Would like to hear from late 50, 60-somethings with teens
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Anonymous
OP If you do have a health problem or slow down as you get older -- own it. It is really OK. Your kids will forgive you and you will find that it is not necessary that you do EVERYTHING with them. It builds a sense of compassion and independence. Plus they will love you anyway. 
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Anonymous
Bye Felicia! |
Anonymous
Because of the implicit judgment and breezy ignorance? That and the fact that her answer is in no way helpful to OP. It's a bitchy humble brag just begging for a karmic ass-kicking. |
Anonymous
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It's a bit of an entitled and immature attitude, to feel you should chime in on a thread that has nothing to do with you and to which you have nothing to contribute. Normally, I'm sure most of us just ignore this kind of person, much as you do the toddler who runs in between talking adults and shouts, "I'm a big boy!"
So, OP, late fifties here, with my youngest kids in middle school and high school. Get your rest and take care of your health. I used to get by without sleep, but now it's just necessary. You're already over the hardest physical part, the young child/baby years. Mentally, the teen years are taxing, because, well, teens like to test you and their problems are serious, with higher stakes. There's a ton of driving them around to sports and activities. They tend to want to stay up later than you, so you lose the late-night privacy you used to have in the years when they were younger. And you need that sleep more as older parents. Do keep up with technology, as others have posted. We have monitoring and blocking programs on all computers and phones. They can find their ways around everything, of course, but they have a sense we're not oblivious, and that we may check up on them at any point. The sense that you might get checked up on can be helpful to make teens think twice before doing dumb things. The upside to being an older parent is that you'll probably be past the worst of any perimenopausal mood swings by the time you need your patience and calmness about you for the teen years. |
Anonymous
I know a similar couple. things are going fine right now - baby is two. |
Anonymous
Go away |
Anonymous
You often hear of people retiring so they can spend more time with their families. The problem is the spouse often doesn't want to spend more time together. He or she has a life. |
Anonymous
Ah but they are at the age of independence. Where it hits having had kids in my thirties is when BIL/SIL are empty nesters by 55 with kids making real money [out of grad school] , homes, babies. Their kids in early 30's. They get more time/years with grandchildren. |
Anonymous
I was able to both party AND start a family in my twenties (not simultaneously, of course). Imagine! |
Anonymous
| OP here. Yes the problems and pressures of adolescence today scare me, especially with the technological issues. Although these would be daunting for parents at any age. I do feel sad that I probably won't be young enough to enjoy grandkids ( if I'm lucky enough to be around for that at all) but I feel so much more grateful and appreciative of these kids then I would have had I had them at a more usual age. Thanks everyone for your comments! No worries on the "cruiser"- there are clearly people out there looking to snark on any post, regardless of the subject. I feel sad for them. |
Anonymous
We spent our 20's and 30's traveling all over and we didn't need walkers or prescription boxes along the way. We were very ready to have children and do not regret having them later. I don't feel like I'm a "special kind" (whatever that means). And maybe you can't imagine because your health is already going downhill??? |
Anonymous
| Finding this string fascinating. Definitely shows there are two sides (at least) to every coin. I am 49 and my husband (>50) and I are pregnant with our first. Have led a wonderfully fulfilling life to date, as a high-paid professional, who has travelled the world, been the go-to aunt for my numerous nieces/nephews, and am looking forward to this new phase. And, no, I don't feel anywhere close to my age, and I don't have energy problems, or out of touch with the youth of today, so don't bother wishing me well if you are planning to retire at 53 as I've set myself up very well. You chose your lot and I chose mine and the decision was a very conscious, educated one. My kid is going to be very lucky to have me as its (we don't know the sex yet) mom at this age ... I can provide much better than if I had the kid in my 30s. |
Anonymous
???? So you partied while you left your kids with other people and you're declaring this proudly. Might want to think again about that one. |
Anonymous
With all due respect, and lots of good wishes.... (And I say this as a mom who was 45 when my youngest was born....) You have no idea how much your energy will start to wane as you get into your fifties. |
Anonymous
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Don't know why we should argue about whether it's better to have kids at a younger or older age. You have them when you have them and that's it. Everyone has their reasons. How about we live and let live?
But, also, I don't get the comments about energy levels. As an older parent my energy level is just fine and I'm feeling great in my 60s. But I know I've been lucky to be healthy and to have the time to work out. Not everyone can. |