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Reply to "Was college the best 4 years of your life, or is it the best 4 years of your child's life? Sad DD."

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[quote=Anonymous]
OP - I read the first page of the thread, but need to get going in our home so I will share at the end a point which may have already been considered.  Our oldest daughter was and is an extremely high performer and perfectionist, and she was diagnosed with anxiety and/or a bit of depression while in college.  If someone is unhappy 50% of the time, it is time to have a mental health screening to rule out anything which might be deeper.  The college counseling service is certainly the place to start if you can't connect her to a doctor while home for winter break.  However, it is also true that dealing with the inner angst or outside pressures of a college setting - real or imagined - can also lead to physiological changes which might need some medication to balance out.  So just as you might send her to an internist for a lingering pain, maybe time to take the same route on the mental health aspect, too.

We also had a middle  daughter who after the first semester at a college which on paper was ideal for her chosen career field of physical therapy with a then 5-years master program, called home to say the school program was too easy and she was not challenged and wanted to transfer.  For various reasons we told her to wait till after Christmas break and then supported her decision to apply to a top instate school in our community which she did.  She was much happier on a bigger campus with more challenging courses.  This might also be a factor in your daughter's case if she is really bright that she is just coming to realize and perhaps a bit more challenge in undergraduate work will serve her well in med school.  I might encourage her to at least visit one or two schools if she expresses the interest to see just what she might even get in an aid package if her grades have been good and apply to at least let her know she has had the option to make a decision to stay where she is or move on.

Our youngest daughter has an intellectual disability and so going to college or even getting a high school diploma was not an option.  She has found working in the dining hall of a state university and doing things with college students a very nice balance in her life.   Life does take flexibility at times and no one enjoys seeing a child of any age unhappy.Most importantly, I think it helps if DD can no that you will support any decision with, of course, clear parameters on what you can afford.

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