'stranger danger', me?

[Anonymous]

OP,

You were considerate to offer the kids a ride, but you should know that parents expect to be asked first. It would have been better if you had called their parents from the bus stop when you had made the car ride offer (or given the phone to the kids to ask their parents).

I don't think it's nice that others are piling on you, you're from another country, you didn't know, it's ok.

[Anonymous]

I will say that I never made a big deal about stranger danger with my kid-- we might have had a conversation once about not going off with strangers but that's about it. I think it was fine to offer a ride and I would be fine with my 5th grader taking a ride with someone from the bus stop without talking to me first. I do think once they said no you should probably leave it alone.

I once had the reverse situation where a parent asked me to put a child in the front seat of my car and I said I wasn't comfortable doing that.

[Anonymous]

It's because their parents wouldn't know there was a change in plans. Sadly, many times it's the people the family knows well and thinks they can trust that take advantage of kids. Also, what if you got into an accident?

[Anonymous]

I would be fine with a neighbor offering my kids a ride, but at the point that OP started pressuring the kids to take the ride, I would be concerned. At that point, my kids would be told to NEVER take a ride from that weird neighbor or talk to her or take food from her or go in her house or yard.

[Anonymous]

And here's the thing: I live in AU Park. Extremely safe neighborhood within DC. Houses are about 9-10 feet apart and blocks are about 6 houses long. 4 blocks away is like another universe when your kids are in elementary school. To those kids you are from outside their universe. My kids have watched the Walsh video and memorized the term "Stranger Danger". It would designate a person such as you as a "stranger" and therefore dangerous in that setting. Kids are pretty concrete--it is a system that works as evidenced by these kid's refusal to go along with you. Consider yourself "schooled" on this subject now and stop whining about your feelings being hurt.

[Anonymous]

She didn't say she's from another country did she? She just said she wasn't from around here. Whatever that means. Sounds dangerous. Burn her! She's a witch!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And here's the thing: I live in AU Park. Extremely safe neighborhood within DC. Houses are about 9-10 feet apart and blocks are about 6 houses long. 4 blocks away is like another universe when your kids are in elementary school. To those kids you are from outside their universe. My kids have watched the Walsh video and memorized the term "Stranger Danger". It would designate a person such as you as a "stranger" and therefore dangerous in that setting. Kids are pretty concrete--it is a system that works as evidenced by these kid's refusal to go along with you. Consider yourself "schooled" on this subject now and stop whining about your feelings being hurt.

I just want to emphasize that the Walsh video never uses the term stranger danger. It emphasizes safe side adults, don't knows and kind of knows. As Gavin de Becker points out in his book, Protecting the Gift, if you child is lost, they should be told which stranger to ask for help if their safe adults aren't present. The type of child that gets victimized is one who is wandering around lost and confused not asking anyone for help because they have been told strangers are dangerous. Gavin says that you should teach your child to ask the person behind the counter (at a store) or a mom with kids for help. Most of the time children are victimized, an adult comes up to them and offers to "help." These are usually not the people that the child should trust. If I see a lost child (like in Target), I find a store employee and hand the child over to them instead of offering to help myself just because of this reason.

When I am with my two kids like in the mall, I go over with them before we go inside what our plan is. Our plan is that if they look around and suddenly can't find me, then they are to go into the nearest store and ask the person behind the counter if they can call my cellphone. They are to stay there until I come and get them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And here's the thing: I live in AU Park. Extremely safe neighborhood within DC. Houses are about 9-10 feet apart and blocks are about 6 houses long. 4 blocks away is like another universe when your kids are in elementary school. To those kids you are from outside their universe. My kids have watched the Walsh video and memorized the term "Stranger Danger". It would designate a person such as you as a "stranger" and therefore dangerous in that setting. Kids are pretty concrete--it is a system that works as evidenced by these kid's refusal to go along with you. Consider yourself "schooled" on this subject now and stop whining about your feelings being hurt.

I just want to emphasize that the Walsh video never uses the term stranger danger. It emphasizes safe side adults, don't knows and kind of knows. As Gavin de Becker points out in his book, Protecting the Gift, if you child is lost, they should be told which stranger to ask for help if their safe adults aren't present. The type of child that gets victimized is one who is wandering around lost and confused not asking anyone for help because they have been told strangers are dangerous. Gavin says that you should teach your child to ask the person behind the counter (at a store) or a mom with kids for help. Most of the time children are victimized, an adult comes up to them and offers to "help." These are usually not the people that the child should trust. If I see a lost child (like in Target), I find a store employee and hand the child over to them instead of offering to help myself just because of this reason.

When I am with my two kids like in the mall, I go over with them before we go inside what our plan is. Our plan is that if they look around and suddenly can't find me, then they are to go into the nearest store and ask the person behind the counter if they can call my cellphone. They are to stay there until I come and get them.

The creepy guy behind the counter at walmart can't be a bad guy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will say that I never made a big deal about stranger danger with my kid-- we might have had a conversation once about not going off with strangers but that's about it. I think it was fine to offer a ride and I would be fine with my 5th grader taking a ride with someone from the bus stop without talking to me first. I do think once they said no you should probably leave it alone.

I once had the reverse situation where a parent asked me to put a child in the front seat of my car and I said I wasn't comfortable doing that.

you are crazy

[Anonymous]

You should not have offered to drive the kids without getting their moms permission. What if you got into an accident with them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She didn't say she's from another country did she? She just said she wasn't from around here. Whatever that means. Sounds dangerous. Burn her! She's a witch!

"I am from another part of the world" means that she is from another country. Please read people's posts before you comment.

[Anonymous]

Well there is a 'Stranger Danger' Video of some kind. I bought it for my kids when they first started walking around outside in our yard alone. The video uses that EXACT language and defines categories of strangers for kids to remember.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She didn't say she's from another country did she? She just said she wasn't from around here. Whatever that means. Sounds dangerous. Burn her! She's a witch!

"I am from another part of the world" means that she is from another country. Please read people's posts before you comment.

Yes I was being facetious. Develop a sense of humor before you comment.

[Anonymous]

The term "stranger danger" is from The Safe Side Video by Julie Clark of Baby Mozart fame: http://thesafeside.com

I believe it's endorsed by John Walsh. He's on the website, anyway. The video is hilarious and very effective.

[Anonymous]