Same sex marriage education at pk/k at gds

[Anonymous]

I remember my grandmother not "approving" of the interracial couple that moved in down our street. She was polite to their faces, and immediately after leaving would say, "It's just not right."

I'd never actually experienced prejudice, and at 6 years old I truly didn't understand why she had a problem with them. She had to explain it to me.

In other words, she had to teach her prejudice to a child. Good thing I was a slow learner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So I love how the one mom here tells her child "we don't believe in that but treat them nice -they are lovely people."

How f'ing confusing is that to a child? How about you let your own child form their beliefs instead of pushing yours onto them. And if you don't believe in it, why be nice? Your non-belief won't make your child not be gay in the future? If they are, you basically told them you don't believe in their feelings. Just crazy.

No. Some of us "crazies" are actually tolerant and compassionate but not accepting. Go ahead, bash me. I know you won't believe me and I know just how tolerant you really are.

I don't want your compassion or for you to "tolerate" me. If you can't accept me, my wife, and our kids, you are not treating us "nice[ly]."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should have known that going in at GDS. You'd probably be more comfortable at one of the several other privates that teacher love and compassion for everyone without explicitly addressing issues like same sex marriage in PK/K. I voted for same sex marriage in MD when it was on the ballot, but I'm not sure this is an issue I want my school to address to specifically cover with my 5 y/o. I've pointed out that some kids have two mommies or two daddies, but prefer that that type of discussion is between our family, not the school.

First, OP hasn't said if the school addressed it or it came from the kid in the class with two dads (though it seems like the latter). And second, even if a school addresses it, there's almost no chance it would go further in the PK class than what you've just described: some kids have two moms or two dads. End of story.

The school talked very formerly about different families. I support same sex marriage, but I am not sure I would like my 6 years old in a school which emphasize this in the curriculum.

06:32 back with another perspective. Our kids’ school recently talked about family structures as well, including theirs, with their two moms. That was pretty much the extent of it. It may surprise you to learn that that’s as far as I want them to go in school right now as well. It goes without saying that any explicit discussion is inappropriate, and I don’t even want their school to discuss the history or gay rights or the battle for marriage equality or bathroom laws or whatever, certainly not in Pre-K.

Our kids know that most boys marry girls and that most girls marry boys (as evidenced by the mostly heterosexual couples in the world, our neighbors, their grandparents, aunts and uncles, etc); still, they know that sometimes, a boy marries a boy or a girl marries a girl.

Our kids do NOT know that that woman who was at my mom’s funeral recently was my sister, their aunt, with whom I haven’t spoken in more than 16 years because she thinks Jesus hates gay people.

My kids don’t know those young adults there were the nephews I used to adore and babysit and take to Chuck E Cheese before my sister decided I wasn’t allowed to see them anymore – and those boys are their cousins. They don't know that my voice used to catch in my throat when I told friends how much I missed my nephews, but that all these years later, they're strangers to me now, so I just wish them the best from afar. They don’t know the younger girl is also their cousin, but I’d never even seen or met her before my mom got terminally ill.

They don’t know they have another grandmother – my partner’s mom who is their biological grandmother – who doesn’t give a shit about them because, nearly 20 years after we got together, she still isn’t over it. Or that when we go to the city where she lives semi-regularly, my partner calls to see if we can stop by, and the answer is always no.

They don’t know that their moms have been together for nearly 20 years (since college) but only married a couple of years ago because it was not legal before.

They have no idea there are entire organizations that exist with the sole purpose of stopping us from getting married (now, apparently, just bitching about the fact that we are).

They will learn these things in due time, but they’re happy and healthy and thriving, and I see no reason to burden them with these facts now.
So let me assure you that I have more at stake about this sort of information than you do. And right now, talking about different family structures is entirely appropriate. After all, the kids see us at school functions, birthday parties, etc already. We simply can’t – and won’t – pretend like we don’t exist.

Ugh, I'm sorry you have so many awful people in your family You sound like an awesome mom, though, and your kids are lucky to have you (both)!

- Another mom of a 2-mom family who appreciates her not-particularly-warm in-laws a little more

[Anonymous]

I agree. Thank you for sharing your story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So I love how the one mom here tells her child "we don't believe in that but treat them nice -they are lovely people."

