How do I respond to my GF's behavior on NYE?

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01/02/2016 22:19

Subject: How do I respond to my GF's behavior on NYE?

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Anonymous

I'm a 23yo guy, she is 24. We've been together for 2 years.

For NYE we had a big group of her high school friends over in her apartment. We live in the same building but she lives in a 2BR with a roommate and I have my own studio. She comes from a Spanish/Italian family where there's a symbolic tradition to fill a cup of water in 2015 and then pour it out once the clock rolls over to "discard" 2015. She explained the tradition to the group and gave everyone a plastic cup. I wasn't really paying attention and I drank the cup of water. On the walk outside the building to discard the water, she realizes I drank it and starts berating me in front of her friends. What a child I am, how she feels like she's my mother, I never listen/understand her, etc.

We were walking to a paid NYE event shortly thereafter and once we get a little in front of the group she continues tearing into me. I turned to her and said something to the effect of "If you don't stop this right now, I'm going to turn around and go home. I'm going to this paid NYE event even though I don't want to and I don't need to listen to you criticize me on the whole walk there". She continued, and so I turned around and went back to my apartment.

She came back to my apartment and told me the visitors were her friends and that I don't have any friends. I'm extremely close with 3 guys and one of them lives in SF (so I don't get to see him that often), and she has more of a mile-wide inch-deep relationship with her female acquaintances so I suspect that's why she would say that. Regardless, the remark made no sense in the context of our argument and it was clear she just trying to be hurtful. She said "I'm leaving and if you don't come with me we're done". I said "I think you're being really unreasonable, but if that's what you want". I then went up to grab my stuff from her apartment, and on the way in the elevator she was gleefully rubbing in my face how she is going to a bar with her friends and I'm not. I didn't go with her and fell asleep.

The next morning, I sent her a text that said "I am really really disappointed in your behavior towards me last night". She came down to my apartment and was really apologetic for being "nasty bitch". I explained that I'm not sure why she'd say she feels like my mother or that she takes care of me. I do well for myself, I am totally self-sufficient, and have my life together for a 20-something let alone a 23 year old. She is a self-admittedly bossy and sometimes controlling person, and she said she thought it might be more a function of that vs me being immature or in need of someone to take care of me.

I have literally never had a significant other be so vindictive and deliberately hurtful, I almost feel like I saw a side of her personality that does not bode well for the future. I don't know what to do from here.