conflating the loss of that particular seduction-storyline (the loss of ‘playing hard to get’ that girls/women used to do) with the loss of all seduction.

Get some new moves

Btw, you might have remembered them from long ago because you were interacting with women/girls who were also younger and didn’t know how to respond with surety.

Doesn't "seduction" necessarily include an element of overcoming reluctance? (Even if the reluctance is pretend?) There has to be an element of coaxing involved in seduction, right? How can you "seduce" if both parties are forthright about being happy to get to an end result?

The only way I can see seduction, of a sort, without reluctance is in a role playing scenario where you agree to the scene beforehand. Then the reluctance and overcoming it is part of the scene.

If I'm wrong, and you can describe a scenario that involves seduction without reluctance or coaxing, I'd appreciate it.

It depends on how you define seduction. If I'm on a date and not sure whether I want to sleep with the guy, a positive "seduction" would be having a great date where we had fun together, he paid attention to me and showed me his interest in me wasn't just about getting me into his bed. But if we get to the end of the date, you've brought me home and I don't invite you inside, making up excuses for why you need to come in and then, once inside, trying to grab me and kiss me despite me saying it's late and you should go, that's not a good thing you're doing, even if you eventually get me to do something with you (because I might just be doing it not out of desire but out of fear that if I don't give in, you'll do something even worse).

Well, o.k. If hanging out, having a good time, and not trying to get into her pants counts as "seduction," then I suppose I can see it. But that just sounds like a date. But that's not what comes to mind when I hear someone use the term "moves" (as PP referred to them) or "seduction."

[Anonymous]

Yep many of the women who like to play games attract the players. Players attract players. It’s funny watching some woman fall for a guy who is so smooth and charming....because he gets a lot of practice. He has three other women he is doing the same thing to as he plays with you.
It’s not that the guy is bad, most women are basically doing the same thing. Playing some “dork” or less desirable guy for dinner and drinks while looking for mr big. What do they call the these guys ...orbiters? I guess it’s all fun and games till someone plays you?