How do I respond to my GF's behavior on NYE?

[Anonymous]

“When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time.”

This is ridiculous. If my DH had believed in that stupid phrase we never would have dated or gotten married. I was in the middle of my second round of chemo the day I met him and I was a bitch. I felt like shit and I was trying to get by with zero help from anyone because I had just moved 500 miles away when I got sick and didn't know anyone. I explained it to him a week later, apologized, and on my third cycle, he visited me every day. The way that it played out says a lot about both of us and the way we would handle our future.

[Anonymous]

He's much more mature at 23 than I would have been. I would have gone to the bar just to bag one of her friends.

[Anonymous]

I would break up with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time.”

This is ridiculous. If my DH had believed in that stupid phrase we never would have dated or gotten married. I was in the middle of my second round of chemo the day I met him and I was a bitch. I felt like shit and I was trying to get by with zero help from anyone because I had just moved 500 miles away when I got sick and didn't know anyone. I explained it to him a week later, apologized, and on my third cycle, he visited me every day. The way that it played out says a lot about both of us and the way we would handle our future.

Your specific circumstance doesn't make the phrase stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time.”

This is ridiculous. If my DH had believed in that stupid phrase we never would have dated or gotten married. I was in the middle of my second round of chemo the day I met him and I was a bitch. I felt like shit and I was trying to get by with zero help from anyone because I had just moved 500 miles away when I got sick and didn't know anyone. I explained it to him a week later, apologized, and on my third cycle, he visited me every day. The way that it played out says a lot about both of us and the way we would handle our future.

I posted that quote and I don't think it really applies to you at all. A first impression isn't the same thing as like...he's been dating this girl for two years. He knows her. He seems to think this outburst is indicative of her true self. I don't think people really CHANGE. You didn't change, you just realized you were being a jerk, explained why (and had an insanely good reason why) and then continued on not being a jerk. Not really remotely the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time.”

This is ridiculous. If my DH had believed in that stupid phrase we never would have dated or gotten married. I was in the middle of my second round of chemo the day I met him and I was a bitch. I felt like shit and I was trying to get by with zero help from anyone because I had just moved 500 miles away when I got sick and didn't know anyone. I explained it to him a week later, apologized, and on my third cycle, he visited me every day. The way that it played out says a lot about both of us and the way we would handle our future.

I posted that quote and I don't think it really applies to you at all. A first impression isn't the same thing as like...he's been dating this girl for two years. He knows her. He seems to think this outburst is indicative of her true self. I don't think people really CHANGE. You didn't change, you just realized you were being a jerk, explained why (and had an insanely good reason why) and then continued on not being a jerk. Not really remotely the same thing.

I agree. Also if you're being a bitch because you're going though chemo, its because you're going through chemo, not because you're a bitch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time.”

This is ridiculous. If my DH had believed in that stupid phrase we never would have dated or gotten married. I was in the middle of my second round of chemo the day I met him and I was a bitch. I felt like shit and I was trying to get by with zero help from anyone because I had just moved 500 miles away when I got sick and didn't know anyone. I explained it to him a week later, apologized, and on my third cycle, he visited me every day. The way that it played out says a lot about both of us and the way we would handle our future.

You're stupid. You know good and well your situation doesn't apply here.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, she sounds like a mess. Let her go. Anyone who uses being drunk ot hurt you is no good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's much more mature at 23 than I would have been. I would have gone to the bar just to bag one of her friends.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm Italian and this is not Italian behavior. This is trashy behavior.

She showed you who she really is. Believe her. She's not worth keeping around.

Are you from the north? there's a huge difference between a woman from Bologna for example and one from Napoli

Nope, Naples. Sorry to prove you wrong! We are not a stereotype.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time.”

This is ridiculous. If my DH had believed in that stupid phrase we never would have dated or gotten married. I was in the middle of my second round of chemo the day I met him and I was a bitch. I felt like shit and I was trying to get by with zero help from anyone because I had just moved 500 miles away when I got sick and didn't know anyone. I explained it to him a week later, apologized, and on my third cycle, he visited me every day. The way that it played out says a lot about both of us and the way we would handle our future.

+1 People change. If OP's girlfriend is like this all the time, I would encourage him to break it off b/c it does not sound like they are a good match. But if this is a rare occurrance and she has other good qualities, time may change her for the better. Either way they are young and probably aren't going to last a lifetime anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time.”

This is ridiculous. If my DH had believed in that stupid phrase we never would have dated or gotten married. I was in the middle of my second round of chemo the day I met him and I was a bitch. I felt like shit and I was trying to get by with zero help from anyone because I had just moved 500 miles away when I got sick and didn't know anyone. I explained it to him a week later, apologized, and on my third cycle, he visited me every day. The way that it played out says a lot about both of us and the way we would handle our future.

Your story is sweet, you were dealing with some extreme circumstances and offered a real apology. The quote above is so important when it comes to people who you know but show you a side you have never seen before, their true colors so to speak.. it really doesn't translate to your story which really had a lot more to do with first impressions, which were misleading

[Anonymous]

I'm just going to point out that you noted that she came down stairs shortly after you texted and was apologetic.

Translation, she cheated on you.

Nobody who was supposedly as drunk as she was pops out of bed that quickly, unless they're ushering a New Years mistake out the back door.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm just going to point out that you noted that she came down stairs shortly after you texted and was apologetic.

Translation, she cheated on you.

Nobody who was supposedly as drunk as she was pops out of bed that quickly, unless they're ushering a New Years mistake out the back door.

Oh man, great point. I think this is definitely the case here. She would do that out of spite.