Boyfriend not interested in my family at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What kind of job has that weird schedule?

Boyfriend should run -- you sound lazy.

This was asked a few times and the OP has yet to answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But a wedding? He's supposed to come and be supportive and meet the rest of my family. He wouldn't even come to the family dinner the night before the wedding. His argument was that I was in the bridal party and we wouldn't see eachother anyways (seated apart). But I still think he could have sucked it up for one night?! I don't think I'm being unreasonable at all.

I can see his point, even though I agree with you. It doesn't sound like you guys are compatible, given that seeing family regularly is important to you and he is totally disinterested.

I think it's a deal breaker for YOU. He will never go as much as you want. Find someone who enjoys it.

[Anonymous]

BIG HUGE RED FLAG, OP! This is not a good sign, especially if you are close with your family. He is intentionally alienating himself from your family and it doesn't seem like he's giving them a chance. Eventually he will lull you into his mindset (or force you into it) and you will be seeing them less and less. Skipping the wedding of your serious girlfriend's sister is a really really bad sign of what's to come.

Please re-consider your relationships with him. It will be hard since you live together, but please do it for your own sake, and for your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of job has that weird schedule?

Boyfriend should run -- you sound lazy.

This was asked a few times and the OP has yet to answer.

My guess is OP's daddy pays her bills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of job has that weird schedule?

Boyfriend should run -- you sound lazy.

This was asked a few times and the OP has yet to answer.

My guess is OP's daddy pays her bills.

[Anonymous]

HM. Op here. Not sure how to respond because I really thought the problem was with my boyfriend not interested in my family. I have more family events this weekend, a birthday dinner and the actual birthday celebrations the next day and my boyfriend said he wasn't interested. I thought I would be ok with him coming once per week or even once a month but I don't know if that would work for me. I was just hoping he would change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:HM. Op here. Not sure how to respond because I really thought the problem was with my boyfriend not interested in my family. I have more family events this weekend, a birthday dinner and the actual birthday celebrations the next day and my boyfriend said he wasn't interested. I thought I would be ok with him coming once per week or even once a month but I don't know if that would work for me. I was just hoping he would change.

OP, please do both of you the favor of letting him go. You may find a guy who is more into your family. But for sure this guy will never be. You can't change him and you will only be more unhappy if you keep changing yourself just to please him. You are not right for each other. Spare yourself huge heartache later with a little heartache now. You will thank yourself soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:HM. Op here. Not sure how to respond because I really thought the problem was with my boyfriend not interested in my family. I have more family events this weekend, a birthday dinner and the actual birthday celebrations the next day and my boyfriend said he wasn't interested. I thought I would be ok with him coming once per week or even once a month but I don't know if that would work for me. I was just hoping he would change.

OP, please do both of you the favor of letting him go. You may find a guy who is more into your family. But for sure this guy will never be. You can't change him and you will only be more unhappy if you keep changing yourself just to please him. You are not right for each other. Spare yourself huge heartache later with a little heartache now. You will thank yourself soon.

This. I don't think either of you are wrong (although you may need to make more alone time with a BF in thr future). You just aren't a good match. And that's ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of job has that weird schedule?

Boyfriend should run -- you sound lazy.

This was asked a few times and the OP has yet to answer.

My guess is OP's daddy pays her bills.

+1 If not, maybe her parents digs are better. I had a friend/coworker who worked as a professional in IT. Had a hard time coping away from parents -- their house was nicer, had better amenities, mom cooked every night, etc. She had little reason to leave though she had her own place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No we are both white. It may seem excessive to some but this is my normal. My mom is sick with a chronic illness so I try to spend as much time with her as possible and my sister just had a baby so I want to see my niece too.

Family is really important to me but so is my boyfriend and I feel like I have compromised, we agreed that I would have dinner with him 5 nights out of the week and spend more time together doing things just us. But he still grudgingly participates with my family. He doesn't want to come to my brothers birthday next weekend either.

I don't understand how I seem like the crazy one?! I'm honestly shocked at these responses.

Don't be shocked, OP; there's a certain contingent here on DCUM that will villify you no matter what. If you want to hang out with your family, then that's what works for you; there's no right or wrong. I think you're mismatched with your current guy and need to move on to find someone who is also more family oriented. If you stay with him, you'll be fighting this fight forever. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Oh great this freak is back

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:HM. Op here. Not sure how to respond because I really thought the problem was with my boyfriend not interested in my family. I have more family events this weekend, a birthday dinner and the actual birthday celebrations the next day and my boyfriend said he wasn't interested. I thought I would be ok with him coming once per week or even once a month but I don't know if that would work for me. I was just hoping he would change.

Famous last words. Please end it now before you're two kids deep and deeply resentful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:HM. Op here. Not sure how to respond because I really thought the problem was with my boyfriend not interested in my family. I have more family events this weekend, a birthday dinner and the actual birthday celebrations the next day and my boyfriend said he wasn't interested. I thought I would be ok with him coming once per week or even once a month but I don't know if that would work for me. I was just hoping he would change.

Famous last words. Please end it now before you're two kids deep and deeply resentful.

Her attachment to her family is too much. He will never marry her so this is a moot point.

[Anonymous]

I married a guy who was and is this way. Quite simply, run, don't walk away from this relationship. He won't change and I can tell you it gets worse when children become a part of your lives. I love my husband, very much, but he has completely destroyed any closeness I had with my extended family due to this very behavior. I wouldn't do it again, if I had a do over and husband knows this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I don't understand how I seem like the crazy one?!

Because adults don't behave the way you do.

Yeah, this is not normal for most people. I understand it's your normal, but you are ... Atypical. (I really wanted to say completely nuts, but held back.)