my dad hit my 12-year old

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I want to but I know no one there. My sister is 3 hours away. I could ask her but when I told her what happened, she said that dad had told her another story ("they were playing and he got hurt"). She also told me (which is true and I'm feeling very guilty) that I knew my dad was too old to handle watching a kid. I dismissed my fears because DS can really take care of himself but this was a huge mistake.

OP, you say you know it is a huge mistake. Book a flight ASAP and go to your son. These are defining moments and life and you need to decide who you want to be for your son. Your father is a grown man, your son is forming who he will be. Go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Which culture are you from OP? Unless you're white, getting smacked by one's elders isn't exactly taboo if it's well-deserved. Since you agree that your own son can be a handful, I would say that it's better not to antagonize the situation. Your son learned an important lesson, whatever it was he did to get his punishment.

Where did op say that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want to but I know no one there. My sister is 3 hours away. I could ask her but when I told her what happened, she said that dad had told her another story ("they were playing and he got hurt"). She also told me (which is true and I'm feeling very guilty) that I knew my dad was too old to handle watching a kid. I dismissed my fears because DS can really take care of himself but this was a huge mistake.

Omg then ask her already. Regardless of what really happened you do know something happened. You also know your dad is too old to do this and now he is pissed so not a good situation. You also know that your son is very upset and in an unstable situation.

You go now or your sister goes now and then you arrive on Saturday. I would personally go now.

ask your sister to pick up your nephew. Even if my sister was getting on my nerves, I would drive 3 hours or more to get to my nephew or niece under these circumstances. There is a child involved. Swallow your pride, be your son’s mom, and call her.

[Anonymous]

Or you could call CPS.

[Anonymous]

Get on a plane.

[Anonymous]

Get your son out immediately. I cannot imagine being 12 years old, across the country from my parents with someone who hit me and then withheld food! WTF! Your son is probably terrified! Have your sister get him right now and you get on the next plane. Grovel, pay her, whatever. And never leave your father alone with your son again.

[Anonymous]

Someone needs to get your son out of there now.

[Anonymous]

Posted above while other replies were coming in.

Your dad was violent with you growing up. That alone was enough to nix a solo visit. Add in the fact you knew dad was too old for this. I'm not piling on guilt, I'm noting that you may be trying way too hard to give your son some fantasy of a positive relationship with your dad that you didn't get. Please--once the immediate situation is resolved by your getting son out of there, consider some therapy to deal with your past and your belief that your dad can change for your son somehow and not be the man he was when you were growing up. Focus right now on DS (I'd ask sister to come get him, then head out there ASAP) but later I'd assess why you want DS to have a relationship with your dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get your son out immediately. I cannot imagine being 12 years old, across the country from my parents with someone who hit me and then withheld food! WTF! Your son is probably terrified! Have your sister get him right now and you get on the next plane. Grovel, pay her, whatever. And never leave your father alone with your son again.

DCUMers are exaggerating...is your son's life in danger? Unlikely. He'll be okay. Don't raise a snowflake.

[Anonymous]

Leave now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Which culture are you from OP? Unless you're white, getting smacked by one's elders isn't exactly taboo if it's well-deserved. Since you agree that your own son can be a handful, I would say that it's better not to antagonize the situation. Your son learned an important lesson, whatever it was he did to get his punishment.

I don't know any white kids that got hit growing up. I did witness black kids getting a beat down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Which culture are you from OP? Unless you're white, getting smacked by one's elders isn't exactly taboo if it's well-deserved. Since you agree that your own son can be a handful, I would say that it's better not to antagonize the situation. Your son learned an important lesson, whatever it was he did to get his punishment.

I don't know any white kids that got hit growing up. I did witness black kids getting a beat down.

Exactly what I meant. Only white people would think what the OP described is taboo.

[Anonymous]

I'd get my son out of there. But your son is old enough to fly unaccompanied minor. I'd call him a taxi or Uber and get him on a plane. Cancel the visit with your dad.

[Anonymous]

What exactly did your dad to do him?

Also, why did you send your child to your dad's house when you know he was abusive to you?

[Anonymous]

Go get your kid