Single and buying a home. Tacky to register for a housewarming party?

[Anonymous]

tacky x 100. wow!

[Anonymous]

Super tacky. I am married and didn't register. We just had people over and didn't even call it a house warming party.

[Anonymous]

I can't believe so many people think it's fine to have a wedding registry to set up their home, but not one for a single person who might never get married and does need help setting up her house. I'm not saying put the info on the invite or be pushy about it (which no one should do for any registry, obviously). I have single friends who've gotten me so many sweet gifts over the years for various reasons (as a PP said); I'd be so happy to celebrate their milestones. This immediate judgment of 'tacky'... It's just mean-spirited and closed-minded.

Even the example OP cites, maybe it made the woman's mom happy to see her kid celebrated in a big way for once. I don't know them, but hearing it in the abstract, I don't esmt to judge them so harshly.

[Anonymous]

What? Yes, it's tacky.

Have an open house. People are likely to bring you gifts, but you cannot have any input into what they give you unless they ask you directly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe so many people think it's fine to have a wedding registry to set up their home, but not one for a single person who might never get married and does need help setting up her house. I'm not saying put the info on the invite or be pushy about it (which no one should do for any registry, obviously). I have single friends who've gotten me so many sweet gifts over the years for various reasons (as a PP said); I'd be so happy to celebrate their milestones. This immediate judgment of 'tacky'... It's just mean-spirited and closed-minded.

Even the example OP cites, maybe it made the woman's mom happy to see her kid celebrated in a big way for once. I don't know them, but hearing it in the abstract, I don't esmt to judge them so harshly.

No, it's not mean. People can always ask OP or others what they might want, but that guidance should come only after the gift-giver asks for it. Having a registry = "I expect you to buy me a gift." I get what you mean about singles getting the shorter end of the stick, but that's the way the etiquette shakes out.

Maybe OP can set up an Amazon wish list, and hope that people check for it. That's not exactly a registry and can be seen as unlinked to the housewarming. But even then OP cannot direct people to it unless they ask her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tacky. It's even tacky for YOU to throw the housewarming party. Others throw it for you. If you're throwing it, it says something about you (like why doesn't anyone like you enough to say, "We should throw Jane a housewarming!"?)

What? This is a new one on me.

it looks self-serving. like you are just trying to get gifts. i think it's fine to throw your own housewarming, as long as you make it clear that you ARE NOT looking for gifts, and just want to entertain people, rather than have them shower you.

How can someone else throw a housewarming party for you?? The housewarming is to invite people into your home and "break in" the house by hosting friends and family, welcoming them to your hearth. Someone else can't do that for you!!

[Anonymous]

i cannot eloquently articulate (but i will try to) why i think it's fine to have a wedding or baby registry but it's super tacky to have a housewarming registry. like justice scalia said, "i know it when i see it." it just feels tacky.

what about these reasons?

-marriage and babies are about celebrating 2 people, 3 people, etc. buying a gift for those occasions is celebrating a new family. a single person registering for buying a home looks gift-grabby and attention-seeking.

-if the woman's mom wanted to see her 30 year old daughter celebrated in a big way for once, why didn't she host the party for her daughter and buy her furnishings to outfit her new home? it's tacky to whisper and spread the word to her circles that her daughter is registered at bed bath beyond, target, williams sonoma, etc.

-buying a gift for a wedding is mainly to celebrate a couple starting their new lives together, but the couple is also likely to be hosting a party, dinner etc for the guests. i don't buy wedding gifts with the intent to "cover the cost of my plate", but i know that many do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm pretty conservative on registries, but this actually doesn't bother me that much. I've had a couple of friends who never got married, never had kids and finally went ahead and registered for a big birthday (like 40 or 50) or a housewarming. It sounds tacky but actually kind of worked for these ladies. Like they didn't have these other milestones but hell yeah were going to register for some gifts once in their lives and have a great party. Depends on your friends, I guess.

Sounds like a Pity Party.

[Anonymous]

Tacky to register for gifts unless the single woman had lived with her parents 100% of her adult life and that was for at least 15 years....otherwise wouldn't she have had kitchen/bath stuff? Gardening and home repair tools?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm pretty conservative on registries, but this actually doesn't bother me that much. I've had a couple of friends who never got married, never had kids and finally went ahead and registered for a big birthday (like 40 or 50) or a housewarming. It sounds tacky but actually kind of worked for these ladies. Like they didn't have these other milestones but hell yeah were going to register for some gifts once in their lives and have a great party. Depends on your friends, I guess.

Sounds like a Pity Party.

You can have a great party to celebrate without asking for specific gifts. People will give you something as a token of their happiness for you for your new home, 40th bday whatever....but please don't register!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe so many people think it's fine to have a wedding registry to set up their home, but not one for a single person who might never get married and does need help setting up her house. I'm not saying put the info on the invite or be pushy about it (which no one should do for any registry, obviously). I have single friends who've gotten me so many sweet gifts over the years for various reasons (as a PP said); I'd be so happy to celebrate their milestones. This immediate judgment of 'tacky'... It's just mean-spirited and closed-minded.

Even the example OP cites, maybe it made the woman's mom happy to see her kid celebrated in a big way for once. I don't know them, but hearing it in the abstract, I don't esmt to judge them so harshly.

No, it's not mean. People can always ask OP or others what they might want, but that guidance should come only after the gift-giver asks for it. Having a registry = "I expect you to buy me a gift." I get what you mean about singles getting the shorter end of the stick, but that's the way the etiquette shakes out.

Maybe OP can set up an Amazon wish list, and hope that people check for it. That's not exactly a registry and can be seen as unlinked to the housewarming. But even then OP cannot direct people to it unless they ask her.

I can see this perspective re: singles getting the short end of the stick. And I can even see how people can view registering for weddings and babies as "tacky". But registering for marriage and baby shower is now a common thing, and thus has been made traditional. It's a double standard working agst single people. It just is.

[Anonymous]

Will get flamed for this but let's just come out and say it. It's more of a life accomplishment and a cause for celebration by family and friends for one to get married and have a child than it is to acquire property with a 30 year mortgage. There. I said it.

[Anonymous]

when i am invited to a baby shower or wedding or even graduation party, i plan to give a tangible gift or money. when i am invited to a housewarming party, i plan to give a plant or a bottle. having a registry for a housewarming implies that you are expecting gifts. TACKY TACKY TACKY on the woman's mother for setting up this charade. she should have known better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm pretty conservative on registries, but this actually doesn't bother me that much. I've had a couple of friends who never got married, never had kids and finally went ahead and registered for a big birthday (like 40 or 50) or a housewarming. It sounds tacky but actually kind of worked for these ladies. Like they didn't have these other milestones but hell yeah were going to register for some gifts once in their lives and have a great party. Depends on your friends, I guess.

this makes me feel bad for those people.

[Anonymous]

uhh obviously tacky. congratulations, you were able to plunk over a down payment? why did she have to make it into a gift-receiving opportunity?