Is being a female attorney the kiss of death for dating?

[Anonymous]

When I think lawyer, I think Hillary Clinton or Jan Levinson from the Office (I know she wasn't a lawyer). Cold, calculated, smart as hell, enjoys status and importance.

That's just not what I'm into.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a lawyer and now I became an artist (painter) and my datability has shot waaaay up. Nothing has changed. I'm still the same person. I'm perceived as more laid back and nicer now I guess.

have fun being a SAHM in the suburbs alone with DH coming home after bedtime every night. Sexist bros look for women like you to recreate the feminine mystique.

Do you even understand that phrase? Do you know its origins? Your usage does not indicate that.
Your unwarranted spewing against me is really silly. I'm a feminist, and I take care of me. #empowered #girlboss

I know exactly what it meant #girlboss. Too bad you couldn't hack it as a JD and have to run after a man for your MRS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I think lawyer, I think Hillary Clinton or Jan Levinson from the Office (I know she wasn't a lawyer). Cold, calculated, smart as hell, enjoys status and importance.

That's just not what I'm into.

you aren't from around here are you ... I guess I can see how schmos in some rust belt city would think all lawyers are like Jan from the Office, but not DC, NY, or SF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Female attorneys, has being an attorney been a liability to getting dates? Has it been a big turn off to a particular demographic of men?

Not for me, but I see how it could be for some guys. Personally, as a single, professional guy with a good career, I am attracted to successful, smart women. But, I also grew up around career-oriented women. My mom is a physician and both my sisters went to top schools and both have great careers. I have been on several dates with very attractive attorneys at big law firms, and I can see how they are tough to date. Two stand out... One is a partner at a global DC firm and another is counsel at a top NYC-based firm known as a sweatshop. It was so hard to schedule time to date, so both fizzled out. From what I know, both are still single. It's unfortunate because both are awesome people, just beholden to their jobs (and I'm talking working until 2am for a late 30s woman...that just sucks).

I've also dated lawyers who weren't in big law and they're no different from other non-lawyers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I think lawyer, I think Hillary Clinton or Jan Levinson from the Office (I know she wasn't a lawyer). Cold, calculated, smart as hell, enjoys status and importance.

That's just not what I'm into.

Jan was hot af. Ambition is sexy.

[Anonymous]

If I only wanted to date instagram butt models and complained that it was too hard, no one would feel bad for me and no one will feel bad for you if you only date men with high educational and career achievement and it's hard to meet them.

I don't agree that it is that hard to meet such men. It's only hard if you also demand that they be exceptionally attractive, athletic, outgoing as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I think lawyer, I think Hillary Clinton or Jan Levinson from the Office (I know she wasn't a lawyer). Cold, calculated, smart as hell, enjoys status and importance.

That's just not what I'm into.

Jan was hot af. Ambition is sexy.

In the words of Oscar Martinez, she was also "certifiably insane."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I think lawyer, I think Hillary Clinton or Jan Levinson from the Office (I know she wasn't a lawyer). Cold, calculated, smart as hell, enjoys status and importance.

That's just not what I'm into.

Jan was hot af. Ambition is sexy.

In the words of Oscar Martinez, she was also "certifiably insane."

but crazy women are the best in bed

[Anonymous]

I hear they are great master-debaters!

[Anonymous]

feds - yes.

biglaw - no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

From the female law grads I know from top 5 schools it seems harder to date and meet someone once out of law school.

This reveals the heart of the issue- "top 5" law graduates are predominantly obsessed with economic and educational status, so much so that it is the one single thing that you are telling us about them. They won't date men who don't have similarly elite educational credentials and professional accomplishment. Unsurprisingly, it is hard to have romantic success when you are this restrictive in who you are willing to date.

Quoted PP here. This does not describe the female law grads from top schools that I know, at all, but is the prevailing stereotype that many men, and women, seem to expect.

[Anonymous]

Male lawyer in biglaw here married to a female lawyer who was fed and now SAHM.

The problem for female lawyers is the numbers game. Most women want to date someone of similar educational and financial attainment. If you are a successful female lawyer looking for similar, you have already crossed off 80% of men. Also, few relationships survive law school, so they come out single around age 26 when half or more of the men are married or in serious relationships. Then they hit the dating market competing with women who may be younger and prettier. Add in a hectic schedule and stress. It's a tough combo.

At my firm, there are about 100 partners, 80 male/20 female. Almost all of the male partners are married with children, few of the women partners are (some were married now divorced). The women are attractive, interesting, in shape, and fun (when they have time) but the dating market is brutal for them. I suspect it's not just attorneys but any high hour, high stress, lot's of schooling career.

[Anonymous]

If you are a successful female lawyer looking for similar, you have already crossed off 80% of men

I mean, I don't think most female lawyers are necessarily looking for other lawyers. I'm a partner at a firm and DH has a policy position in gov't. He's not an attorney. My best friend is a senior associate and her husband is a medical researcher. It can be nice to have a partner that does something besides law!

[Anonymous]

Yeah I do t think most lawyers want to date lawyers. I am an attorney but my husband isn't. I work in government and I make more money than him. He is smarter, fitter, funnier, and ten times more responsible than I am ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

From the female law grads I know from top 5 schools it seems harder to date and meet someone once out of law school.

This reveals the heart of the issue- "top 5" law graduates are predominantly obsessed with economic and educational status, so much so that it is the one single thing that you are telling us about them. They won't date men who don't have similarly elite educational credentials and professional accomplishment. Unsurprisingly, it is hard to have romantic success when you are this restrictive in who you are willing to date.

Quoted PP here. This does not describe the female law grads from top schools that I know, at all, but is the prevailing stereotype that many men, and women, seem to expect.

It's been my experience having worked at several firms which were heavily populated with attorneys from elite law schools and having friendships with several others. Many of these ladies were very very nice people but they would not date someone without high educational credentials and professional accomplishment. someone like, say, an accountant with only an undergraduate degree would be completely unacceptable to them.