my dad hit my 12-year old

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Which culture are you from OP? Unless you're white, getting smacked by one's elders isn't exactly taboo if it's well-deserved. Since you agree that your own son can be a handful, I would say that it's better not to antagonize the situation. Your son learned an important lesson, whatever it was he did to get his punishment.

It isn't the smack that is the issue, but the secrecy surrounding it. You are correct that one smack probably wouldn't matter in a culture where it isn't taboo, but when an elder does such a smack, they don't hide it or add additional punishment for telling mom. If anything, ownership of the whole story by smacker and smackee is part of the deal.

Secrecy around violence toward children? Abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Shouldn't a 12 year old still be in school at this time of year? At least in MoCo, schools are still in session. This thread is 4 pages and no one has called troll yet?

Fairfax County is on break this week. Winter Break is December 18-January 1.

[Anonymous]

You drop your child in someone's else care for more than 2-3 days you should expect them to be able to punish them to appropriate standards. Whatever your son did, he admitted he had done something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You drop your child in someone's else care for more than 2-3 days you should expect them to be able to punish them to appropriate standards. Whatever your son did, he admitted he had done something.

Okay, and how do you know that corporal punishment was appropriate ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You drop your child in someone's else care for more than 2-3 days you should expect them to be able to punish them to appropriate standards. Whatever your son did, he admitted he had done something.

So you're saying that hitting a kid is an appropriate standard? Is that correct? Because if your answer is no, then what exactly is your point?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Which culture are you from OP? Unless you're white, getting smacked by one's elders isn't exactly taboo if it's well-deserved. Since you agree that your own son can be a handful, I would say that it's better not to antagonize the situation. Your son learned an important lesson, whatever it was he did to get his punishment.

I don't know any white kids that got hit growing up. I did witness black kids getting a beat down.

Exactly what I meant. Only white people would think what the OP described is taboo.

I am black and believe what OP's dad did is beyond crazy (and that OP has extremely poor judgment for even letting this happen the first place).

Another black parent who thinks this is crazy and would be on the first plane. No one hits my kid. My parents believe in spanking, and as a result they will never get visits from my child without me present.

[Anonymous]

Please go pick him up. This is one of those defining moments in your relationship with your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please go pick him up. This is one of those defining moments in your relationship with your kid.

NP: Agreed.

[Anonymous]

Your dad told your sister that he hurt himself playing? What is the nature of the injury? I hope you are already on a plane.

[Anonymous]

Nobody gets to discipline my child without my permission. Period. Your dad is the grandfather and that is not their job. My dad once hit (I'd say slight tap) my child on the head when the child was playing around and hit me in the head. I stood up to my dad and said, "No, that is not your role and place to do that"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You drop your child in someone's else care for more than 2-3 days you should expect them to be able to punish them to appropriate standards. Whatever your son did, he admitted he had done something.

So you're saying that hitting a kid is an appropriate standard? Is that correct? Because if your answer is no, then what exactly is your point?

Hitting, no. Spanking. Grounding. Removing privileges if possible, yes. You don't want your child disciplined, don't ask someone else to watch them.

[Anonymous]

I would fly your son home and nix your visit there until you can sort this all out. Get your kid back and hear him out. Call your dad and hear him out. Call your sister and hear her out. Combine all stories and see who you believe before making final judgments about future contact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please go pick him up. This is one of those defining moments in your relationship with your kid.

NP: Agreed.

NP and I agree as well or fly him home immediately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You drop your child in someone's else care for more than 2-3 days you should expect them to be able to punish them to appropriate standards. Whatever your son did, he admitted he had done something.

So you're saying that hitting a kid is an appropriate standard? Is that correct? Because if your answer is no, then what exactly is your point?

Hitting, no. Spanking. Grounding. Removing privileges if possible, yes. You don't want your child disciplined, don't ask someone else to watch them.

Uh...newsflash. Spanking is hitting. It's the exact same thing. It's just a word that you choose to use so it sounds less destructive and violent but it is the exact same thing. You are hitting[i][u] when you "spank".

[Anonymous]

Sorry this happened, OP. I can't tell you what to do, but if it were me and knowing my parents and my 12 year old, this would be a one-off and I would NOT hop on the next plane.If your father is more reactive and might do it again, I would get on the phone with him and say that if he hits my child ever again or uses a cruel punishment, that is the last time he will ever see him.