To disclose HFA diagnosis to teen or not? 17 year old

[Anonymous]

Look, he has friends at work, so we know he can be employed and maintain social networks. He is also capable of going off to college. The question now becomes what will this diagnosis do for him. College is a big step and developing friendships is hard on everyone. Will this help him make friends? Will it give him anxiety over social situations? Will it shut him down before he even gets a chance? He already has a label he is comfortable with, will this new one add a level
of understanding that improves his life or will he get hung up brooding over another handicap. If this were his first diagnosis after a pattern of behavior that needed guidance then of course you would welcome it. But it doesn't sound as though it's that strong a conclusion. Are you deliberately downplaying the validity of this or is this really just one prognosis with little testing to backnit up?

[Anonymous]

OP I trust your gut a lot more than I trust this psychologist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look, he has friends at work, so we know he can be employed and maintain social networks. He is also capable of going off to college. The question now becomes what will this diagnosis do for him. College is a big step and developing friendships is hard on everyone. Will this help him make friends? Will it give him anxiety over social situations? Will it shut him down before he even gets a chance? He already has a label he is comfortable with, will this new one add a level
of understanding that improves his life or will he get hung up brooding over another handicap. If this were his first diagnosis after a pattern of behavior that needed guidance then of course you would welcome it. But it doesn't sound as though it's that strong a conclusion. Are you deliberately downplaying the validity of this or is this really just one prognosis with little testing to backnit up?

I'm not down playing the validity. It's just too little to late to be of much good IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I trust your gut a lot more than I trust this psychologist.

My gut strongly says not to. I saw how his adhd diagnosis upset him for years. He seems think ds will be relieved. I think this couldn't be farther from the truth.

He finally seems to be doing better. It seems unnecessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't turn this into some big family secret. This is medical information about your son, that he deserves to know. If he disagrees with the diagnosis, he can always find a different doc to review the evaluation.

I can guarantee he will disagree with it, I know he will.

So what? It's information. It's information about him. He doesn't need to agree with it. He just ought to have it. Because informed people make better decisions than people who have been kept ignorant.

Amen!! I can't believe you would even consider this!!! He is 17 not 7. You must tell him. If you don't tell him and I was the dr who diagnosed him I would be sure to mark you DS's 18th birthday on my calendar and give him a call to let me know.

[Anonymous]

^^^ to let "him" know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't turn this into some big family secret. This is medical information about your son, that he deserves to know. If he disagrees with the diagnosis, he can always find a different doc to review the evaluation.

I can guarantee he will disagree with it, I know he will.

So what? It's information. It's information about him. He doesn't need to agree with it. He just ought to have it. Because informed people make better decisions than people who have been kept ignorant.

Amen!! I can't believe you would even consider this!!! He is 17 not 7. You must tell him. If you don't tell him and I was the dr who diagnosed him I would be sure to mark you DS's 18th birthday on my calendar and give him a call to let me know.

That would be great because I would sue your ass.

[Anonymous]

I really feel bad for your son, I can't imagine having a mom that thinks she's justified in withholding this from me at 17.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't turn this into some big family secret. This is medical information about your son, that he deserves to know. If he disagrees with the diagnosis, he can always find a different doc to review the evaluation.

I can guarantee he will disagree with it, I know he will.

So what? It's information. It's information about him. He doesn't need to agree with it. He just ought to have it. Because informed people make better decisions than people who have been kept ignorant.

Amen!! I can't believe you would even consider this!!! He is 17 not 7. You must tell him. If you don't tell him and I was the dr who diagnosed him I would be sure to mark you DS's 18th birthday on my calendar and give him a call to let me know.

That would be great because I would sue your ass.

In fact, it's not medical information. This psychologist made the diagnosis based on report cards??!! This is not a diagnosis. It's an opinion. No, you should not tell your son this based on that. I think your gut is right. Just keep helping him build that confidence and it sounds like he's heading in a good direction. Good for you for all you did to help get him there!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't turn this into some big family secret. This is medical information about your son, that he deserves to know. If he disagrees with the diagnosis, he can always find a different doc to review the evaluation.

I can guarantee he will disagree with it, I know he will.

So what? It's information. It's information about him. He doesn't need to agree with it. He just ought to have it. Because informed people make better decisions than people who have been kept ignorant.

Amen!! I can't believe you would even consider this!!! He is 17 not 7. You must tell him. If you don't tell him and I was the dr who diagnosed him I would be sure to mark you DS's 18th birthday on my calendar and give him a call to let me know.

That would be great because I would sue your ass.

On what grounds? You don't think an ADULT has the right to his full medical records?

[Anonymous]

This is not medical information as no medical doctor diagnosed him.
This would be psychological info.

Btw. Parents withhold info from their kids every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't turn this into some big family secret. This is medical information about your son, that he deserves to know. If he disagrees with the diagnosis, he can always find a different doc to review the evaluation.

I can guarantee he will disagree with it, I know he will.

So what? It's information. It's information about him. He doesn't need to agree with it. He just ought to have it. Because informed people make better decisions than people who have been kept ignorant.

Amen!! I can't believe you would even consider this!!! He is 17 not 7. You must tell him. If you don't tell him and I was the dr who diagnosed him I would be sure to mark you DS's 18th birthday on my calendar and give him a call to let me know.

That would be great because I would sue your ass.

On what grounds? You don't think an ADULT has the right to his full medical records?

Yes if the adult requests them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't turn this into some big family secret. This is medical information about your son, that he deserves to know. If he disagrees with the diagnosis, he can always find a different doc to review the evaluation.

I can guarantee he will disagree with it, I know he will.

So what? It's information. It's information about him. He doesn't need to agree with it. He just ought to have it. Because informed people make better decisions than people who have been kept ignorant.

Amen!! I can't believe you would even consider this!!! He is 17 not 7. You must tell him. If you don't tell him and I was the dr who diagnosed him I would be sure to mark you DS's 18th birthday on my calendar and give him a call to let me know.

That would be great because I would sue your ass.

You would sue a doctor for disclosing medical information about an adult to that adult?

If your husband went to the doctor and got a diagnosis, would you sue that doctor too?

He's going to be an adult. As an adult, he is entitled to know what's in his medical records. You can tell him that you disagree with it, and why, but hiding information isn't really an option any more.

If something comes up at college, and he needs accommodations, he'll need to submit his own medical records. Which means he'll be able to read them. Would you really prefer that he finds this out when he's struggling and far from home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not medical information as no medical doctor diagnosed him.
This would be psychological info.

Btw. Parents withhold info from their kids every day.

Yes they withhold information from KIDS- a 17 year old about to be 18 is not a kid.
Your DS is about to go off to college and you are still coddling him. You are doing him a disservice by treating him like a child. Information is power.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I trust your gut a lot more than I trust this psychologist.

My gut strongly says not to. I saw how his adhd diagnosis upset him for years. He seems think ds will be relieved. I think this couldn't be farther from the truth.

He finally seems to be doing better. It seems unnecessary.

I would ask a professional if you should trust your gut. What does it mean to be a grown man and not know your medical history or believe your parents can be trusted to tell the truth?

We aren't talking about a kid, but a man you are sending out into the world.