How f'ing confusing is that to a child? How about you let your own child form their beliefs instead of pushing yours onto them. And if you don't believe in it, why be nice? Your non-belief won't make your child not be gay in the future? If they are, you basically told them you don't believe in their feelings. Just crazy.

No. Some of us "crazies" are actually tolerant and compassionate but not accepting. Go ahead, bash me. I know you won't believe me and I know just how tolerant you really are.

I don't want your compassion or for you to "tolerate" me. If you can't accept me, my wife, and our kids, you are not treating us "nice[ly]."

+1000

How can you be tolerant yet not accepting? That seems completely antithetical.

- yet another mom who is married to a woman with one son and another on the way

[Anonymous]

I suspect that those who believe that their children will accept gay couples as "normal" without talking to their children about it have not seen the research about children and racial bias. Unless you actually talk to your children about discrimination, there is a good chance that your children will show bias against gay couples, just as they show bias against blacks. We live in a society in which heterosexuality is still very much the norm, and in which many people hate gay people because of their sexual orientation (just as we live in a society that privileges lighter skin).

I applaud GDS for using the latest research to take a stand against discrimination. If you think that being gay is wrong, you are indeed on the wrong side of history.

[Anonymous]

It's legal for same-sex to marry, so of course it is going to come up at school. How odd to think otherwise.

[Anonymous]

It may be legal, but OP doesn't approve. So it needs to stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I suspect that those who believe that their children will accept gay couples as "normal" without talking to their children about it have not seen the research about children and racial bias. Unless you actually talk to your children about discrimination, there is a good chance that your children will show bias against gay couples, just as they show bias against blacks. We live in a society in which heterosexuality is still very much the norm, and in which many people hate gay people because of their sexual orientation (just as we live in a society that privileges lighter skin).

I applaud GDS for using the latest research to take a stand against discrimination. If you think that being gay is wrong, you are indeed on the wrong side of history.

There is a difference in believing something is discrimination, verses morally wrong

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So I love how the one mom here tells her child "we don't believe in that but treat them nice -they are lovely people."

How f'ing confusing is that to a child? How about you let your own child form their beliefs instead of pushing yours onto them. And if you don't believe in it, why be nice? Your non-belief won't make your child not be gay in the future? If they are, you basically told them you don't believe in their feelings. Just crazy.

No. Some of us "crazies" are actually tolerant and compassionate but not accepting. Go ahead, bash me. I know you won't believe me and I know just how tolerant you really are.

But as proved here, tolerance is no longer enough. Now it must be full acceptance. I guess Rush was right

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I suspect that those who believe that their children will accept gay couples as "normal" without talking to their children about it have not seen the research about children and racial bias. Unless you actually talk to your children about discrimination, there is a good chance that your children will show bias against gay couples, just as they show bias against blacks. We live in a society in which heterosexuality is still very much the norm, and in which many people hate gay people because of their sexual orientation (just as we live in a society that privileges lighter skin).

I applaud GDS for using the latest research to take a stand against discrimination. If you think that being gay is wrong, you are indeed on the wrong side of history.

There is a difference in believing something is discrimination, verses morally wrong

How about this? I believe that discriminating against gay people is morally wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:my dd is in k at gds. today she asked me whether she should marry a man or a woman. She said her classmate has two dads so she thinks she can also marry a woman. I am not against same sex marriage, but gds taught prek/k about same sex marriage. Do you think it is too much or am I overreacted?

I don't even understanding what you are asking.

The fact that you even think this is a question shows you are outdated in your thinking. You may want to think more like your child.

Children want and need to understand how the normal world works.

You may want to think past your nose.

So, the normal world has famlies with a mommy and daddy; and families with 2 mommies; and famlies with two daddies; and families with just one mom; and famlies with just one dad; and famlies with grandma.

This is normal to kids, until you tell them it's NOT normal.

I have not gotten to the end of the thread, but this seemed like a good place to add.

This is the new normal and the normal going forward for the foreseeable future. To say that you don't agree with normal is fine, but puts your child in the confusing position of seeing legally constructed families that don't comport with your normal. What is going to happen to your relationship with your child if your child finds that he/she is attracted to someone of the same sex? Do you think your disapproval will stop his/her attraction? Will you unconditionally love him/her or judge him/her for her attraction to the same sex. Will he/she feel comfortable even telling you? PP, I respect your views, but wonder if you have thought any of this through.

