s/o Would you date a 40 yr old who lives with her parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a single mom and I live with my mom and dad. I am saving to buy a condo and can't save much if I rented an apt. Not everyone makes tons of money. I am a teacher and don't make much and my ex is always looking for creative ways not to pay child support.

That's a great reason to live with your parents. I still wouldn't date you until you were in a place of your own and more financially stable.

Not PP, but... really? Is this what American men have been reduced to? This is kind of pathetic. Men should look for "pretty," not "financially stable." Women need "financially stable" Yes, I know, I know, not PC. But WTF?!

Most women wouldn't even look at a man who was living with his parents at 40, under any circumstances. Double standards are real.

This is sooo true.

[Anonymous]

There is a big difference between a single mom with kids living at home with her parents and a single guy living at home with his parents. If it was a single guy WITH KIDS living at home with his parents, that is a different story.

[Anonymous]

HELL NO! I'd maybe pump and dump, but I wouldn't date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a big difference between a single mom with kids living at home with her parents and a single guy living at home with his parents. If it was a single guy WITH KIDS living at home with his parents, that is a different story.

No there isn't. Both are undateable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a big difference between a single mom with kids living at home with her parents and a single guy living at home with his parents. If it was a single guy WITH KIDS living at home with his parents, that is a different story.

No there isn't. Both are undateable.

If he's hot enough, he may be dateable. At least for a little while. Women care about looks too, fellas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
If he's hot enough, he may be dateable. At least for a little while. Women care about looks too, fellas.

I guess, if you like being #2.

[Anonymous]

You need to find out more. I moved in with my sister after my divorce which saddled me with $40k in cc debt. Ex just had to make payments as he charged most of them up but of course he didn't pay all the time.
Just find out more. She doesn't need a person next to her who runs away based on the few things you do know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a single mom and I live with my mom and dad. I am saving to buy a condo and can't save much if I rented an apt. Not everyone makes tons of money. I am a teacher and don't make much and my ex is always looking for creative ways not to pay child support.

That's a great reason to live with your parents. I still wouldn't date you until you were in a place of your own and more financially stable.

Not PP, but... really? Is this what American men have been reduced to? This is kind of pathetic. Men should look for "pretty," not "financially stable." Women need "financially stable" Yes, I know, I know, not PC. But WTF?!

Most women wouldn't even look at a man who was living with his parents at 40, under any circumstances. Double standards are real.

Too broad of a generalization. On the double standards, yes, they're real. But they're real for a reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a single mom and I live with my mom and dad. I am saving to buy a condo and can't save much if I rented an apt. Not everyone makes tons of money. I am a teacher and don't make much and my ex is always looking for creative ways not to pay child support.

That's a great reason to live with your parents. I still wouldn't date you until you were in a place of your own and more financially stable.

Not PP, but... really? Is this what American men have been reduced to? This is kind of pathetic. Men should look for "pretty," not "financially stable." Women need "financially stable" Yes, I know, I know, not PC. But WTF?!

Most women wouldn't even look at a man who was living with his parents at 40, under any circumstances. Double standards are real.

I'm teaching my sons the same thing. Don't date someone who lives with her parents and is over the age of 27 or so. She's a dependent child, not a grown ass adult. I want my sons to marry women who are smart, tough, and capable. I want them to marry women who know how to work hard and who will value the money that they or their husband earns and manage it carefully. I want them to know the value of a dollar and to live within their means. I want the future mothers of my grandchildren to be women who can take care of themselves and their kids if something happens to my sons.

Pretty is nice, but it fades.

The question is... why would those women want your sons? There seems to be no added value in the picture

[Anonymous]

RHinVA wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Multigenerational households are not uncommon nowadays either. I would consider living with my mom as she ages to help her out and allow my kids to spend more time with her!

The Mercedes is a bit weird to me...but one would need a lot more information about the situation before jumping to conclusions on that one.

The Mercedes could be paid off and a leftover from her marriage when she had more money. Or it could be one of those cheaper 30k models of Mercedes. How old are the kids? If they're in school, living with the grandparents could be how she has someone to watch them after school when she's at work. And she could be helping them with their mortgage. Lots of what-ifs in this scenario. I don't even see it as a yellow flag really, more of a subject for discussion after you've gotten to know her.

I'm the OP. She's already mentioned she's had the car only a couple of years and been divorced over five. I actually met her post divorce and she was driving an older Nissan. Her child is school age and I think she relies on her parents a great deal. As far as I can tell, no money is given to them. In fact it appears quite the opposite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely. There are many benefits of dating her. Especially if a man is looking for a more stable long term relationship. I would assume the following things about her -
1) She is a good mom and her parents provide childcare for her kids. This would actually allow a man to have her over at his place or go for late night dates without her being anxious to get back to her child. She would not incur babysitting costs when she is out with the man.
2) If she is doing this for financial reasons, it means that she is pragmatic about her money and is a saver. She values money and is not high maintenance.
3) She did not bring home dates to her house and did not get into casual hooking up because she had her parents and child in the same house. So, there is a great chance that she did not turn into the bimbo who sleeps with everyone once a divorce is final. She has her head screwed on right.
4) She has a support system in place, which means that the relationship can progress at an organic pace.

