How do I respond to my GF's behavior on NYE?

[Anonymous]

Run. She showed you her true colors. Imagine being married to that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have seen a handful of wives publicly berate the husband. I never connected the dots till now but none of the marriages lasted more than a few years.

I have a friend who didn't publicly berate her DH, but did treat him like a child around his friends. He was having Boy's Night at their house. She called him up from the basement because he forgot to put the butter away. They are divorced now.

Moral of the story... don't be disrespectful to your SO, especially around friends or in public. And if you truly think your SO is an idiot, don't marry and have kids with them.

[Anonymous]

My guess is that you are a little laid back and she's not. Therefore, when she wants something to happen, she wants it RIGHT NOW! and you are a little more flexible. If this is so, this type of woman needs a type of man who is a planner and a do-er. Not that you aren't, but someone who likes to work a lot at whatever (work, chores, home projects, etc). Long term, it's a bad match, b/c she's going to be constantly irritated by you and you're going to feel berated by her. I see it all the time. And just a note: often when women get anxious or overwhelmed they express it through irritability (this is a generalization).

[Anonymous]

You are 23 years old. Why are you putting up with this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not the sort of thing that gets better. She's showing you how she handles it when things don't go her way. This was about a NYE celebration, and she was unkind. Imagine when it's something serious? You date to learn about the other person and figure out if you're compatible. This was not a good sign.

Perhaps she was socially anxious?

[Anonymous]

This is not the sort of thing that gets better. She's showing you how she handles it when things don't go her way. This was about a NYE celebration, and she was unkind. Imagine when it's something serious? You date to learn about the other person and figure out if you're compatible. This was not a good sign.


LISTEN TO THIS WISDOM OP!

+2
She might be a wonderful person the rest of the time (which, honestly, I'd have a hard time believing) but her behavior that night was egregious enough to leave her. Seriously, you don't want that headache. She didn't just berate you for drinking the water, she berated you on the walk to the next venue, and then followed you home to continue to argue! She tried to be nasty and she tried to be hurtful and this wasn't a heat of the moment thing, lots of time in there for her to calm down if she wanted.
You'll be better off in the long run without her.

I agree with the above advice/observations.

Full disclosure: My DH has ADHD and I know all about forgetful, unmindful and unattentive. In 20 years together, I have NEVER berated him in front of others even when after drinking. That is just unacceptable behavior and likely just the most egregious sign that she'd not a person to settle down with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not the sort of thing that gets better. She's showing you how she handles it when things don't go her way. This was about a NYE celebration, and she was unkind. Imagine when it's something serious? You date to learn about the other person and figure out if you're compatible. This was not a good sign.

Perhaps she was socially anxious?

No she's not, she's a bitch. It will take her getting dumped by boyfriend after boyfriend or getting beat by one for her to change her behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Run. She showed you her true colors. Imagine being married to that.

Marriage does not make things better only worse. Imagine how you feel now and multiply it by 10. Is this what you want for the rest of your life?
You are 23. Please run and find someone who respects you.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are 23 years old. Why are you putting up with this?

Because he's a wimp. He comes off as one in his post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are 23 years old. Why are you putting up with this?

Because he's a wimp. He comes off as one in his post.

No, he is just young and asking advice from MUCH older and experienced folks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are 23 years old. Why are you putting up with this?

Because he's a wimp. He comes off as one in his post.

He's 23, he doesn't know any better.

OP, dump this woman immediately!

[Anonymous]

Was she expecting/hoping for and engagement? Had her friends talked it up so much that she was then embarrassed it hadn't happened and made her frustration about it turned into something else?

[Anonymous]

Op..you have been with her for 2 years. Has this ever happened before? Have you always overlooked it? Made excuses for her behavior. If this is a one time deal...let it go. If this is normal...run!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm Italian and this is not Italian behavior. This is trashy behavior.

She showed you who she really is. Believe her. She's not worth keeping around.

Are you from the north? there's a huge difference between a woman from Bologna for example and one from Napoli

+1

OP just described 1/2 of the women from my hometown (including my family) - many descendants from Napoli and still a "vibrant" culture. Some Spaniards can be fiesty/passionate too.

Anyway, doesn't sound like a good match. If you can't handle the heat, OP, move on.

[Anonymous]

We haven't heard back from OP so I suspect he's already forgiven her and doesn't want to hear anything more from us. He may just have to live and learn, as we all did. At 23 I was still wrapped up in unhealthy relationships with plenty of drama. She probably apologized and is on very good behavior until her next outburst. Hopefully OP doesn't get addicted to the cycle, especially since his GF is probably wonderful when she's trying to woo him back.