Videotaped by Friends Husband w/o my consent or knowledge

[Anonymous]

OP I'm glad it's being taken seriously.

[Anonymous]

I totally get it, OP. Being pregnant doesn't change anything legally, but I understand it making you feel more vulnerable. It's dumb that people are harping on that. I hope this creep gets charged with a crime.

[Anonymous]

Hope he goes to jail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think pregnancy is relevant. At least it would be for me. You're pregnant.... You feel all cozy and preparing for the baby.... Bonding with your spouse....and you are trying to keep your mojo clear for the baby.... Then this happens. It's super gross. This is horrible either way but the pregnancy puts it over the top.

I agree I'd threaten to involve the media. Lurid stories like this play big.

yeah, I agree

if you're PSYCHO preggo lady!

hello, folks - Dude's fucked in the head.

[Anonymous]

Also consider civil remedies.

When a video or file is deleted, typically just the "pointer" (a bit of data that points to where on the disk your file is stored) is deleted.

The video may be deleted but it is not gone unless the guy's written solid 0's with DBAN or some similar disk-wiping utility, or has written so much data the original video is no longer readable.

Plus you have an email from the guy admitting it.

I'd unblock him and just have his messages go to the "other" folder in FB or some location where you won't see them in the inbox but he can continue to provide the rope to hang himself.

[Anonymous]

Just pointing out that nobody has been "videotaped" in more than a decade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- Just updating.

I was able to file a report with my local jurisdiction here Tuesday evening, and, after contacting the chief of police of the jurisdiction where the incident occurred, I was also able to file a police report there as well and the LEO I am dealing with says they are going to investigate. His cheif of police was shocked at how I was just so summarily dismissed initially just because I do not live in the local area and couldn't come in for a sworn statement. So, progress, and I am feel better now that I pushed back and got some attention.

A family member pointed out, probably correctly, that I am likely not the first woman this creep has recorded; it's not like he just decided to try this on a whim at age 44. I just most likely am the first to find out about it. So I will do as much as I can to get this looked into so he never does it again to me or anyone else.

As for those who didn't care for the fact I was bringing my pregnancy into it- I see your point, and will factor it in going forward. Yes, I am excited about the pregnancy- it has been 13 years between this one and my last, and I've waited a long time for this to happen. The the day I learned of the existance of the video was also the day my husband and I finally got to see our baby via sonogram for the first time, as well as hear it's heartbeat. I yes, I do feel a little more vulnerable right now as I am AMA and worry about something happening to the baby; I watched my SIL miscarry at 16 weeks not too long ago, so not doing anything that would potentially harm my baby is there in the forefront of my mind, and the stress this is all causing worries me for that reason, that's all. But that has nothing to do with what has happened, as was rightly pointed out, and I won't bring it up here again, nor have I factored it into any of my conversations with the PDs.

Thanks for all the care, and concern. It has been of great comfort to know there are others out there who find this as distressing as I do.

Good for you!! I gave you crap about the pregnancy thing, also noting that you were a victim regardless, and your follow up makes sense. It was a really good reminder to me that everyone has their own context to stuff happening, and you're not always going to barf that out on a message board. I apologize for that, and I just want to wish you well in your pregnancy and hope it all goes very well. Try meditating or anything that might help you deal with the stress of this, because it could get messy. You're brave to dive into this, and you're right, you aren't the only person. Good luck to you.

[Anonymous]

Good for you, OP. No doubt he did the same to others, maybe children. Hope he goes to jail.

[Anonymous]

So op: how did you not notice an ipad sitting on a book case or shelf in the guest room facing you?

[Anonymous]

OP, if you're pressing charges, I strongly recommend you have this post removed from the site.

[Anonymous]

Is your friend planning to divorce this guy? The most productive thing you might be able to do is be an (anti-) character witness is the proceedings that would give her full custody with only monitored visitation for the kids with him. The police reports will help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you're pressing charges, I strongly recommend you have this post removed from the site.

NP, serious question: why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So op: how did you not notice an ipad sitting on a book case or shelf in the guest room facing you?

Not feeling where this is going? Sounds like blame the victim. Please go away.