Daughter got in a fight at school - how to help her defend herself next time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is in public school so I don't think there is a way to change schools. And moving isn't an option. We live where we can afford and that is the state of the schools in this area.

Yes, yes you can. Keep documenting the bullying, please. All in emails, so there is a record. After a certain numbers of incidents you should be able to request that the school is not protecting your child and you need to switch.

Not the OP, but did you not read that the family can afford to live where they are and moving is not an option because of finances?

Briggs Chaney's catchment is not the only lower cost of housing area available. Move upCounty into Germantown or even over the line into HoCo. You're so close to HoCo anyway.

[Anonymous]

Any update, OP? Hugs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is in public school so I don't think there is a way to change schools. And moving isn't an option. We live where we can afford and that is the state of the schools in this area.

Yes, yes you can. Keep documenting the bullying, please. All in emails, so there is a record. After a certain numbers of incidents you should be able to request that the school is not protecting your child and you need to switch.

Not the OP, but did you not read that the family can afford to live where they are and moving is not an option because of finances?

Briggs Chaney's catchment is not the only lower cost of housing area available. Move upCounty into Germantown or even over the line into HoCo. You're so close to HoCo anyway.

"I can't afford to move" means "I can't afford to move", not "There are no houses in my price range".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is in public school so I don't think there is a way to change schools. And moving isn't an option. We live where we can afford and that is the state of the schools in this area.

Yes, yes you can. Keep documenting the bullying, please. All in emails, so there is a record. After a certain numbers of incidents you should be able to request that the school is not protecting your child and you need to switch.

Not the OP, but did you not read that the family can afford to live where they are and moving is not an option because of finances?

Briggs Chaney's catchment is not the only lower cost of housing area available. Move upCounty into Germantown or even over the line into HoCo. You're so close to HoCo anyway.

"I can't afford to move" means "I can't afford to move", not "There are no houses in my price range".

OP here - no real updates except I did put together an incident outline that I will send to principal tomorrow. Still looking for a kid's self defense class that works for our schedules. I also started wrestling around with her, sometimes being a little rougher but it really isn't the same. I am teaching her how to verbally respond in a more menacing way, but she is very uncomfortable being mean so this is an area where she needs more practice. She has a cell phone and I told her she can start taking it to school so she can call the police if she is physically attacked again. I also set her phone up in a way where she can quickly record any incidents.

I would love to move, but we would take a major loss on our house - I already worked thru the numbers. We would have to move out of the area completely which would not be an issue except my family is very close-by.

[Anonymous]

A lesson in smack-talk is in order. Learning to speak in a way that discourages bullying would put a stop to it, along with finding allegiances within her peer group. Building relationships within the school will mean that she belongs and will help remove the target from her back.

Karate? No. That's not an answer. Socialization and confidence, that's will make a meaningful difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is in public school so I don't think there is a way to change schools. And moving isn't an option. We live where we can afford and that is the state of the schools in this area.

Yes, yes you can. Keep documenting the bullying, please. All in emails, so there is a record. After a certain numbers of incidents you should be able to request that the school is not protecting your child and you need to switch.

Not the OP, but did you not read that the family can afford to live where they are and moving is not an option because of finances?

Briggs Chaney's catchment is not the only lower cost of housing area available. Move upCounty into Germantown or even over the line into HoCo. You're so close to HoCo anyway.

"I can't afford to move" means "I can't afford to move", not "There are no houses in my price range".

OP here - no real updates except I did put together an incident outline that I will send to principal tomorrow. Still looking for a kid's self defense class that works for our schedules. I also started wrestling around with her, sometimes being a little rougher but it really isn't the same. I am teaching her how to verbally respond in a more menacing way, but she is very uncomfortable being mean so this is an area where she needs more practice. She has a cell phone and I told her she can start taking it to school so she can call the police if she is physically attacked again. I also set her phone up in a way where she can quickly record any incidents.

I would love to move, but we would take a major loss on our house - I already worked thru the numbers. We would have to move out of the area completely which would not be an issue except my family is very close-by.

You may have to do this. I teach for MCPS and have very, very little confidence it the ability of the system to stop bullying once it has escalated to physical attacks. Worse, with social media, the bullying often follows the targeted child to the new school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

You may have to do this. I teach for MCPS and have very, very little confidence it the ability of the system to stop bullying once it has escalated to physical attacks. Worse, with social media, the bullying often follows the targeted child to the new school.

