Would you move if you disliked your neighborhood/neighbors?

[Anonymous]

Is it possible that neighbor so and so was trying to make friends with you at one point and you missed the cues so now she is talking badly about you to people? People can do funny things when they feel hurt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We actually went to criminal court over incident with our neighbors. They were found guilty. (We're talking $750K+ homes here.) We absolutely swore we wouldn't move and didn't. It was rough for a few years bc we were seen as the "bad guys" (such a weird neighborhood dynamic). Anyhow, it's been a few years. We're glad we stayed. We love our home and bought for the school district. Some neighbors have moved out and new ones have moved in and everyone has moved on. Very glad we didn't move.

How did you deal with the stress? What steps did you take to cope with the situation? I find myself feeling very anxious/sick to my stomach every time I go outside, which isn't good.

PP poster. It was made easier bc I WOH so had a job to go to and kids were in DC. We just kept busy without outside activities, but I have to tell you the worst was the next summer at the pool. I just held my head high and played with my kids. I was actually called nasty names by one woman in front of my kids. I just kept showing up and showing we weren't going any where. Luckily my kids were fairly young and not clued in so where pretty unaware. We were just determined that we weren't going to be chased from our home bc of the incident.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love dogs but if one of my neighbors was routinely walking 2 dogs off leash and those dogs were barking at me and my kids I would report it.

OP here. Report it to whom? The HOA president knows and refuses to talk to this guy for fear of "making waves." Other neighbors have said the same thing--they won't confront the guy. I don't walk in the neighborhood as much as I might otherwise because of these 2 vicious, barking dogs. I wouldn't mind them if they were on leash but this awful neighbor never puts them on leash.

If the dogs are routinely off leash and running up to you and your kids barking and menacing you YOU should report it to animal control or the police. I don't care how big your yards are, that isn't o.k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Be aware that elementary school can have much more opportunities to get to know people in your neighborhood. We live in a very compact neighborhood but didn't have any kids right near us and I mostly was friends with people I knew through my kids' out-of-the-neighborhood preschool. Once they started school it was shocking to find out all these kids lived here that we'd never met!

OP here, yes I am looking forward to the elementary school years, they're just so far away right now! Maybe our new preschool next year will be better for socializing and making friends. I did make several friends in my first moms group, but they are all full-time working moms, so I only see them sporadically on the weekends. Would love to make some other SAHM friends.

Playground and mommy and me classes at the rec center. That will at least get you around other moms with kids the same age.

You need to get out and about and stop worrying about the neighbors. Once you get busy and start feeling happy about life you will suddenly be surrounded by people who want to know you. But it might take a few years because your kids are still so young.

Establish a routine for yourself: breakfast, laundry, morning walk, playground time, quiet time at home/lunch, errands, tidying at home, dinner, book reading, bath, bed. Or something like that.

If you can't take a walk down your street without the neighbor's dogs barking at you and menacing your small children - call Animal Control. That is absolutely ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You must be the OP of the getting anxious/snowed-in thread.

I hate having neighbors who are close by, so I say don't move. They're always in my business and I can't come and go from my house without someone keeping track of it. However, I'm also an introvert and hate having kids run up to my house as soon as I pull in the driveway and ringing my doorbell at 9:00 on a Saturday morning.

Also, you're on the HOA Board and no friends. You're room mom and no friends. Member of the PTA and no friends. Are you sure you're not part of the problem.

+100000


THIS. THIS. THIS.

[Anonymous]

I would stay put. Even if you buy in what you think is a social neighborhood, there is no guarantee you will have likeable/social neighbors. We bought in a supposedly great neighborhood, but our neighbors are a nightmare (one neighbor appears to have psychological issues and yells at me and the kids whenever he sees us that we're "pigs" because we don't put our trash can in our garage like he apparently wants us to do -- just an example). We're not moving...I'll wait for the bad ones to die or move, because I like the lot and the house, as well as the schools.

It sounds like your neighbors are merely old/apathetic. That's way better than some alternatives. Work harder at connecting with moms at preschool, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would move for a friendlier neighborhood. We love our neighborhood and know tons of people, and that all happened because of a central park/playground in the 'hood. So I would recommend, if you do move, buying in an area that has a walkable playground/park.

OP here. I wish we had something like that. I guess because of the large yards and the fact that most people have pools, that there is no community/neighborhood pool, park, or playground. Nothing at all within walking distance.

Put a big ass rainbow play set , a huge sandbox, a figure 8 bike path, a playhouse and some park equipment (merry go round? Climbing thing?) and watch the kids come to your yard. It can be the park.
All it takes is one or two fun families and you will be happier.

+1

We are the fun family - you can choose to hang around nice people only, seriously. Do it.

[Anonymous]

OP I would consider moving. The demographic will not change, and the schools in Herndon are not the best. Most people make most of their mom friends in ES and the neighborhood when the ids are young. You will be missing out on that permanently. DINK neighborhoods do not become family neighborhoods when the school are not pushing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You must be the OP of the getting anxious/snowed-in thread.

