'stranger danger', me?
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Anonymous
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This morning after waiting for the bus 30 minutes in the snow with my 1st grader, I decided we were going to walk back home and drive to school, one mile away.
There were other kids at the bus stop, three of the older ones were there without parents. There were three kids I know, two brothers (5th and 4th grade) and a girl (5th grade) and I offered them a ride to school. First they said yes. When we were walking, they started talking among themselves, and told me they would just go home and ask the brothers mom to drive them. We all knew that the mom was home with 2 toddlers, so I said that it was easier if they would just come with me. Then the older boy said to me 'stranger danger'. I could have walked to the brothers house and talked to the mom and say 'look, the bus hasn't come, we are all frozen and have wet feet, I can drive your kids and the girl to school'. But it was two blocks away, and I didn't. I am from another part of the world, where horrible things also happen, but I feel that people trust each other a bit more. I am interested in what you think of these kids judgement and the 'stranger danger' situation they felt given that: - I see them every day - I know the mom (we have not been to each other's houses, but we see each other every day) - I know where they live - I know where I live, 4 blocks from them - They are 4th and 5th grade - there were three of them - I am a woman, and I was with my own son (somehow, I think these two are important too) - the school is one mile away, no highway, 25 mile speed limit. We all want our kids to be cautious, but is this the reaction and judgement that you would expect from your kid? Thank |
Anonymous
| In a perfect world, no. But in the world we live in, yes Id be very happy if my kids came to that conclusion. Particularly with getting into a car. |
Anonymous
| I understand how you feel OP, but I think they did the right thing. Their parents may have been very unhappy to hear they got into anyone's car, even a neighborhood mom, without their permission. Especially on a day like this. Try not to take it too personally. |
Anonymous
| If that had been my kid that did that and just came home...he'd get a high five from me. Are you likely to be a danger, HIGHLY DOUBT IT. But my kid thinking about POSSIBLE danger and erring on the side of caution means way more to me than whether or not you think Americans over estimate the possibility of danger. By the way, if I had been in your position, I totally would have thought the kids may not want to get into a car with a person they do not know, I would have either offered to walk to their house to ask mom, or offered to call their mom. I am "that" mom, I have my kid's friends call their parents to let them know when they are at my house, if say they had all been at the playground then wanted to come. Yessir! |
Anonymous
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I've told my kids never ever get into a car unless I or dad say it's ok. I don't trust them to be discriminating yet. Bummer they missed a ride, but that is acceptable to the admittedly highly unlikely chance of abduction.
Although, on the other hand, I have taught them to approach a mom for help if they are lost (like at store). Just no cars! |
Anonymous
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I have also had that jolt of realizing I am the dangerous stranger!
I have a son with learning disabilities and with him especially (with his poor ability to make decisions), we have to keep things simple. I would want him to not get into the car with you. I think even for kids without LD, this consistency may be important. |
Anonymous
| I'd rather my kid be safe than sorry, I'm glad they're taught to be more cautious. I'm sorry if this offends you but what the kids did was right. |
Anonymous
I agree. For me, the weather would have been the main thing--I'd rather them be home than be driven to school by someone I don't know particularly well. If you could have called the mom, that would have improved the situation. In the future, you might want to think about gathering names/numbers of families at your bus stop and sharing the list with each other. |
Anonymous
| What part of the world are you from? If you are no white I don't think my kids would get in the car with you either. |
Anonymous
Wow. Race is the reason? You realize the vast majority of pedophiles are white, right? And OP, many of them use women to lure their targets. I think those kids were right to turn away. |
Anonymous
| The kids are very perceptive and did the right thing. On the occasions where the bus did not come in our neighborhood, the mom who offered to drive called each parent before she put the kid in her car. After the first time, we all just exchanged cellphone numbers so we could text for future problems. |
Anonymous
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They did the right thing. I hope you didn't make them feel bad. |
Anonymous
| Maybe they thought it was best not to be with an unknown driver in the snow? |
Anonymous
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If they don't know you it was a good decision. I would want my kids to do the same. They are only allowed to go into houses that I have deemed "safe". I know most of my neighbors but that does not mean they go in your house or drive somewhere with you without my permission. Besides, if they did not go on the bus, then I heard that the bus had not come, I would not know where my children were.
You might be a drunk I don't know. |
Anonymous
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I agree the kids did the right thing. If you have a way to call their parents I would do so and tell them what a good job the kids did. Use this as a chance to get to know the families. You never know when your child might be the one in that situation. You should also talk it over with your child so they understand what happened.
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