Videotaped by Friends Husband w/o my consent or knowledge

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP stop with the poor me I'm pregnant nonsense already. This has nothing to do w/ you being pregnant and every time you bring it up you sound really stupid. He didn't film you because you're pregnant. You didn't get pregnant because he filmed you. They have nothing to do with each other. Every time you mention you're pregnant, you minimize the heinousness of crimes against women who aren't pregnant...it's like saying well, this is only bad because I have a bun in the oven, but if I weren't pregnant it would be no big deal. Either he committed a crime against you or he didn't. That's all that matters.

The OP is pregnant and was secretly filmed while undressing and in her pregnant state. This is quite alarming and having to deal with law enforcement procedures could certainly cause her to have a stressful pregnancy. She hardly sounds stupid.

I kinda have to go with the first PP on this one. Irrelevant that she's pregnant. She's acting like she's more a victim because she's pregnant, and she doesn't need to be more of a victim here. This is disgusting and heinous all on its own, pregnant or not.

[Anonymous]

So, OP, did you meet with a local LE officer? I hope they can help you, but am curious as to what they could do. OP doesn't have the tape and didn't even see it herself. All she can do is say that someone told her she was a victim of a crime. I think, sadly, that OP is right that nothing will come of it. The friend's credibility seems a little suspect. Why would she delete the video? Also, if their marriage is bad and they're divorcing seems like a defense attorney could easily cast doubt on the friend a d suggest she made it up.

OP, what did the husband text you? Did he actually admit to taping you?
I hope I'm wrong and there's some way for the cops to get this guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who thinks this is not the huge major deal she makes it out to be?

Yes. Someone taping you without your consent is a horrible violation of privacy and should not be allowed to stand.

.

And yet the NSA does it to you every single day through the camera on your phone, but you don't do anything about it???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP stop with the poor me I'm pregnant nonsense already. This has nothing to do w/ you being pregnant and every time you bring it up you sound really stupid. He didn't film you because you're pregnant. You didn't get pregnant because he filmed you. They have nothing to do with each other. Every time you mention you're pregnant, you minimize the heinousness of crimes against women who aren't pregnant...it's like saying well, this is only bad because I have a bun in the oven, but if I weren't pregnant it would be no big deal. Either he committed a crime against you or he didn't. That's all that matters.

The OP is pregnant and was secretly filmed while undressing and in her pregnant state. This is quite alarming and having to deal with law enforcement procedures could certainly cause her to have a stressful pregnancy. She hardly sounds stupid.

I kinda have to go with the first PP on this one. Irrelevant that she's pregnant. She's acting like she's more a victim because she's pregnant, and she doesn't need to be more of a victim here. This is disgusting and heinous all on its own, pregnant or not.

Same here, first PP. Stop talking about being pregnant OP. This is a violation to anyone. First pregnancy?

[Anonymous]

I'm with the PP's who think the pregnancy has nothing to do with it. So.. you're pregnant. Congratulations!

Now, despite that you need to deal with this issue. I hope the police will press charges and take it from there.

[Anonymous]

Yep the pregnant business is silly. All women have the right not to be violated. Nothing to do with being pregnant which almost every woman is at some point in their lives many numerous times and stop with the special victim nonsense.

[Anonymous]

I think pregnancy is relevant. At least it would be for me. You're pregnant.... You feel all cozy and preparing for the baby.... Bonding with your spouse....and you are trying to keep your mojo clear for the baby.... Then this happens. It's super gross. This is horrible either way but the pregnancy puts it over the top.

I agree I'd threaten to involve the media. Lurid stories like this play big.

[Anonymous]

no the pregnancy does not put this over the top, because she was not visibly pregnant when the taping took place, and not being taped because she was pregnant. She is a FTM enamored of her current vessel status and I agree she needs to turn it down bc it discredits her.