Shorter PP: You should take a major loss on your house for something that probably won't work anyway.

Really?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
A lesson in smack-talk is in order. Learning to speak in a way that discourages bullying would put a stop to it, along with finding allegiances within her peer group. Building relationships within the school will mean that she belongs and will help remove the target from her back.

Karate? No. That's not an answer. Socialization and confidence, that will make a meaningful difference.

I agree with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You may have to do this. I teach for MCPS and have very, very little confidence it the ability of the system to stop bullying once it has escalated to physical attacks. Worse, with social media, the bullying often follows the targeted child to the new school.

Shorter PP: You should take a major loss on your house for something that probably won't work anyway.

Really?

Well, I value my kid's physical safety and mental health more than money, so yeah. Doesn't everyone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You may have to do this. I teach for MCPS and have very, very little confidence it the ability of the system to stop bullying once it has escalated to physical attacks. Worse, with social media, the bullying often follows the targeted child to the new school.

Shorter PP: You should take a major loss on your house for something that probably won't work anyway.

Really?

Well, I value my kid's physical safety and mental health more than money, so yeah. Doesn't everyone?

Not everybody has lots of extra money to throw down a hole -- which is what this would be, according to the top PP. If I'm going to spend a big chunk of my household net worth on something, I want it be something that has a good chance of actually being effective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You may have to do this. I teach for MCPS and have very, very little confidence it the ability of the system to stop bullying once it has escalated to physical attacks. Worse, with social media, the bullying often follows the targeted child to the new school.

Shorter PP: You should take a major loss on your house for something that probably won't work anyway.

Really?

Well, I value my kid's physical safety and mental health more than money, so yeah. Doesn't everyone?

Not everybody has lots of extra money to throw down a hole -- which is what this would be, according to the top PP. If I'm going to spend a big chunk of my household net worth on something, I want it be something that has a good chance of actually being effective.

I don't have "lots of extra money" since I'm just a public school teacher, but hey, it's your kid. I just don't ever want to tell my child that I could have tried something else to keep you safe, but I didn't want to lose any money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I don't have "lots of extra money" since I'm just a public school teacher, but hey, it's your kid. I just don't ever want to tell my child that I could have tried something else to keep you safe, but I didn't want to lose any money.

Or, more accurately, "I could have tried something that probably wouldn't have worked, and would certainly have had a major effect on the whole family's financial security, but I decided instead to try something that had a greater chance of success."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You may have to do this. I teach for MCPS and have very, very little confidence it the ability of the system to stop bullying once it has escalated to physical attacks. Worse, with social media, the bullying often follows the targeted child to the new school.

Shorter PP: You should take a major loss on your house for something that probably won't work anyway.

Really?

Well, I value my kid's physical safety and mental health more than money, so yeah. Doesn't everyone?

Not everybody has lots of extra money to throw down a hole -- which is what this would be, according to the top PP. If I'm going to spend a big chunk of my household net worth on something, I want it be something that has a good chance of actually being effective.

I don't have "lots of extra money" since I'm just a public school teacher, but hey, it's your kid. I just don't ever want to tell my child that I could have tried something else to keep you safe, but I didn't want to lose any money.

OP here - I would consider private or religious school before going thru a move. At least with a religious school, it would be cheaper and I can stay where I am. At this point, I want her to reach a state where she isn't a target. A new school isn't a guarantee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I don't have "lots of extra money" since I'm just a public school teacher, but hey, it's your kid. I just don't ever want to tell my child that I could have tried something else to keep you safe, but I didn't want to lose any money.

Or, more accurately, "I could have tried something that probably wouldn't have worked, and would certainly have had a major effect on the whole family's financial security, but I decided instead to try something that had a greater chance of success."

Like I said, it's your kid. People are allowed to have different priorities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I don't have "lots of extra money" since I'm just a public school teacher, but hey, it's your kid. I just don't ever want to tell my child that I could have tried something else to keep you safe, but I didn't want to lose any money.

Or, more accurately, "I could have tried something that probably wouldn't have worked, and would certainly have had a major effect on the whole family's financial security, but I decided instead to try something that had a greater chance of success."

Like I said, it's your kid. People are allowed to have different priorities.

Moving doesn't necessarily solve the problem.