Is being a female attorney the kiss of death for dating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are these female attorneys who are having such trouble dating? I work in a litigating section of DOJ and, while better than a law firm, our hours and demands are tough, but most of my unmarried female friend here seem to be able to get dates. I was lucky enough to meet DH through a friend from law school (he's an accountant) so can't speak to the dating market personally .....

i am pp with the post that said earlier:

Fed yes

Biglaw no.

because that's been my experience. I've dated a few DOJ attorney women (in CRT - various sections...all joined via doj honors program, no ex biglaw)

I have gone out with more biglaw bitches because of the sheer numbers but the doj ladies were WAY better to date and pursue. More attractive, more grounded, they worked at doj because of the mission and hence were just happier. the big law bitches are boring and grumpy.

you cannot compare the dating attractiveness of DOJ ladies to BLB's.

Given that you refer to them as "BLBs," I am sure they are heartbroken at your purported lack of interest.

[Anonymous]

I am a female attorney. Most of my friends are female attorneys. We are all married with children and most are married to an attorney. I noticed that the two who are divorced were not married to attorneys.

Most people meet their partners at school or at work so this isn't surprising and it is nice to be married to someone who knows and understands the kind of work you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In truth, here is why it is so hard.

It has been my experience that female attorneys are generally enormously picky about the education and income of their partners. So they limit themselves to maybe 2 percent of the male population and wonder why it's so difficult to date. Whereas the men who meet your requirements are much more willing to date the general population

If you're willing to open yourself up in terms of who you'd date you'll have no issues.

It is easy to blame the men because you can maintain the fantasy that male insecurities are to blame and your difficulties are the result of principled commitment to self achievement over society's judgment, but it's mostly self-inflicted.

If I only wanted to date instagram butt models and complained that it was too hard, no one would feel bad for me and no one will feel bad for you if you only date men with high educational and career achievement and it's hard to meet them.

If the woman in question has an Ivy League or similar educational background and a high profile, demanding career, why is it wrong for her to want to pair with someone similar who shares her values and goals in life?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In truth, here is why it is so hard.

It has been my experience that female attorneys are generally enormously picky about the education and income of their partners. So they limit themselves to maybe 2 percent of the male population and wonder why it's so difficult to date. Whereas the men who meet your requirements are much more willing to date the general population

If you're willing to open yourself up in terms of who you'd date you'll have no issues.

It is easy to blame the men because you can maintain the fantasy that male insecurities are to blame and your difficulties are the result of principled commitment to self achievement over society's judgment, but it's mostly self-inflicted.

If I only wanted to date instagram butt models and complained that it was too hard, no one would feel bad for me and no one will feel bad for you if you only date men with high educational and career achievement and it's hard to meet them.

If the woman in question has an Ivy League or similar educational background and a high profile, demanding career, why is it wrong for her to want to pair with someone similar who shares her values and goals in life?

It's not "wrong" for me to only "want" to date luscious instagram butt models either. People are entitled to set whatever standards they want. But that's not society being unfair to them. If you only want to date someone with similar professional achievement, that is 100 percent your prerogative, but that also means that the downsides (it is very hard to find someone) are also 100 percent your choice. Society doesn't owe you someone who meets all of your extremely selective requirements.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In truth, here is why it is so hard.

It has been my experience that female attorneys are generally enormously picky about the education and income of their partners. So they limit themselves to maybe 2 percent of the male population and wonder why it's so difficult to date. Whereas the men who meet your requirements are much more willing to date the general population

If you're willing to open yourself up in terms of who you'd date you'll have no issues.

It is easy to blame the men because you can maintain the fantasy that male insecurities are to blame and your difficulties are the result of principled commitment to self achievement over society's judgment, but it's mostly self-inflicted.

If I only wanted to date instagram butt models and complained that it was too hard, no one would feel bad for me and no one will feel bad for you if you only date men with high educational and career achievement and it's hard to meet them.

If the woman in question has an Ivy League or similar educational background and a high profile, demanding career, why is it wrong for her to want to pair with someone similar who shares her values and goals in life?

It's not wrong. But does it work? If your cunning life plan isn't working, change something. Move to Canada. Sneer at Ivy Leaguers. Something.

[Anonymous]

I like female lawyers but I have ED so it doesn't really work out usually

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In truth, here is why it is so hard.

It has been my experience that female attorneys are generally enormously picky about the education and income of their partners. So they limit themselves to maybe 2 percent of the male population and wonder why it's so difficult to date. Whereas the men who meet your requirements are much more willing to date the general population

If you're willing to open yourself up in terms of who you'd date you'll have no issues.