I don't equate this to the Nazis; I equate it to race relations. 50 years ago, interracial couples started to be more normal. Now, they are normal, and anyone who doesn't agree with them is a racist by social norms. Setting your child up to consider same sex couples to be inferior or different is setting your child up to be labeled a bigot when she grows up.

As for OP, telling a child that such family constructs exist doesn't mean she is going to marry a woman, nor does it mean she won't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should have known that going in at GDS. You'd probably be more comfortable at one of the several other privates that teacher love and compassion for everyone without explicitly addressing issues like same sex marriage in PK/K. I voted for same sex marriage in MD when it was on the ballot, but I'm not sure this is an issue I want my school to address to specifically cover with my 5 y/o. I've pointed out that some kids have two mommies or two daddies, but prefer that that type of discussion is between our family, not the school.

First, OP hasn't said if the school addressed it or it came from the kid in the class with two dads (though it seems like the latter). And second, even if a school addresses it, there's almost no chance it would go further in the PK class than what you've just described: some kids have two moms or two dads. End of story.

The school talked very formerly about different families. I support same sex marriage, but I am not sure I would like my 6 years old in a school which emphasize this in the curriculum.

06:32 back with another perspective. Our kids’ school recently talked about family structures as well, including theirs, with their two moms. That was pretty much the extent of it. It may surprise you to learn that that’s as far as I want them to go in school right now as well. It goes without saying that any explicit discussion is inappropriate, and I don’t even want their school to discuss the history or gay rights or the battle for marriage equality or bathroom laws or whatever, certainly not in Pre-K.

Our kids know that most boys marry girls and that most girls marry boys (as evidenced by the mostly heterosexual couples in the world, our neighbors, their grandparents, aunts and uncles, etc); still, they know that sometimes, a boy marries a boy or a girl marries a girl.

Our kids do NOT know that that woman who was at my mom’s funeral recently was my sister, their aunt, with whom I haven’t spoken in more than 16 years because she thinks Jesus hates gay people.

My kids don’t know those young adults there were the nephews I used to adore and babysit and take to Chuck E Cheese before my sister decided I wasn’t allowed to see them anymore – and those boys are their cousins. They don't know that my voice used to catch in my throat when I told friends how much I missed my nephews, but that all these years later, they're strangers to me now, so I just wish them the best from afar. They don’t know the younger girl is also their cousin, but I’d never even seen or met her before my mom got terminally ill.

They don’t know they have another grandmother – my partner’s mom who is their biological grandmother – who doesn’t give a shit about them because, nearly 20 years after we got together, she still isn’t over it. Or that when we go to the city where she lives semi-regularly, my partner calls to see if we can stop by, and the answer is always no.

They don’t know that their moms have been together for nearly 20 years (since college) but only married a couple of years ago because it was not legal before.

They have no idea there are entire organizations that exist with the sole purpose of stopping us from getting married (now, apparently, just bitching about the fact that we are).

They will learn these things in due time, but they’re happy and healthy and thriving, and I see no reason to burden them with these facts now.
So let me assure you that I have more at stake about this sort of information than you do. And right now, talking about different family structures is entirely appropriate. After all, the kids see us at school functions, birthday parties, etc already. We simply can’t – and won’t – pretend like we don’t exist.

There are plenty of families that embrace anyone's happiness. I am sorry about your MIL and sister. My daughter is 14, came out at 12, and I hope she never loses anyone in her life because she wants to be true to herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's legal for same-sex to marry, so of course it is going to come up at school. How odd to think otherwise.

Agree. You want to be against it? Go to Catholic school. Where they say to love thy neighbor, unless they are gay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I remember my grandmother not "approving" of the interracial couple that moved in down our street. She was polite to their faces, and immediately after leaving would say, "It's just not right."

I'd never actually experienced prejudice, and at 6 years old I truly didn't understand why she had a problem with them. She had to explain it to me.

In other words, she had to teach her prejudice to a child. Good thing I was a slow learner.

Exactly

Prejudice is taught. Young kids are kind, friendly, and inclusive to anyone that wants to smile and play with them. They learn to be assholes from their role models, whoever they are. Parents, musicians, athletes, pastors, grandparents, peers, etc...