Was college the best 4 years of your life, or is it the best 4 years of your child's life? Sad DD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes college was the best 4 years of my life. I studied hard, but also partied hard, had very close friends and loved my sorority. Not to say that my life afterwards has been depressing, but nothing will ever touch those 4 carefree years. All I had to do was make good grades. Life will never be that simple again.

I loved college in the same way though I would actually say right now is the time of my life (mid thirties, kids at an easy, enjoyable age, happy marriage, plenty of money, cute home, travel 4 times a year, part time job, no stress).

My early twenties were hard because I missed my college friends so much and I had a hard time figuring out what I wanted to do career wise and then trying to making that work out.

I really loved college but there is nothing better than being a fully independent adult with your own money and no one to tell you what to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for people who say the college years were the best years. It makes me think they didn't do their 20s right.

For me, the years after finishing school were amazing - no mortgages, no heavy responsibilities besides paying rent (and maybe student loans for some of us). A couple people got married, but for the most part, we were working, but playing hard because there was no homework.

I have to agree. College was stressful For me. I really love my 20s after I graduated.

Eh. College was great, my twenties were great. My thirties are even better (better job, more money, solid relationship, etc. etc.). Your present tense should always be your best IMO. I feel bad for people who say the time of their lives is in the past. Sad way to live.

[Anonymous]

It's different for different people. I would switch her to a school within driving distance from home but have a room on campus. She can stay on medical school track but have comfortable home nearby and probably has highschool friends at the nearby school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She didn't go off to utopia. She went off to learn away from home. She shouldn't expect to be happy 100% of the time. My friend and I just met for lunch - she had a horrible dream last night, spilled hot tea on herself, and is worried about her job and boyfriend. But on social media she posted a pic of her breakfast and raved about it. Had we not gotten together I wouldn't know the full picture.

For the record, I went out with friends exactly twice in college. I went to exactly one bar, zero parties. I worked through a work/study job and really enjoyed working in the registrar and the people I worked with. I really liked some of my classes, really disliked some, and was meh about others. One time I wore two different sneakers to school by accident. I bonded with one girl over how much our teacher favored another girl. I can't remember her name now. I lived at home. I had brunch with my grandparents every Sunday morning. I basically had a B average.

Humans are meant to experience the full spectrum of emotions. We're not meant to be happy all the time. 50% happiness during waking hours seems great to me. I think she just needs to adjust her expectations and appreciate the smaller things.

NP. I find this fascinating.

I too. What country are you from?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for people who say the college years were the best years. It makes me think they didn't do their 20s right.

For me, the years after finishing school were amazing - no mortgages, no heavy responsibilities besides paying rent (and maybe student loans for some of us). A couple people got married, but for the most part, we were working, but playing hard because there was no homework.

I have to agree. College was stressful For me. I really love my 20s after I graduated.

Eh. College was great, my twenties were great. My thirties are even better (better job, more money, solid relationship, etc. etc.). Your present tense should always be your best IMO. I feel bad for people who say the time of their lives is in the past. Sad way to live.

Totally agreed. Life should keep getting better and, if it isn't, then it is time to re-evaluate. Don't get me wrong, we all go through tough periods but the overall trajectory and enjoyment should be rising not falling. There was a great article in yesterday's Health section of WAPO that basically says the same thing about old age - that if you aren't enjoying it then there is something bigger going wrong.

[Anonymous]

Why a SLAC if she's pre-med?

[Anonymous]

OP - I read the first page of the thread, but need to get going in our home so I will share at the end a point which may have already been considered. Our oldest daughter was and is an extremely high performer and perfectionist, and she was diagnosed with anxiety and/or a bit of depression while in college. If someone is unhappy 50% of the time, it is time to have a mental health screening to rule out anything which might be deeper. The college counseling service is certainly the place to start if you can't connect her to a doctor while home for winter break. However, it is also true that dealing with the inner angst or outside pressures of a college setting - real or imagined - can also lead to physiological changes which might need some medication to balance out. So just as you might send her to an internist for a lingering pain, maybe time to take the same route on the mental health aspect, too.

We also had a middle daughter who after the first semester at a college which on paper was ideal for her chosen career field of physical therapy with a then 5-years master program, called home to say the school program was too easy and she was not challenged and wanted to transfer. For various reasons we told her to wait till after Christmas break and then supported her decision to apply to a top instate school in our community which she did. She was much happier on a bigger campus with more challenging courses. This might also be a factor in your daughter's case if she is really bright that she is just coming to realize and perhaps a bit more challenge in undergraduate work will serve her well in med school. I might encourage her to at least visit one or two schools if she expresses the interest to see just what she might even get in an aid package if her grades have been good and apply to at least let her know she has had the option to make a decision to stay where she is or move on.

Our youngest daughter has an intellectual disability and so going to college or even getting a high school diploma was not an option. She has found working in the dining hall of a state university and doing things with college students a very nice balance in her life. Life does take flexibility at times and no one enjoys seeing a child of any age unhappy.Most importantly, I think it helps if DD can no that you will support any decision with, of course, clear parameters on what you can afford.

[Anonymous]

college sucked - i would've rather had the skills to go pro at something highly remunerative at 18.

i'm sure zuckerberg, lebron, kobe, ronaldo, messi, bill gates were like "oh no, i wish i spent all four years in undergrad".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why a SLAC if she's pre-med?

better support structure.