Any Stern Teachers at the Big 3??

[Anonymous]

Think it's your turn to share 15:20. You did make random generalizations with no proof. 16:38 gave at least 3 personal experiences. What is your experience with traditional schools that (sic) "micro-manage and put up with a helluva lot"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - You did cast the first stone and continued to attack other posters throughout this thread. I say this with great sincerity - I wish for you to receive the wonderful gift of awareness and self-evaluation.

Why not give it to me then and tell me exactly where I cast the first stone? Paste that post here in your reply. I NEVER cast the first stone. I specifically asked that people not turn this into a debate or discussion about the appropriateness of the teacher's words. That wasn't subject to debate from my end. I had already determined she was rude and it was inappropriate. Instead, I simply wanted to know if teachers at the big 3 were spoken to this way by their teachers. Some posters wanted to debate the issue of what the teacher said and how she said it because perhaps it makes them feel badly for someone out there to think their kids are not being spoken to properly and they tolerate that. But this thread isn't about you or how you feel or whether my opinion on stern teachers makes you feel like a negligent or bad parent. Its clear thats where some wanted to take it because it's a knee jerk reaction, a defensive one...but I'm not going there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: For those kids who shrug off "We don't throw blocks in here" one can say, "Please do not throw blocks" and if it continues they can get a chat with the teacher privately about it to find out why they are doing that and to help them to realize that throwing blocks canhurt some one or break something. There are so many alternatives to "stop that!" I think that the vast majority of kids respond to this kind of disciplining. Those who don't may need a bit longer to respond. Very few kids don't respond at all.

Meanwhile, some other kid gets hit by a block.

No reason "stop that" isn't an appropriate first step, with explanation to follow, if necessary.

Okay so take the blocks away for that day then. But still, why yell orraise your voice???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is helpful for me as I try to figure out whether to send my kid to private or public. I want my kid to be disciplined in school, if necessary, and I can't stand the idea that some teacher, as an authority figure, will be expected to "politely" ask my child to stop doing something that breaks the rules or couls harm another child. No wonder so many kids these days are brats.

Great, send your kids to public then. Case resolved for you. My kid isn't a brat at all. In fact, he's oftentimes the most polite kid in class, the most nonaggressive kid in class and he goes to a private school. Most of the kids in his class are the most nonaggressive kids I know.

[Anonymous]

OP here. For goodness sake, now we are talking about bullying and very serious issues. DC did something relatively benign. He was touching something because he wanted to check it out. Teacher asked him not to but he still touched it again. He was not hurting anyone. It was not at risk for being broken. The teacher was just an impatient woman, thats all. So she raised her voice to him.

[Anonymous]

OP's post (page 1.): "You know, I specifically asked that this not turn into a debate of determining if the phrases the teacher used were rude. Yet you went there anyhow."

And there are more examples we can share..... but please don't make us.

OP - This is meant to help you - afterall, you came to us for advice. But considering that you have rubbed many of these posters the wrong way, you might want to take a step back and see how you are communicating. You sound like an involved, concerned parent and we would hate for your communication style to get in the way of how people perceive you. It detracts from your image and what you would like to accomplish.

[Anonymous]

OP, 19:07 has it right. If your communication style is anything like you've demonstrated here, you are going to alienate all your kid's teachers, and all the parents of his friends. You start off by telling people they can only debate your topic; you accuse other people of rude; and then you yourself get angry and tell us that our schools are in a hot southern place. If you can't manage your own anger, what does that say? The response of most other posters to you is unremittingly negative. Please, for your kid's sake, think long and hard about how you come across.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. For goodness sake, now we are talking about bullying and very serious issues. DC did something relatively benign. He was touching something because he wanted to check it out. Teacher asked him not to but he still touched it again. He was not hurting anyone. It was not at risk for being broken. The teacher was just an impatient woman, thats all. So she raised her voice to him.

OP - how many kids in your son's class? With three or four kids, very easy to have the patience and time to ask multiple times, and if necessary, stop what she is doing to go physically take the blocks from your son if he refused to listen. But, with a classroom of anywhere from 10-30 kids (I'm guessing) no teacher has that kind of time to respond in that way to every single kid. If your child doesn't obey, then unfortunately that's a lesson he is now learning in the classroom. I think what many PPs are trying to say to you is that it sounds as though your definition of stern is very different than the average person's, in which case you might be very disappointed in just about any structured classroom setting if you expect a teacher to have the time and inclination to give your child the same attention as you do in a one-on-one setting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Think it's your turn to share 15:20. You did make random generalizations with no proof. 16:38 gave at least 3 personal experiences. What is your experience with traditional schools that (sic) "micro-manage and put up with a helluva lot"?

No, I didn't make a generalization -- I made a conceptual point. There's no necessary relationship between the number of rules and the stringency of enforcement. Which is why I said "you can have a progressive school that...or a traditonal school that.." rather than progressives schools are X and traditional schools are not X.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

You know, I specifically asked that this not turn into a debate of determining if the phrases the teacher used were rude. Yet you went there anyhow.

This is not subject to debate, at least not from my end. It is rude to me and I don't speak to my child that way to get him to not do things. I woudl not speak to another adult that way either.

You yourself sound really stern in this post (and others you've made), to be quite frank. Something about pots calling kettles black?

[Anonymous]

I work at a big 3 and there are times when a teacher is stern and when a teacher is not. As someone who has worked with this age group I will say a few things:
-With 14-26 students in a class, you may have to be more stern with some student. Also, if I see something from across the room, I may have to raise the my voice to get a student's attention. Especially if it is a class filled with busy students talking and playing. That student may not hear me otherwise.
-Sometimes students aren't the best narrator of events.
-Be careful how you approach the teacher. You may come off as a pain.
-As a teacher of young children, not everything I say is going to be covered with sugar.

I'm not their parent. I am their teacher. Many students come to school from households where their parents debate requests and bargain with them.
In my class, my tone lets them know that they are to do whatever it is they are asked. It starts nice and then moves on from there.

[Anonymous]

OP is a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes young kids have a hard time interpreting tone. I can firmly tell a student to "Stop that!" w/o sounding mean. "Hands off now" is not rude. It's just a bit more to the point.

Unless you are there actually witnessing this, you don't really know.

I wouldn't say anything.

You know, I specifically asked that this not turn into a debate of determining if the phrases the teacher used were rude. Yet you went there anyhow.

This is not subject to debate, at least not from my end. It is rude to me and I don't speak to my child that way to get him to not do things. I woudl not speak to another adult that way either.

This was the first stone. After complaining about a teacher who "orders" children around, who doesn't treat them with "respect" and who doesn't say things in a "nice" way, you responded to someone you don't know, who was saying something potentially helpful, and using a neutral tone, by violating all three of your own standards. And you weren't even in a position of authority/responsibility comparable to a teacher's.

After this was pointed out, your tone got nastier rather than more polite. And other posters responded in kind.

[Anonymous]

Spot on 20:35. Btw, many thanks for doing the important job you do. It takes a special person to teach.

Your comments about the issues of children as narrators reminded me of our son's first teacher in Pre-K who told parents "If you only believe half of what your children tell you about us, we will only believe half of what they tell us about you." LOL!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is a troll.

Or is out on a pass from St Elizabeth's.