Daughter and grandson just turned down full scholarship to Maryland (UMD)

[Anonymous]

There are all kinds of scholarships available to people in certain organizations, or with certain characteristics. These are private organizations which provide these scholarships as a benefit to their members.

You could do this, too. You and your friends could contribute to a pot of money that grows over time to be used by everyone's children for college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband sits on the board of a scholarship committee. They offer a few four year full scholarships and my husband is certain he'd be one of the winners. All he had to do was complete application and an overnight at UMD, to show commitment. The application was turned in two months ago, the overnight was 10 days ago.

We called the entire week before and were ignored. The student program directors told my husband they called, emailed, texted my grandson. He did not show. At Thanksgiving they acted aloof about the entire thing.

This morning our grandson is on facebook discussing various less selective in-state public and private colleges which they can't afford. They make good money but the family has zero savings. Were we not clear that this was a full ride scholarship? I am at a loss.

Maybe he doesn't want to go to UMD. Maybe his grades aren't good enough to get in.

[Anonymous]

You and your family sound like you have big communication problems. The acting aloof thing is very odd. Maybe you are super pushy, and he doesn't want to go, but you can't accept that, so they feel they can't talk to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are all kinds of scholarships available to people in certain organizations, or with certain characteristics. These are private organizations which provide these scholarships as a benefit to their members.

You could do this, too. You and your friends could contribute to a pot of money that grows over time to be used by everyone's children for college.

Yes, if a group of my friends incorporated a for-profit entity that was not gaining any tax advantages, sure, that would be fine. I'm asking if these are groups that are supposed to have charitable missions as defined by the IRS? If so, it is probably illegal to have giveaways to family members.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You and your family sound like you have big communication problems. The acting aloof thing is very odd. Maybe you are super pushy, and he doesn't want to go, but you can't accept that, so they feel they can't talk to you.

Or maybe they're just idiots? There isn't a public U in Maryland anywhere close to the caliber of the flagship -- let alone going to the flagship FOR FREE! There's no way to spin it, it's nonsensical.

[Anonymous]

Those of you who think this is a huge conflict of interest clearly have no idea how most private scholarships work. What's unfortunate about this situation is that for once, it sounds like the scholarship would be going to someone who was financially needy.

DH's part of an alumni scholarship and they always go to connected kids, not the randoms who send in their application. Shady? Yes. How politics works? Yes.

Sounds like your grandson doesn't want to go to UMD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work at UMD in development and just sent this link to Brian Ullman, who is acting for Peter Weiler right now. They will be interested to see how donor funds are being abused.

Universities have no control over private scholarships.

+1. You are a dope, development person. The OP's husbands probably in the Elks or Rotary Club or some other organization like that, giving private scholarships.

I'm going to assume this type of thing happens frequently. Not sure that sending the link to the acting director will make any difference. He probably has seen it all before. I've worked in higher ed for over 15 years...you'd be surprised at the things going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work at UMD in development and just sent this link to Brian Ullman, who is acting for Peter Weiler right now. They will be interested to see how donor funds are being abused.

Universities have no control over private scholarships.

+1. You are a dope, development person. The OP's husbands probably in the Elks or Rotary Club or some other organization like that, giving private scholarships.

Must be some secret fund of which I am unaware, given that the various service club scholarships are usually $500-$1,500 at most.

[Anonymous]

they probably don't want to be beholden to you for years to come so they passed on the offer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Those of you who think this is a huge conflict of interest clearly have no idea how most private scholarships work. What's unfortunate about this situation is that for once, it sounds like the scholarship would be going to someone who was financially needy.

DH's part of an alumni scholarship and they always go to connected kids, not the randoms who send in their application. Shady? Yes. How politics works? Yes.

Sounds like your grandson doesn't want to go to UMD.

You aren't actually citing any legal support for this, other than "it's always how it worked."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would love to hear the daughter's version of events. I bet she's been down this road before and is tired of the strings and the disapproval that come with these gifts. I'm guessing her financial decisions aren't all bad, either.

From OP: They've borrowed money from us in the past, they recently had to get rid of an SUV they couldn't afford, and they're slightly overextended on their home.

Yeah, the daughter's version of events probably revolves around Pops not opening his wallet quickly enough and/or complaining that her husband doesn't make enough money. Let's get real. Seems they didn't fear all the disapproval when they were borrowing money earlier.

[Anonymous]

House poor idiots acting like house poor idiots. This is indefensible. UMD for free for an average kid? That's a winning lottery ticket!

[Anonymous]

Daughter's version of events is probably "I wish mom and dad would die already so we can blow their money."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you know so much about your daughter's finances? My parents know jack nothing about my family. Occasionally my mother asks if I've started putting money in a 401k (I'm 35).

Lolz, Mom. We've been maxing out for the last 10 years.

They've borrowed money from us in the past, they recently had to get rid of an SUV they couldn't afford, and they're slightly overextended on their home.

OP-you and your DH did what you could to help them financially. So let them pay for it and ignore requests for $. Also some people really dislike College Park and want a different experience. They will pay for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those of you who think this is a huge conflict of interest clearly have no idea how most private scholarships work. What's unfortunate about this situation is that for once, it sounds like the scholarship would be going to someone who was financially needy.

DH's part of an alumni scholarship and they always go to connected kids, not the randoms who send in their application. Shady? Yes. How politics works? Yes.

Sounds like your grandson doesn't want to go to UMD.

You aren't actually citing any legal support for this, other than "it's always how it worked."

Hard to cite legal support for possibly illegal actions, lol. I'm sure that at some level laws are being broken, be they taxes or otherwise.