Any Stern Teachers at the Big 3??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let he or she who is without sin cast the first block....

[Anonymous]

I hate how all threads degenerate into "OP is a troll." Name-calling, pure and simple. And this thread in particular strikes me as a case where OP is certainly sincere and IME representative of a certain kind of parent reacting to her DC's first encounter with a real school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate how all threads degenerate into "OP is a troll." Name-calling, pure and simple. And this thread in particular strikes me as a case where OP is certainly sincere and IME representative of a certain kind of parent reacting to her DC's first encounter with a real school.

OP was obnoxious in her responses to PPs who had offered some solid advice.

And what do you mean by "real" school?

[Anonymous]

I think she meant as opposed to preschool.

[Anonymous]

Yes, that's what I meant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate how all threads degenerate into "OP is a troll." Name-calling, pure and simple. And this thread in particular strikes me as a case where OP is certainly sincere and IME representative of a certain kind of parent reacting to her DC's first encounter with a real school.

But isn't this a double-standard? OP has been very rude to people who were genuinely trying to help her, except OP didn't want their particular brand of advice. Can nobody be rude back to OP?

[Anonymous]

While it is truly tempting sometimes to express our real thoughts, it is of the highest mark to rise above it all and practice perfect etiquette. Sometimes, the example we set inspires others to rise to the challenge.

I will quote P. M. Forni, professor and author of Choosing Civility, who says that when we practice civility, we enhance the quality of our own lives as well as the lives of others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate how all threads degenerate into "OP is a troll." Name-calling, pure and simple. And this thread in particular strikes me as a case where OP is certainly sincere and IME representative of a certain kind of parent reacting to her DC's first encounter with a real school.

But isn't this a double-standard? OP has been very rude to people who were genuinely trying to help her, except OP didn't want their particular brand of advice. Can nobody be rude back to OP?

Hmm, maybe I just don't understand what is meant by troll. I thought a troll was someone who was posting just to start a fight -- that's why I indicated that I thought OP's post was sincere. She was asking a question that new-to-school-parents, especially those who consider themselves as practicing "positive" parenting, might easily find themselves confronting. In short, it's a real question and deserves real answers. I also thought that the function of calling someone a troll was to encourage ostracism -- e.g. "don't feed the troll." Maybe in this context, it was just meant as a way of saying "(I agree that) OP is being rude" or "OP is a jerk."

At any rate, I think that OP had a real question even though she has been rude (though not in her first post). I'm not of the school that it's rude to point out someone else's rudeness in the context of an internet discussion. (If we follow that logic, then civility will go out the window.) So no double-standard.* All I'm saying is that if you want to critique a poster's behavior, then critique the poster's behavior. But be substantive, don't just call names. And discussions will be more substantive if they address the part of the question that is worth addressing rather than focus exclusively on the tone/demeanor/subsequent behavior of the person who asked the question. If the question is a real one, odds are some readers other than the OP will care about the answer.

*Of course the double standard argument cuts both ways. I remember explaining to a K'er classmate of my daughter's that the Golden Rule was NOT "turnabout is fair play," LOL! It's "treat others as you would like to be treated" which, roughly, equates to "be the change you want to see."

[Anonymous]

This sounds so strage to me
I went to a school in another country. Teachers were stern and sometimes even mean
The culture of the land was one where teachers are respected. There was order in the classroom. It was the norm. At the same time the teachers were not child haters. We respected them, it was expected of us.

I do not uderstand the op at all.
Your kid should know his place as a pupil, internee, trainee etc. Nobody starts at the manager level, and your teachers are not servants.

Come to think of it. They should be the most respected professionals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This sounds so strage to me
I went to a school in another country. Teachers were stern and sometimes even mean
The culture of the land was one where teachers are respected. There was order in the classroom. It was the norm. At the same time the teachers were not child haters. We respected them, it was expected of us.

I do not uderstand the op at all.
Your kid should know his place as a pupil, internee, trainee etc. Nobody starts at the manager level, and your teachers are not servants.

Come to think of it. They should be the most respected professionals.

Stern and strict are acceptable. I like a little "sit down and be quiet" when it comes to education, but mean should never be tolerated. A mean teacher should be forced to find a new career.

[Anonymous]

I don't know where I come down on this. My kid isn't being raised to automatically defer to/respect those in authority. On the other hand, she is being raised to be considerate of others. I remember once saying to her that her K teacher had a fun job and her ever-so-serious 6 year old response was "But it comes with an awful lot of responsibility."

So I guess that the default is follow the rules unless they seem problematic to you (not just arbitrary or restrictive but problematic). If they seem problematic, first point out the problem and ask for clarification. If you're still not convinced, use your own judgment. If you think someone in authority is telling you to do something wrong or dangerous or hurtful, you can refuse. If you just disagree but no harm will be done by obeying, then follow instruction, but debrief about the issue at home (or with a higher authority at school).

At the level OP was talking about -- i.e. touching something you were told not to -- DC's attitude would be "well, it's not mine and it's the teacher's job to take care of it, so what she says goes."

[Anonymous]

Teachers are only human. Kids are mean to each other, sometimes mean to their teachers. There is only so much one person, who spends the day in a classroom full of modern day kids can do.
Sometimes you fight fire with fire.
Don't think your kid is the only child in the classroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds so strage to me
I went to a school in another country. Teachers were stern and sometimes even mean
The culture of the land was one where teachers are respected. There was order in the classroom. It was the norm. At the same time the teachers were not child haters. We respected them, it was expected of us.

I do not uderstand the op at all.
Your kid should know his place as a pupil, internee, trainee etc. Nobody starts at the manager level, and your teachers are not servants.

Come to think of it. They should be the most respected professionals.

Stern and strict are acceptable. I like a little "sit down and be quiet" when it comes to education, but mean should never be tolerated. A mean teacher should be forced to find a new career.

Right, but OP appears to conflate stern with mean.

[Anonymous]

I went to a UK public school (i.e. a private school) and they were mean as all heck. Spankings and crops over the desk in front of the class were common practice if you needed to be disciplined, as long as the parents consented. Different cultures i suppose. I think they were of thementality "spare the rod, spoil the child." Not sure if i agree, but it did make me very well behaved.

[Anonymous]

I agree, stern does not equal mean. As a practical matter, controlling a class of 15-20 kids requires a little sternness, because no teacher can possibly sweet-talk and negotiate with every single kid on an individual basis. As another practical matter, teachers are humans too -- is any one of us perfectly nice and cheerful every minute of the day? I didn't think so.

Mean is a different matter, and I wouldn't want that for my kid. But I wouldn't leave a school because of it, instead I'd talk to DC about how to deal with it.

Not that OP wants to hear any of this, but the rest of you seem interested in having this debate so that's my two cents....