Brilliantly stated!
Another plus one!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely. There are many benefits of dating her. Especially if a man is looking for a more stable long term relationship. I would assume the following things about her -
1) She is a good mom and her parents provide childcare for her kids. This would actually allow a man to have her over at his place or go for late night dates without her being anxious to get back to her child. She would not incur babysitting costs when she is out with the man.
2) If she is doing this for financial reasons, it means that she is pragmatic about her money and is a saver. She values money and is not high maintenance.
3) She did not bring home dates to her house and did not get into casual hooking up because she had her parents and child in the same house. So, there is a great chance that she did not turn into the bimbo who sleeps with everyone once a divorce is final. She has her head screwed on right.
4) She has a support system in place, which means that the relationship can progress at an organic pace.

+200. Can't believe people are raising a red flag ! She is trying to ensure her child has a stable loving environment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely. There are many benefits of dating her. Especially if a man is looking for a more stable long term relationship. I would assume the following things about her -
1) She is a good mom and her parents provide childcare for her kids. This would actually allow a man to have her over at his place or go for late night dates without her being anxious to get back to her child. She would not incur babysitting costs when she is out with the man.
2) If she is doing this for financial reasons, it means that she is pragmatic about her money and is a saver. She values money and is not high maintenance.
3) She did not bring home dates to her house and did not get into casual hooking up because she had her parents and child in the same house. So, there is a great chance that she did not turn into the bimbo who sleeps with everyone once a divorce is final. She has her head screwed on right.
4) She has a support system in place, which means that the relationship can progress at an organic pace.

+200. Can't believe people are raising a red flag ! She is trying to ensure her child has a stable loving environment

That just so happens to be a total free ride for her. I'm a woman and wouldn't date a single dad who drove an expensive car and lived with his parents. Sorry, that screams loser. Don't see why it's different for a woman.

And I see there are cases on here where some people got screwed financially in a divorce and have to live with their parents. That's of course totally different but I still wouldn't date someone in that boat. Too much baggage and I'll be damned if I'm dealing with a dick of an ex that someone else is stuck with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a single mom and I live with my mom and dad. I am saving to buy a condo and can't save much if I rented an apt. Not everyone makes tons of money. I am a teacher and don't make much and my ex is always looking for creative ways not to pay child support.

That's a great reason to live with your parents. I still wouldn't date you until you were in a place of your own and more financially stable.

Not PP, but... really? Is this what American men have been reduced to? This is kind of pathetic. Men should look for "pretty," not "financially stable." Women need "financially stable" Yes, I know, I know, not PC. But WTF?!

Most women wouldn't even look at a man who was living with his parents at 40, under any circumstances. Double standards are real.

I'm teaching my sons the same thing. Don't date someone who lives with her parents and is over the age of 27 or so. She's a dependent child, not a grown ass adult. I want my sons to marry women who are smart, tough, and capable. I want them to marry women who know how to work hard and who will value the money that they or their husband earns and manage it carefully. I want them to know the value of a dollar and to live within their means. I want the future mothers of my grandchildren to be women who can take care of themselves and their kids if something happens to my sons.

Pretty is nice, but it fades.

The question is... why would those women want your sons? There seems to be no added value in the picture

Because they bring the same deal to the table -- smart, capable, good workers, good fathers, loving men who make good partners and know how to balance life and work and family... just like their father. DH makes great money, has a black belt in karate, and knows how to "grab my face" (to quote a recent DCUM thread) in bed. He also knows how to change a diaper and bake a cheesecake. He's sort of awesome that way. He doesn't have to play PUA games to appear self-confident or attract women. He is comfortable in his own skin.

If you really mean what you just said then I'm sorry for you. That's a very rigid way to view roles in a marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely. There are many benefits of dating her. Especially if a man is looking for a more stable long term relationship. I would assume the following things about her -
1) She is a good mom and her parents provide childcare for her kids. This would actually allow a man to have her over at his place or go for late night dates without her being anxious to get back to her child. She would not incur babysitting costs when she is out with the man.
2) If she is doing this for financial reasons, it means that she is pragmatic about her money and is a saver. She values money and is not high maintenance.
3) She did not bring home dates to her house and did not get into casual hooking up because she had her parents and child in the same house. So, there is a great chance that she did not turn into the bimbo who sleeps with everyone once a divorce is final. She has her head screwed on right.
4) She has a support system in place, which means that the relationship can progress at an organic pace.

+200. Can't believe people are raising a red flag ! She is trying to ensure her child has a stable loving environment

That just so happens to be a total free ride for her. I'm a woman and wouldn't date a single dad who drove an expensive car and lived with his parents. Sorry, that screams loser. Don't see why it's different for a woman.

And I see there are cases on here where some people got screwed financially in a divorce and have to live with their parents. That's of course totally different but I still wouldn't date someone in that boat. Too much baggage and I'll be damned if I'm dealing with a dick of an ex that someone else is stuck with.

+1000 If the roles were reversed people would say she was a user and a loser.