To disclose HFA diagnosis to teen or not? 17 year old

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP the actor Paddy Considine was in his late 30's finally diagnosed as aspergers. He said that it was a huge relief because it "explained" a lot about his life.

Maybe you can look at it this way, its something to help explain things rather than a burden to be carried?

+1 SPED teacher here. Just telling the child does nothing; telling the child and giving him strategies to cope with and work with his disability helps. It also gives the child a point of reference and a sense of mindfulness -- to know that when he does xyz people interpret abc and that perhaps he should do xyb. He can use this information to help himself as he moves through life.

[Anonymous]

Medical information should never be withheld.

If he is at college, he may need accommodations that he didn't need in high school. A student not knowing their own history or health state leads to poor ability to advocate for themselves or access the supports they need.

If he disagrees, then he can talk to the psychologist or choose to ignore it.

[Anonymous]

I can't help but feel the so's attitude is reflective of OP's attitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't turn this into some big family secret. This is medical information about your son, that he deserves to know. If he disagrees with the diagnosis, he can always find a different doc to review the evaluation.

I can guarantee he will disagree with it, I know he will.

So what? It's information. It's information about him. He doesn't need to agree with it. He just ought to have it. Because informed people make better decisions than people who have been kept ignorant.

Amen!! I can't believe you would even consider this!!! He is 17 not 7. You must tell him. If you don't tell him and I was the dr who diagnosed him I would be sure to mark you DS's 18th birthday on my calendar and give him a call to let me know.

No getting, and lets fast forward to the future if he has kids of his own and certain traits show up, they're going to want a family history and if your future grandchild has ADHD or autism is he going to want them to struggle through?

[Anonymous]

OP,
I'm an adult with both ADHD and HFA I was not diagnosed until I was in my 30s.

I did okay socially and academically, but things could have been better if I had known.

Also college life and adult life are both monumentally harder than high school.

He might be able to scrape by in college but things will implode for him as an adult.
That's part of the reason I ended up being diagnosed because I could not keep up with anything school, work, career, basic adult things. I felt like a failure because I had always been able to get by before and I couldn't and I wasn't measuring up.

How would you feel when your 28 yo old son is thinking about killing himself( yes I was suicidal because I felt so useless I was depressed) because he doesn't measure up and all along you held the keys to helping him, and you didn't because...?
Yes, my life was okay before, but now it's great.

A diagnosis isn't an excuse it's a tool to help you figure out what things might be more challenging to you so you can strategize and accomplish things.

Tell him.

[Anonymous]

OP here.
He will get the accommodations he needs based on the adhd diagnosis.
I need to sleep on this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't help but feel the so's attitude is reflective of OP's attitude.

+ a million

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.
He will get the accommodations he needs based on the adhd diagnosis.
I need to sleep on this

If your kid's doctor told him all signs point to him needing glasses.

Would you withhold that information because DS doesn't like glasses, thinks glasses will make him too different, and he seems happy and is getting by without glasses, and telling him might upset him?

[Anonymous]

I think you tell him that this particular doctor suggested it's a possibility whereas others have not suggested it. Tell him to read the report and tell him you can discuss and make some arrangements if he wishes after you answer questions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.
He will get the accommodations he needs based on the adhd diagnosis.
I need to sleep on this

If your kid's doctor told him all signs point to him needing glasses.

Would you withhold that information because DS doesn't like glasses, thinks glasses will make him too different, and he seems happy and is getting by without glasses, and telling him might upset him?

Bingo. Well said.

[Anonymous]

It is incredibly immoral to withhold medical information from somebody. It is not your choice to make.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I'm not down playing the validity. It's just too little to late to be of much good IMO.

Too late? He has the rest of his life to get through still.

[Anonymous]

Please do, OP. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

The report is one doctor's opinion, and it sounds like the doctor may be a quack if he didn't pick up on it until recently after years of seeing your son. If you think knowing this dr's opinion would do more harm than good, you don't have to tell him. It's not like he's been diagnosed with cancer. HFA is a spectrum and other professionals may disagree that he meets the criteria.

[Anonymous]

I would hold off and reevaluate in six months.