I hate having neighbors who are close by, so I say don't move. They're always in my business and I can't come and go from my house without someone keeping track of it. However, I'm also an introvert and hate having kids run up to my house as soon as I pull in the driveway and ringing my doorbell at 9:00 on a Saturday morning.

Also, you're on the HOA Board and no friends. You're room mom and no friends. Member of the PTA and no friends. Are you sure you're not part of the problem.

+100000


THIS. THIS. THIS.

There may be some truth to this, but when I was a SAHM, the moms grouped together strictly by DCs age. So there was no overlap with the moms when the kids were 3+ years apart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP's neighbors seem to value the same things that led her to choose the neighborhood in the first instance, but now she's decided it's not "social" enough (even though there's no real indication at all that she's particularly outgoing or friendly)? And now she's ready to take a big hit on her house so she can move somewhere else in NoVa that presumably is trendier than Herndon, but where she may end up just as flummoxed by the lack of connection to her neighbors?

I know that people here will jump at the opportunity to recommend their own neighborhoods yet again, but I'm not sure moving is a good idea for OP. Maybe she needs to work on staying put and finding ways to connect with others before taking the expensive, but in some ways easier, way out. It would suck to lose $$$$ selling a house and then find out that, say, some closer-in neighborhood with overcrowded schools isn't all that either.

+1

"We live in the best neighborhood EVER!!!" Sure you do, that is why you have to force it on people. :sarcasm:

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I would consider moving. The demographic will not change, and the schools in Herndon are not the best. Most people make most of their mom friends in ES and the neighborhood when the ids are young. You will be missing out on that permanently. DINK neighborhoods do not become family neighborhoods when the school are not pushing it.

Wait, doesn't part of Herndon feed into LANGLEY HS???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would stay put. Even if you buy in what you think is a social neighborhood, there is no guarantee you will have likeable/social neighbors. We bought in a supposedly great neighborhood, but our neighbors are a nightmare (one neighbor appears to have psychological issues and yells at me and the kids whenever he sees us that we're "pigs" because we don't put our trash can in our garage like he apparently wants us to do -- just an example). We're not moving...I'll wait for the bad ones to die or move, because I like the lot and the house, as well as the schools.

It sounds like your neighbors are merely old/apathetic. That's way better than some alternatives. Work harder at connecting with moms at preschool, etc.

+1

The neighborhood with psych issues is usually the neighbor that tries to tell people how "great" the neighborhood is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The neighbor who stares, well, so what - she probably wonders why you're staring at her. Slander and bullying? It sounds like you have drama with people who you don't even know. I doubt that a move is going to solve that for you.

OP here. When she goes up to the property line, pretends to be pruning a bush, and stares at us for 20 minutes while we are playing in the backyard, yes that is over the top creepy. And yes, while we don't know them, and have barely spoken to them, she is spreading lies about us (other neighbors have told us what she has said). She makes things up that are untrue. It bothers me. How would you handle that?

OP, you need to pay trashy people like this no mind at all. Zero. They speak for themselves. My friends have a hot tub in their back porch and they have caught their creepy neighbor at the fence leering at them. Talk about creepy. Document everything (cameras), and hire a lawyer or two, if you think it is necessitated. But for God's sake, don't get caught up in the neighbor's crazy. They want you to take the bait. Stay away from the crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would stay put. Even if you buy in what you think is a social neighborhood, there is no guarantee you will have likeable/social neighbors. We bought in a supposedly great neighborhood, but our neighbors are a nightmare (one neighbor appears to have psychological issues and yells at me and the kids whenever he sees us that we're "pigs" because we don't put our trash can in our garage like he apparently wants us to do -- just an example). We're not moving...I'll wait for the bad ones to die or move, because I like the lot and the house, as well as the schools.

It sounds like your neighbors are merely old/apathetic. That's way better than some alternatives. Work harder at connecting with moms at preschool, etc.

+1

The neighborhood with psych issues is usually the neighbor that tries to tell people how "great" the neighborhood is.

neighborhood=neighbor

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The neighbor who stares, well, so what - she probably wonders why you're staring at her. Slander and bullying? It sounds like you have drama with people who you don't even know. I doubt that a move is going to solve that for you.

OP here. When she goes up to the property line, pretends to be pruning a bush, and stares at us for 20 minutes while we are playing in the backyard, yes that is over the top creepy. And yes, while we don't know them, and have barely spoken to them, she is spreading lies about us (other neighbors have told us what she has said). She makes things up that are untrue. It bothers me. How would you handle that?

OP, you need to pay trashy people like this no mind at all. Zero. They speak for themselves. My friends have a hot tub in their back porch and they have caught their creepy neighbor at the fence leering at them. Talk about creepy. Document everything (cameras), and hire a lawyer or two, if you think it is necessitated. But for God's sake, don't get caught up in the neighbor's crazy. They want you to take the bait. Stay away from the crazy.

OP, build a fence on that side of the property, for heaven's sake. Fences make good neighbors. This stuff is not hard. Forget the neighbors. Work on building relationships with other moms with kids of similar age. You are fixated on finding the perfect neighbors, but that's just not going to happen.