It is easy to blame the men because you can maintain the fantasy that male insecurities are to blame and your difficulties are the result of principled commitment to self achievement over society's judgment, but it's mostly self-inflicted.

If I only wanted to date instagram butt models and complained that it was too hard, no one would feel bad for me and no one will feel bad for you if you only date men with high educational and career achievement and it's hard to meet them.

If the woman in question has an Ivy League or similar educational background and a high profile, demanding career, why is it wrong for her to want to pair with someone similar who shares her values and goals in life?

It's not "wrong" for me to only "want" to date luscious instagram butt models either. People are entitled to set whatever standards they want. But that's not society being unfair to them. If you only want to date someone with similar professional achievement, that is 100 percent your prerogative, but that also means that the downsides (it is very hard to find someone) are also 100 percent your choice. Society doesn't owe you someone who meets all of your extremely selective requirements.

Do you really see these as comparable things? (wanting a man with a decent job - could be in a wide variety of fields vs. butt model on instagram. Hmm)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In truth, here is why it is so hard.

It has been my experience that female attorneys are generally enormously picky about the education and income of their partners. So they limit themselves to maybe 2 percent of the male population and wonder why it's so difficult to date. Whereas the men who meet your requirements are much more willing to date the general population

If you're willing to open yourself up in terms of who you'd date you'll have no issues.

It is easy to blame the men because you can maintain the fantasy that male insecurities are to blame and your difficulties are the result of principled commitment to self achievement over society's judgment, but it's mostly self-inflicted.

If I only wanted to date instagram butt models and complained that it was too hard, no one would feel bad for me and no one will feel bad for you if you only date men with high educational and career achievement and it's hard to meet them.

If the woman in question has an Ivy League or similar educational background and a high profile, demanding career, why is it wrong for her to want to pair with someone similar who shares her values and goals in life?

It's not "wrong" for me to only "want" to date luscious instagram butt models either. People are entitled to set whatever standards they want. But that's not society being unfair to them. If you only want to date someone with similar professional achievement, that is 100 percent your prerogative, but that also means that the downsides (it is very hard to find someone) are also 100 percent your choice. Society doesn't owe you someone who meets all of your extremely selective requirements.

Do you really see these as comparable things? (wanting a man with a decent job - could be in a wide variety of fields vs. butt model on instagram. Hmm)

An accountant with a B.S. from a state school has a "decent" job. The women I'm thinking of (law firm attorneys) want someone with (A) a professional degree from an elite institution (B) a 150K+ income. They might rationalize that this some kind of floor of "decent" jobs but it excludes the vast majority of men.

[Anonymous]

No, but being overly dramatic is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In truth, here is why it is so hard.

It has been my experience that female attorneys are generally enormously picky about the education and income of their partners. So they limit themselves to maybe 2 percent of the male population and wonder why it's so difficult to date. Whereas the men who meet your requirements are much more willing to date the general population

If you're willing to open yourself up in terms of who you'd date you'll have no issues.

It is easy to blame the men because you can maintain the fantasy that male insecurities are to blame and your difficulties are the result of principled commitment to self achievement over society's judgment, but it's mostly self-inflicted.

If I only wanted to date instagram butt models and complained that it was too hard, no one would feel bad for me and no one will feel bad for you if you only date men with high educational and career achievement and it's hard to meet them.

If the woman in question has an Ivy League or similar educational background and a high profile, demanding career, why is it wrong for her to want to pair with someone similar who shares her values and goals in life?

It's not "wrong" for me to only "want" to date luscious instagram butt models either. People are entitled to set whatever standards they want. But that's not society being unfair to them. If you only want to date someone with similar professional achievement, that is 100 percent your prerogative, but that also means that the downsides (it is very hard to find someone) are also 100 percent your choice. Society doesn't owe you someone who meets all of your extremely selective requirements.

Do you really see these as comparable things? (wanting a man with a decent job - could be in a wide variety of fields vs. butt model on instagram. Hmm)

An accountant with a B.S. from a state school has a "decent" job. The women I'm thinking of (law firm attorneys) want someone with (A) a professional degree from an elite institution (B) a 150K+ income. They might rationalize that this some kind of floor of "decent" jobs but it excludes the vast majority of men.

+1

It's worth reminding ourselves that the average salary in this country is around $50K. An unmarried, fit, non-gay, non-crazy man, with a decent education and a good career, making $150K+ is rare.