[Anonymous]

having been similarly violated myself, I totally understand wanting to go to the media. However, as nice as your friend was to tell you what she found, there is no longer any evidence. My concern with going to the media is that your friend will likely be horribly embarrassed that this becomes public information and is out for the world to see. So she may try to deny it ever happened. And there is no evidence that it did. Can you really handle the stressful situation that comes with people calling you a liar? The harassment you're likely to receive? Having to try to prove this and tell your story again and again and again? It's not fun. Trust me. Its way more stressful than what you are going through now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP stop with the poor me I'm pregnant nonsense already. This has nothing to do w/ you being pregnant and every time you bring it up you sound really stupid. He didn't film you because you're pregnant. You didn't get pregnant because he filmed you. They have nothing to do with each other. Every time you mention you're pregnant, you minimize the heinousness of crimes against women who aren't pregnant...it's like saying well, this is only bad because I have a bun in the oven, but if I weren't pregnant it would be no big deal. Either he committed a crime against you or he didn't. That's all that matters.

This was very rude. Being pregnant and finding out something like this makes it ten times more traumatic. I couldn't imagine trying to deal with this plus all the other nasty stuff that comes with early pregnancy. Honestly OP I think your husband should take the lead on handling some of this, contacting the police and ensuring a report is file. You don't need the added stress, but most likely if someone does not report him he will do this again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP stop with the poor me I'm pregnant nonsense already. This has nothing to do w/ you being pregnant and every time you bring it up you sound really stupid. He didn't film you because you're pregnant. You didn't get pregnant because he filmed you. They have nothing to do with each other. Every time you mention you're pregnant, you minimize the heinousness of crimes against women who aren't pregnant...it's like saying well, this is only bad because I have a bun in the oven, but if I weren't pregnant it would be no big deal. Either he committed a crime against you or he didn't. That's all that matters.

This was very rude. Being pregnant and finding out something like this makes it ten times more traumatic. I couldn't imagine trying to deal with this plus all the other nasty stuff that comes with early pregnancy. Honestly OP I think your husband should take the lead on handling some of this, contacting the police and ensuring a report is file. You don't need the added stress, but most likely if someone does not report him he will do this again.

Only if you're a first time pregnant woman or one with a history of stress related complications. First timers don't know that just because they are pregnant that they didn't become special fragile teacups.

[Anonymous]

OP here- Just updating.

I was able to file a report with my local jurisdiction here Tuesday evening, and, after contacting the chief of police of the jurisdiction where the incident occurred, I was also able to file a police report there as well and the LEO I am dealing with says they are going to investigate. His cheif of police was shocked at how I was just so summarily dismissed initially just because I do not live in the local area and couldn't come in for a sworn statement. So, progress, and I am feel better now that I pushed back and got some attention.

A family member pointed out, probably correctly, that I am likely not the first woman this creep has recorded; it's not like he just decided to try this on a whim at age 44. I just most likely am the first to find out about it. So I will do as much as I can to get this looked into so he never does it again to me or anyone else.

As for those who didn't care for the fact I was bringing my pregnancy into it- I see your point, and will factor it in going forward. Yes, I am excited about the pregnancy- it has been 13 years between this one and my last, and I've waited a long time for this to happen. The the day I learned of the existance of the video was also the day my husband and I finally got to see our baby via sonogram for the first time, as well as hear it's heartbeat. I yes, I do feel a little more vulnerable right now as I am AMA and worry about something happening to the baby; I watched my SIL miscarry at 16 weeks not too long ago, so not doing anything that would potentially harm my baby is there in the forefront of my mind, and the stress this is all causing worries me for that reason, that's all. But that has nothing to do with what has happened, as was rightly pointed out, and I won't bring it up here again, nor have I factored it into any of my conversations with the PDs.

Thanks for all the care, and concern. It has been of great comfort to know there are others out there who find this as distressing as I do.

[Anonymous]

^OP here again.

Also, both LE's I'm dealing with have said the fact I have an email to which the husband admits to having a video of me changing is enough to go forward with an investigation, regardless of what he's done with the video now.

[Anonymous]

Hooray, OP! Great news. Keep it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think pregnancy is relevant. At least it would be for me. You're pregnant.... You feel all cozy and preparing for the baby.... Bonding with your spouse....and you are trying to keep your mojo clear for the baby.... Then this happens. It's super gross. This is horrible either way but the pregnancy puts it over the top.

I agree I'd threaten to involve the media. Lurid stories like this play big.

The world does not revolve around pregnant women. Get over yourself. Pregnancy doesn't put it over the top unless you're a drama queen to start with.