Would you move if you disliked your neighborhood/neighbors?

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01/26/2016 21:06

Subject: Would you move if you disliked your neighborhood/neighbors?

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Anonymous

This blizzard and how unhelpful/disinterested our neighbors have been throughout the blizzard has gotten me thinking about how much I dislike our neighborhood/neighbors and how I would love to move (but still stay in NoVA).

We bought our SFH in Herndon 8 years ago pre-kids. We were DINKS, this was our first home purchase, and it took us a year to find this house. It's a beautiful house, in a beautiful neighborhood, in a convenient location. We have 1.5 acres, and a gorgeous yard. We have put over $100,000 in renovations and upgrades into the house after we bought it. My husband also dislikes the neighborhood/neighbors but says we have spent too much money on renovations/have over-improved for the neighborhood and if we sold we would sell at a huge loss. I understand this, but also feel that you can't put a price on neighborliness and sense of community, and I am also very unhappy here.

The problem is that our neighborhood is mostly empty nesters and retirees, there are practically no kids (kids are mainly high school kids), and this is one of the most antisocial, apathetic neighborhoods I've ever heard of. We don't know our neighbors at all, and they are disinterested and rude, the kind who go back into the house if they see you outside, they gossip about us to other neighbors, and in general took a disliking to us the minute we moved in (because we are not in the demographic of the neighborhood).

We didn't really think about the importance of a sense of community/friendly/social neighborhood when we bought the house. Our neighborhood has no social events during the year, no parties, no listserv/Facebook page, and no sense of community spirit whatsoever. People here value their huge yards and keeping to themselves. This wasn't something that bothered me at first, but now that we have kids and I'm a SAHM, I would love to be in a neighborhood with a more family friendly atmosphere. Also, we are on the HOA board, but that has not facilitated meeting other neighbors or improving the unfriendliness situation at all.

We now have a 2.5 year old and a 6 month old, and I'm a SAHM. I feel like we have no sense of community here. The yards are large and people keep to themselves. There is no street life, no kids outside playing, very few people walking, etc. because it's mostly empty nesters. We have no friends at all in this neighborhood and I doubt we ever will. I have introduced myself to a few moms I have met while out walking who have young kids, and they seemed completely disinterested in getting to know me/having playdates. Pretty much they're all full-time working moms who have nannies/au pairs.

Anyhow, just wondering what you would do if you also lived in such an awful neighborhood with awful neighbors. I don't feel happy in this neighborhood anymore, even though I really like our house and the location. I don't feel like it feels like home, or that we have put down any roots here, despite having lived here for 8 years now. I know that we can find community elsewhere other than neighborhood, but that really hasn't happened yet either, not at my toddler's preschool, or in moms groups I have joined, etc.