Would like to hear from late 50, 60-somethings with teens

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For us it was important to have both kids by age 30. We did not want to look like our kids "grandparents" at school events, kids activities, etc. See so much of that now where is is hard to tell if the adult is a parent or a grand parent!. Sorry....IMO always best to have kids early in life, when you have the energy to play with and take care of them and also to ensure that you will be around to see them become independent!

Unfortunately, my husband and I had not yet met when I was 30.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 41, my kids are 17 and 15.

I have friends just starting to have kids. That would suck.
We are young and healthy, I'm a few years we can travel WHILE STILL HEALTHY.
No medications or canes needed.
Hopefully we can do this for 20 years or more. Yeah, we are lucky and smart.

Oh, please. Stop patting yourself on the back. Your good fortune to meet your partner and have kids when you were young has nothing to do with being smart. Is it so hard to imagine that others didn't have the option to have kids in their 20s and early 30s? the OP's question was about parenting in your 50s, not a request for those who had kids younger to gloat and speculate about being an older parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. When we're about 53, the plan is that DH and I are retiring and cruising the islands.

Good luck to all of you older parents on here! It takes a special kind. I couldn't imagine.

LOL!!!! Seriously.

Read that aloud to yourself and tell me you realize that's a complete asshole response. At least if you can do that, there might be hope for you as a human.

They kinda have no clue. Don't harsh her buzz

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. When we're about 53, the plan is that DH and I are retiring and cruising the islands.

Good luck to all of you older parents on here! It takes a special kind. I couldn't imagine.

We did that in our 20s as singles and our 30s together. I see my parents limping along on retirement cruises and I didn't want to do that. But as others have said, people have different time lines.

Go to China and Egpyt, two of my favorites. Enjoy!

+1 DH and I deliberately waited to have kids so we could travel and experience life together a a family of two before parenthood. It was so much fun. Built our marriage so much. I'm glad we didn't wait til retirement. You travel differently at 55 than 25.

[Anonymous]

PP here. I recommend India!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 41, my kids are 17 and 15.

I have friends just starting to have kids. That would suck.
We are young and healthy, I'm a few years we can travel WHILE STILL HEALTHY.
No medications or canes needed.
Hopefully we can do this for 20 years or more. Yeah, we are lucky and smart.

Oh, please. Stop patting yourself on the back. Your good fortune to meet your partner and have kids when you were young has nothing to do with being smart. Is it so hard to imagine that others didn't have the option to have kids in their 20s and early 30s? the OP's question was about parenting in your 50s, not a request for those who had kids younger to gloat and speculate about being an older parent.

Looking back do I wish that I had 2 kids by the time I was 26? Nope, not all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's tough having teens in your 50s. We take ours on vacation, but it's not easy. They alternate between being fun and being awful. DH and I have not changed a bit, but our children change every few seconds. It's exhausting. I'm looking forward to the post-college years, when other parents tell me their kids all get along and become nice and friendly and appreciative of their parents. You may get lucky and have nice, easy to manage kids, but I don't. Mine have always been strong-willed and difficult, but the teen years are the most difficult. Plus I worry incessantly about them. They think they are mature, but they know nothing....

I was a really young (teen) Mom. Children are now 21, 17, 14 & 7. Even at my age, having teens is exhausting. I mean, absolutely exhausting. There are days where I just want to run away. I am SO looking forward to when they are independent adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 41, my kids are 17 and 15.

I have friends just starting to have kids. That would suck.
We are young and healthy, I'm a few years we can travel WHILE STILL HEALTHY.
No medications or canes needed.
Hopefully we can do this for 20 years or more. Yeah, we are lucky and smart.

Oh, please. Stop patting yourself on the back. Your good fortune to meet your partner and have kids when you were young has nothing to do with being smart. Is it so hard to imagine that others didn't have the option to have kids in their 20s and early 30s? the OP's question was about parenting in your 50s, not a request for those who had kids younger to gloat and speculate about being an older parent.

Yeah PP is like the people who got lucky and timed the real estate market

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. When we're about 53, the plan is that DH and I are retiring and cruising the islands.

Good luck to all of you older parents on here! It takes a special kind. I couldn't imagine.

I think you're pretty special, too.

You can make what you want of that comment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 41, my kids are 17 and 15.

I have friends just starting to have kids. That would suck.
We are young and healthy, I'm a few years we can travel WHILE STILL HEALTHY.
No medications or canes needed.
Hopefully we can do this for 20 years or more. Yeah, we are lucky and smart.

don't know about that

We have a nice house on two acres with a pool. Both of us (50 and 54) are very healthy - no meds unless you count Vit. D.

couldn't give our kids 20 years ago what we can today

We have pensions and significant investments, as well as college plans with two years paid off for our oldest. Plus, my 80 yo mom is still going at it and stepping in to help with the kids. When I retire in 10 years, I'll be able to consult FT. My husband is retiring in 4 years, which is when our younger one will be a teen. And that's when they need you the most.

I'm home from work by 3:45 - with plenty of time to meet the bus for my younger one. My older one is home by 3:20.

We travel b/c we can - but don't take extravagant vacations just yet, as that's lost on younger children.

So you can brag all you want, but I lived my life as a "younger" woman and I'm living my life now - but with more stability for my own children and many more opportunities to share with them.

As long as you have your health, you have everything. My aunt died at 38, leaving 5 girls. I hardly envy her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's tough having teens in your 50s. We take ours on vacation, but it's not easy. They alternate between being fun and being awful. DH and I have not changed a bit, but our children change every few seconds. It's exhausting. I'm looking forward to the post-college years, when other parents tell me their kids all get along and become nice and friendly and appreciative of their parents. You may get lucky and have nice, easy to manage kids, but I don't. Mine have always been strong-willed and difficult, but the teen years are the most difficult. Plus I worry incessantly about them. They think they are mature, but they know nothing....

I was a really young (teen) Mom. Children are now 21, 17, 14 & 7. Even at my age, having teens is exhausting. I mean, absolutely exhausting. There are days where I just want to run away. I am SO looking forward to when they are independent adults.

,

First you have 4 kids which sounds exhausting at any age. not everyone, especially educated professionals in the DC area, want more than 2. Further, of course you are exhausted you were a teen mom. You have no idea how you would feel at 40 had you not struggled to raise 4 kids buy then! That's like over 20 years of sleepless nights.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 41, my kids are 17 and 15.

I have friends just starting to have kids. That would suck.
We are young and healthy, I'm a few years we can travel WHILE STILL HEALTHY.
No medications or canes needed.
Hopefully we can do this for 20 years or more. Yeah, we are lucky and smart.

Oh, please. Stop patting yourself on the back. Your good fortune to meet your partner and have kids when you were young has nothing to do with being smart. Is it so hard to imagine that others didn't have the option to have kids in their 20s and early 30s? the OP's question was about parenting in your 50s, not a request for those who had kids younger to gloat and speculate about being an older parent.

+1

I front-loaded my adventures. I lived abroad in my 20s and had fantastic life experiences. Would not trade those memories for anything.

Met my husband when I was 33, married at 35. I am 55 now and my kids are 18 and 16.

None of us has complete control over when we meet our spouses and marry anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 41, my kids are 17 and 15.

I have friends just starting to have kids. That would suck.
We are young and healthy, I'm a few years we can travel WHILE STILL HEALTHY.
No medications or canes needed.
Hopefully we can do this for 20 years or more. Yeah, we are lucky and smart.

Oh, please. Stop patting yourself on the back. Your good fortune to meet your partner and have kids when you were young has nothing to do with being smart. Is it so hard to imagine that others didn't have the option to have kids in their 20s and early 30s? the OP's question was about parenting in your 50s, not a request for those who had kids younger to gloat and speculate about being an older parent.

+1

I front-loaded my adventures. I lived abroad in my 20s and had fantastic life experiences. Would not trade those memories for anything.

Met my husband when I was 33, married at 35. I am 55 now and my kids are 18 and 16.

None of us has complete control over when we meet our spouses and marry anyway.

Thanks for posting. I'm not the OP but am interested in what it's like to have high school kids in your 50s. I am younger than you are now but had my kids at the same age you did. Do you feel the same as earlier PPs (tired, worried about retirement plus college)? I have no regrets about it but I wonder and worry sometimes about what this will be like when I'm approaching 60.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. When we're about 53, the plan is that DH and I are retiring and cruising the islands.

Good luck to all of you older parents on here! It takes a special kind. I couldn't imagine.

Hope that works out for you.

LOL!! Life has a funny way of not working out the way you expect. That is all.

Why all the backlash over this comment? I thought it was fine. Not everyone has to live the same life you do, on the same schedule.

Because of the implicit judgment and breezy ignorance? That and the fact that her answer is in no way helpful to OP. It's a bitchy humble brag just begging for a karmic ass-kicking.

That would be the oops baby at 41 karma has in store for her: middle schoolers love cruising the islands

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. When we're about 53, the plan is that DH and I are retiring and cruising the islands.

Good luck to all of you older parents on here! It takes a special kind. I couldn't imagine.

I'm 53 and can't imagine a better life than I have right now with my DH and our two teenagers (and our dog ). Thank you for the well wishes!

Agree! I couldn't imagine wasting my 20s being married and pregnant. That was for drinking and drugs!

+1

I was able to both party AND start a family in my twenties (not simultaneously, of course). Imagine!

???? So you partied while you left your kids with other people and you're declaring this proudly.

Might want to think again about that one.

Might want to work on your reading comprehension. I partied, stopped partying, married and had children in my twenties - in that order. I'm also educated and have lived overseas. I didn't miss out on anything.